Lost My Job Today

I have been cut loose from the scoring project about 90 minutes ago.  It was scheduled to go till tomorrow, but I've been through this song-and-dance before and am acutely aware that the ax could fall at any time.  And so it did today.  Not even seven more hours of income for tomorrow.

It's obvious why: We as a collective worked so fast that we worked ourselves out of work.  I'm pretty sure that I wasn't one of those people; I had so many bad tapes that I had to rewind and listen two, three, four times to make sure I caught what the kid was saying.  So I blame everyone around me for being so enthusiastic we lost our jobs a day early.  I don't want to sound like a union guy -- I'm not a teabagger union-buster like Scott Walker -- but it's obvious that the best way to tackle an assignment like this while maximizing our wages is to excel, but not that much.  We had to pull the reigns on ourselves so that we had more tapes to listen to for tomorrow, while keeping up a pace that is just above and beyond what is expected of us.  Instead we put our foot down on the accelerator and drove ourselves off a cliff.

The feelings of rejection and abandonment overwhelm me right now.  Right now, I am completely unemployed -- nothing now, nothing lined up later.  Therefore, I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to do.  I think I'll be OK for now.  But later?

Add to all of this the fact that not going to work means I have no real reason to leave the house.  So does that mean I'll see my parents more often?  I think they still go to The Store, but the last time I saw them out was two weeks ago.  It most certainly could have changed, especially since My Father is now on a painting jag.

The problem starts as soon as tomorrow morning.  I don't have to get up at 7.  Will they raise a stink?  And what the fuck do I do?  Will I stand my ground or just, you know, go out because I have to?  Remember the contract I spoke to y'all about, the one I had to sign or else I had to leave home?  They might invoke the stipulation that if I don't have a job, I have to be up by 9:30 and do something.  Goddamn, what if they catch me?  I can't get up at 9:30 every fucking morning!!!

And what about the next day, and the next day, and the next day?  Goddamn, all of life is just one big pain-in-the-ass. ...