Today (Sunday) I finished up the last of three weekends of helping out with a web series. It was unpaid and I didn't really do a whole more than eat food. But even though I initially dreaded the drive, in the end I liked it. First of all I was scared that it would be an hour, but because it was the weekend I covered it in half the time. And even though I didn't think signing up for this through initially, I grew to like the job. The people I worked with are great, the shoot was fun, and I learned a lot, much more so because I never was an unpaid Production Assistant at all when I was in college.
It also seems to happen this way to me: I agree to do something, immediately regret, tell myself I have to keep my promise, do it, grow to like it, and flip totally the other way and get overly sentimental about no longer being able to do it. That's what happened now, but I kind of knew why I would miss it when I signed up. I did this because it would get me out of the house for three straight weekends. That's three weekends of being able to tell my parents I am "busy," of being able to avoid any orders to clean my room or do chores around the house, of evading my parents becoming pissed at me for no good reason. I don't know how productive I was at the shoot, but it did make me feel good that I was doing something, and that's better than staying home and awaiting my parents' wrath (although I will admit that neither is better than just staying home).
That is gone now. Sure, I can make an excuse that I have things to do next weekend, and the one thereafter, and after that. But I would quickly get bored with that, and I would eventually have to cave and just stay home, either because I'm too tired to keep up with the lies or I just want to fucking stay in and not do anything, and I will take the consequences. Except that maybe I only think I can take them.
I'm going to miss the shoot. 'Cause I have nothing else to do.
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