Double Fuck-Up

What I thought/hoped would be a a day of quiet progress at work turned into a clusterfuck.  I did not do a good job of preventing it, and I don't think I reacted to it that well.

The first thing was lunch, which was being provided by some co-workers.  I was invited yesterday.  Today, I did my usual thing of going out just a bit before lunch to check the Internet and take a shit.  I thought that, according to the person who invited me, I would be eating earlier than my usual lunch hour (where I don't eat but sleep), so I made sure I got home by around that time.

As I waited for someone to come get me, I continued working.  My boss came over in the morning and I promised him I would get to the next phase after I do this thing real quick, but that quick thing had complications (even though it is real simple) and soon I'm thinking that my boss is thinking, "Didn't he say he was going to do something real quick?"  So I was just doing that until it was lunchtime.  But then, while I was talking to someone, someone from the department who was having this lunch said that they're meeting in the break room.  Shit!

There was still food there, thank goodness, and the beans are hot.  They didn't seem upset, so I hurriedly collected food and started to chow down in order to catch up to them.  But then everybody else started to get up.  Oh; they are done.  And I finally got food -- I started my lunch break -- when they finished theirs.  So I took my food back to my desk and, well, came back to where I left off and continued working.

Two things about this.  First, obviously, is why I didn't eat with these guys.  From my actions I was acting as if someone would get me.  But they said that they were looking for me and they didn't see me.  Well, then, I'm thinking, Why didn't you leave a Post-It on my computer saying you guys are in the lunch room?  But then, as usual, I go from pointing the finger to pulling the thumb.  Maybe I could have gotten off the shitter sooner.  Or maybe I could have interpreted "getting the food" as equal to "lunch is at."  Or I could have just swung by the lunch room to check if they were in there.  Dammit, why the hell didn't I just do that?  If they weren't there, that's fine.  It's not as if I would embarrass myself if I checked and no one was in there.  I would've went to their department after that.  Why the fuck didn't I do that?

Well ... I had to work, and I thought that maybe it was too early to eat, and they would come around if it was time to eat, and ... oh, fuck, these excuses are terrible.  I don't know why I was too lazy to at least check.  I get invited to this party, and I was looking forward to it, and I fuck it up and I'm now stealing away food without at least being nice enough to sit down and talk to the others.  God, I feel like such an asshole for doing that.

That leads me to the second thing.  How does this look?  Not well.  They've known me for three years, but I think the least I could do was show up somewhere I'm invited.  I couldn't even do that.  Meanwhile the male of The Two was also invited, and I know he at least showed up on time.  He probably got brownie points for that, moreso because I wasn't there.  Great -- now he's their favorite.

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Meanwhile, there was this folder that had a question in it.  It was from the male of The Two.  I was supposed to give it someone else, someone who kind of is my boss, but is more my superior on the organizational chart although I'm not connected to her.  It's complicated.  Anyway, I passed off the packet to her because I thought she could answer the question.

Guess here is she was having a bad day.  Because as soon as I gave her that packet and she found out what was missing, she started asking questions and saying, basically, "This can't happen."  She's been under a lot of stress lately.  I've tried to help, and I want to help.  But there are some things that I have to ask for help on, and this apparently is one of those cases where she can't help me.  So I shrugged my shoulders and went back to my tasks at hand.

Later, my boss came over.  And he gave me an edict: Next time I have a problem, go to him.  OooooK.  My boss and her didn't, and/or aren't, seeing eye-to-eye on things, and I guess he got into trouble.  Now he has to fix this, and even he doesn't know how.  Uh, whoops.

Look, I think he could have done a better job in this project.  We all could have.  But I sure don't need him to get into trouble.  I didn't know that these two may be butting heads.  I just didn't want to make waves.  Hell, all I did was ask a question.  It wasn't even my question; it was written on a Post-It note by someone else!

Crap.  First there's this party I missed and now getting my boss into trouble.  It was supposed to be a quiet day and it turned into a bad one.  I think this one's my fault.