Expenses Without Receipt

We shall start Christmas, Tuesday, December 25:

• I didn't go out on Tuesday, so wind it back to Christmas Eve, Monday the 24th ... the last thing I spent was the wild party at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition).  Tip for a dancer onstage, tip for a can of Grain Belt Nordeast, and dances from ********a, Cicily, and a black chick whose name I will withhold for now because even though she may be a rip-off bitch I have a feeling she'd pull on my dick at a private party: $63.
• The mocha at Southdale.  Caribou Coffee has a daily trivia question; answer correctly and you'll get ten cents off.  The question Christmas Eve was how many yards does Adrian Peterson need to rush for in order to break the single-season rushing record?  Well, I over-thought myself because I knew I heard the number 208 in regards to the record.  But was that to break the record or merely to tie it?  I've heard it both ways, I think.  And then I looked at the barista who took my order.  She seemed to be a wise-ass, and I immediately imagined me saying 208, and she'd go, "Wrong!  209!"  And I'd go, "Wait, I've heard 208 all over the place!"  And she'd say, "That's just to tie the record.  He needs 209 to break the record!!"  And I'd just stand there, apoplectic, with my dick in my hands.  I wasn't going to get out-clevered!  So I said 209, and of course it was 208, goddammit.  And that made me so sheepish and peeveed that I didn't give the quarter-cent tip I usually do.  I was pissed.  And yet the barista wanted to make conversation about Peterson.  At first I didn't want to because I blew a very easy trivia question because I over-thought it, but then I didn't want to act like more of an asshole and just walk away from her, so I slowly started giving her my expertise about what I thought Peterson and the Vikings will do Sunday instead of saying, "Eh, I don't know."  Didn't give her more than three cents' tip, though, because I was still pissed: $4.10.
• Sunday the 23rd I finally got out to exercise at the community center.  And since I think I have some time, I committed to a monthly pass: $15.
• To Saturday, the 22nd ... my friend and I got to the place we were eating dinner early, so we both paid into a drink for him and a drink for me.  I threw in a: $5.
• After eating, I relaxed at the stripclub.  Coffee and tips only: $10.
• Oh, and before my night out I went to the Mall of America to try out a shave at The Art of Shaving.  Expensive, but I still believe that anyone can shave me better than I shave myself.  Besides, I have to try it just once.  Anyway, I'm sure that I dropped in a quarter when I passed by the Salvation Army on my way inside: 25 cents.
• Oh, didn't I find a penny somewhere.  I think I did.  I think I'll put it here.  An infusion of: 1 cent.
• Friday the 21st: Probably the last time eating at the corporate eatery at the ground floor of the building I used to work at.  I think I got oatmeal and coffee, the latter because they unplugged the coffee machine at work because they were moving.  And goddamn, I forgot how much it cost.  Fucking Christ, I think I'm going to take a wild guess: $4.52.
• Went to the University of Minnesota women's basketball game that evening.  Got in free.  Program, hot dog, small Coke: $10.50.
• Somewhat spontaneously, I decided to see the Lovely Creatures Cabaret show at Bryant-Lake Bowl.  Ticket, tips for the acts, coffee and a tip for coffee (I think): $17.
• And just before I went in I saw this great place called Rusty Quarters.  It's an arcade, for crissake!  Had time to play one game of Centipede: 50 cents.
• Thursday, the 20th ... ah, fuck, for the life of me I know I had lunch at this eatery, but I don't remember specifically what I ate, let alone how much it cost.  I'll throw out: $7.27.
• For Wednesday the 19th I'll just say the same fucking thing: $7.27.
• And then, that evening, after going to The Store and mopping up a few water puddles, I treated myself to eating at Flameburger.  And after I pay after eating I am reminded again why I don't eat there often.  With tip, I think it's: $15.50.

I think/hope I'm caught up.