If I'm Not Making Money, I'm Spending Money

That should be a lyric in a rap song, if it isn't already.  But I have noticed this for some time now.  I guess it's me just living in extremes.  When I'm unemployed I need to feel like I need to do something, so I go out and eat or go to stripclubs or buy shit I don't need to buy.  All of it is just to relieve boredom.  That need to speed is accentuated now that my parents are not doing anything but sitting at home; I no longer have any days in which I could just slum at home and not spend money.  I have to go out, and when I go out I have to do something, and that doing something means spending money.

So thank God and Buddha that I now have a job.  Not only am I earning money so I can start paying down my current debts (and debts to come), being so busy working (and being so strung out after work) prevents me from having the time to spend money.  The only thing I really need is coffee, and they supply that.  I buy my own creamer, but I got that before the assignment even began.  And just to make my parents happy, I bring a banana with me to eat at work.  I understand, though; they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  They're right.

I felt really, really good that I did not spend anything, not a single dime, between Monday and Friday.  I didn't even take out my credit card for anything ... although, come to think of it, there may have been an automatic payment last week.  But I did not intentionally spend money, and it felt very empowering, even addicting.  By contrast, I spent today doling out cash for two cups of coffee and a ticket and beer for the Lianne La Havas concert tonight.  (She's great, by the way; if you like hippie soul with a girl who can both sign her heart out and strum a good lick, she's the one for you.)  I also whipped out my card for Hooters (the restaurant) and gasoline.  It felt kind of weird, even though it reinforced the fact that since I wasn't working today, all I was doing was shelling out money.  But on the other hand I wasn't panicking like I sometimes do when I regret spending money I don't have because, at least for now, I do have money.

That's all I wanted to say.