Addendum To: Even More Fucking Car Trouble

Welp, the mechanic I dropped my minivan off with (for four days) said indeed it was the alternator after all.  Thought the tow truck driver was adamant it wasn't that, but I have to trust these guys.  They got everything fixed by Tuesday afternoon, so I was able to get up early yesterday/Wednesday morning, go to the bus stop, wait an extra 10-5 minutes before my late bus arrived, then finally pick up the van.  I am about $600 lighter in my bank account, but I'm glad that the van is as good as it's ever going to be.

I have come to believe that having two cars at your disposal at all times is almost a necessity.  I need to stay mobile, and if one car is out of service, I will need another to get me around and/or let me have an active social life.  I was scared as hell that my car would break down while the van was at the car shop.  But the minivan is back, and I for one am relieved.

No Tool For Halloween

Week late, but I want to blog post this before I forget.

My usual thing I do for Halloween in order to avoid trick-or-treaters at my house is to go to Hooters and then a strip club.  Since my ATF at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) intimated she wasn't going to work that night and I shied away from going to the downtown clubs because downtown might have been crawling with partygoers, I decided to go to a coffeeshop to just work on my computer.  Those plans got all shot to hell because (and I think I already said this here on WAF) that shop closed early.  I drank a milkshake at the ice cream parlor next door.

But there was one completely different plan I was considering.  The alternative metal legend Tool had its concert that night at the Xcel Energy Center.  It seemed fitting that that group would be playing on Halloween.  Anyway, these guys don't play here every day; what would happen if something happened to one of the band members?  The arena should have been teeming with people who would be out somewhere else celebrating the holiday were it not for the show.  I don't really celebrate the holiday at all; why don't I go and catch them before I regret not catching them, I thought?

I finally decided against it.  For one thing, the cheapest price (bought firsthand) was $70.  And tied into that price is the fact that, well, I'm not a big fan of Tool.  I've heard "Stinkfist" a lot, but I can't say I'm familiar with the band's work.  So ultimately, I don't think I would've enjoyed myself, even if it was an excuse to avoid Halloween celebrants -- even though, come to think of it, I'm pretty sure Tool fans would have come dressed for the concert anyway.

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This is the second time in 2023 I decided not to go to a concert on a holiday.  Fleet Foxes was playing at First Avenue on Independence Day (or Night, as it were).  I think I decided not to go for two reasons: One, I was afraid downtown Minneapolis would be gnarly out on Independence Night; and two, I don't think my parents would have liked me to go downtown on a big holiday, and I didn't want to start a fight with them about going out.

Well, Guess That Explains It

So the plan was to call the mechanic where I had my parents' minivan towed very early yesterday/Monday morning to reaffirm what I wrote on the envelope in which I put my key: I was driving Saturday when all of a sudden the battery light on my dashboard came on; I got to a safe space to park and turn off the car; I tried turning it on again but it wouldn't start; the tow truck driver gave me a jump-start and everything looked good.  I was going to strongly intimate that I think the only problem is that the cables aren't tight enough around the battery posts (and by the way, the battery is only a month old), and I shouldn't be charged for more than the winterizing the cables and battery ... although if they find something else with the van, let me know and I might approve that repair too.

These guys open at 7:30.  I actually woke up before then, even though I had set my alarm for 8.  (It's good to be able to wake up before you are woken up because that way you know your body is ready to be awake.)  I called at 7:45, but I didn't get an answer.  OK, they probably are running a little late.  I go get coffee on my way to work and I call again.  I get voicemail again, and this time I leave a message.  I then wait until around 12:30 to call, and no one is picking up.  I leave another VM, but this time I speak in a passive-aggressive tone because, at this point, I'm freaking the fuck out.

You must have the perception of car repairmen as greasy, skeevy, creepy losers who are always out to rip you off by bullying you into paying for repairs you don't need.  I never got the idea that these guys are that type of people, but why in the hell aren't they picking up their phone on a Monday when they say that they are open on Mondays?  Could there have been an emergency of some sort?  Had the phone system they have somehow broken down?  Did they lock themselves out of the shop?

If, in the worst-case scenario, they suddenly closed permanently, I would be so fucked.  The key I use I slipped into the building.  I can't find the spare key, and I sure as fuck don't want to ask my parents where it is because I don't want them knowing I am paying for repairs to their van.  If I somehow need to pay for a second tow, I would need a key to get into the van so I can help steer the van onto the tow bed.  And, oh yeah, I need a key to drive it, assuming it ever gets fixed.

With my day ruined because my mind was filled only with anxiety over this silent treatment, I had to drop by the shop (for the third day in a row) to see just what the hell is going on.  The van was still there, exactly right where the tow truck driver and I placed it.  I wanted to peer through the windows to make sure all the equipment was still there.  But then I saw a sign on the front door.  They were closed yesterday/Monday as well as Friday because they were on a family vacation.  They return to work today/Tuesday.

Well -- yeah, that makes total sense.  Of course no one would return my calls.  And why's a little family time the matter?  I was in such an angry and yet strung out state when the van got towed on Saturday (I had my alma mater's football Game to watch in the evening) that I completely missed the sign that said the mechanics are taking Friday and Monday off.  Whoops!  Well, at least there's an explanation.

I No Longer Shit Green Shit

Yeah, I know you've been waiting with bated breath about the change in color of my feculent.  Well, it's all normal now.  When the minivan broke down Saturday afternoon and the anxiety that welled up in me compelled me to evacuate my bowels (which I did in a bathroom on the St. Thomas campus, and thank goodness there was a building on campu open), my stool was back to its normal color, of red.  No, I'm kidding, it's the color of poop.  So whether it was diarrhea or an excess of iron or something else, it appears now to be out of my system.  Phew!

Even More Fucking Car Trouble

OK, so that Tommies women's volleyball Match I was going to go to?  Heh-heh -- about that ...

I left the Black Hart to go to St. Thomas when I saw, of all the goddamn things, the scary battery light come on on the dash of my parents' minivan.  I was hoping that this isn't my worst fears coming true.  But as I was driving, the radio died, then the air conditioning.  My God.

And the damndest thing of all this was that I was still somehow able to drive.  I didn't know how long I had, and that scared the shit out of me.  But it helped that I wasn't too far away from campus.  Moreover, I was able to accelerate and brake, even though I was trying to be slow just in case I completely lost power.  But I was able to drive a couple miles.  Got to where I wanted to go, in fact, where I would have parked if, you know, I was going to the Game instead of needing to figure out what the fuck is going on.  I turned into a side street where there was plenty of street parking and turned off the minivan.  Just to be sure, I tried turning it back on, and it was like about a month ago, where the old battery died.  (Hey, have I blog posted about me changing the battery on the minivan?  I don't think so!)

Well of course my plans get fucked.  Thank God I'm with AAA, and thank God for the tow truck driver.  Yeah, this guy seemed kind of weird, but in my experience all tow truck drivers are weird.  So what?  They are there for you in your most acute times of need.  Well, I had to wait three hours, and that was fucking excruciating, but I was safe.  And even though I didn't get that before-game-watching nap I needed before seeing my alma mater shit the bed (again), I did get home safely after the van was towed to my preferred car shop.

And yet I am still nervous.  I trust the guys I've been to the past two times, but it's been only two times, and it was for my car.  Also, the van is just on the parking lot, and the shop is just 15 minutes away but closer to downtown Minneapolis.  After the game last/Saturday night and after work this/Sunday afternoon, I actually drove by the shop, which is closed on the weekends, to make sure the van is still there and hasn't been vandalized or anything.  It seems to be totally fine as I drove past it, but anything can happen on a Sunday night.

I am thinking that because I tied the battery down with just a wrench, it's the cables that just got a little loose.  The tow truck driver jump-started the battery; the minivan turned on just fine, and the alternator was reading as perfect.  I'm not too proud that I couldn't screw those cables in tight.  But I'm really scared that the mechanics are going to say that it's the alternator, or it's the starter, or some other lie.  I love getting my cars fixed because of the feeling I get of being restored, but there's always a fear in the back of my mind that I'm getting screwed over, too.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -6).  Bounced back from getting swept at Ohio St. by sweeping a home-and-home with Minnesota State-Mankato this weekend.  Of course ... or is it?  The results are 3-1 at Ridder Friday and 2-1 in Mankato Saturday.  This might be a sign that the Golden Gophers, despite earning the top spot in the survey this screening Week, don't really have "it" this season.  Or, it's a sign that top-flight women's college hockey is starting to flatten and the days of the bluebloods knocking around the dregs of Division I are over.

Who knows?  Tangentially, I don't know where I would place Minnesota-Duluth, a school that has won NCAA titles in the past but have fallen off over the past decade or so.  The U. goes up there for a two-Game set next weekend.

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  It's always satisfying to see the Vikes go into Lambeau Field and leave with a pretty decisive Win -- 24-10, a double-digit victory that is rare.  And yet it feels like a loss because of what the club lost: Quarterback Kirk Cousins, putting together yet another fantastic season after coming off possibly his best season ever, planted his foot to scramble and tore his Achilles tendon.  Obviously, he's out for the year.  And now Minnesota, who had lost three-of-four to start the year but has climbed to a 4-4 record, will have to continue to turn its season around without their steady, once-invulnerable QB.

So backup Jaren Hall will start this/Sunday afternoon at Atlanta.  In filling in for Cousins he didn't look great.  But this is a Falcons team that just changed QBs from greenhorn Desmond Ridder to the underappreciated Taylor Heinicke.  A team that wants to reach the postseason finds a way to beat squads like this, even with a second-string play-caller.  Will the Vikings?

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  On Monday they scored 79 Points in the First Half and led the Hawks in Atlanta by 19 at Halftime, then got blasted by the Hawks 67-34 to go from a blowout to getting blown out.  No team has gone from that big of a lead to that big of a margin of defeat in NBA history.  But when it comes to getting blown out, the Timberwolves seem to have more than their share of NBA all-time records.

The next Game, vs. the defending champion (and undefeated) Denver Nuggets, were coming to town.  Off such a demoralizing Loss that has been so familiar to Wolves fans, we didn't think the Woofie Dogs had a chance.  But you know, there is talent there.  And maybe they recognize how much they fucked up and really, really want to show that they're better than that.  Plus, let's face it, the Nugz don't have to play 100% for this early-season contest.  The added motivation by Minnesota plus the perceived lack of motivation by Denver meant a Game where the Timberwolves raced out to a huge lead and, this time, kept it, defeating the Nuggets going away, 110-89.  I was at the tilt and I was surprised that I didn't see too many Pick-and-rolls with Nikola Jokic and Jamal Murray.  I thought that move was unstoppable for them last Year as they won the championship, but for some reason I didn't see it.  Meanwhile, Jaden McDaniels locked down Murray really, really well, and at some point early in the Fourth Quarter Nuggets Head Coach Mike Malone waved the white flag by pulling Murray.

That Win was nice, but like before, these Woofs have often followed big Wins over really good clubs with bad Losses to shitty teams.  That didn't happen last/Saturday night at Target Center.  Instead, they kept The Bastard New Orleans Jazz beyond arm's reach as they beat them, 123-95.  This squad needs to stack Wins in order to show the world they mean business.  They'll attempt to extend their winning streak, and finish their four-Game homestand, versus Boston tomorrow/Monday and The Bastard Charlotte Hornets Wednesday.  They then begin In-Season Tournament play at Victor Wembanyama and The San Antonio Spurs Friday.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7).  Split a home-and-home with Minnesota-Duluth over the weekend -- crushed the Bulldogs at Mariucci on Friday, 5-1, but lost in a Shootout in Duluth last/Saturday night.  I think the U. has now won only four of the last 19 Matches against the Bulldogs.  I think that's a plausible stat, and I'm still blown away.

At Michigan for two beginning Friday.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4).  My worst fears -- and prediction -- were realized when they got swept at Wisconsin last Sunday afternoon.  It's a bit more embarrassing -- and therefore I sink this club a little lower in this WMNSS -- because that defeat was broadcast on over-the-air TV, namely Fox/Channel 9, right after the early NFL Game.  It obviously mustered record viewership for top-flight women's volleyball, but now the perception for anyone who tuned in is that the Golden Gophers suck.  They might, but hopefully it's just this Year and not, you know permanent.

They rebounded by beating Ohio St. on the road Friday in four Sets.  They visit Northwestern this/Sunday afternoon (this one will not be broadcast on Channel 9), then host ranked Purdue Friday.

#-6: Wild (Last Week: -5).  Can't quite believe the long-term injury to Defenseman Jared Spurgeon would blow such a hole in the Mild's Defense.  They lost both ends of a home-and-home versus The Bastard Colorado Rockies, and started off down 3-0 against The New York Rangers at the X.  But somehow they woke up and came back to take a 4-3 lead in the Third Period, then won in a Shootout.  Unfortunately, they're still next-to-last in The Central Division and face a Week where they're visiting the state of New York: At the Islanders Tuesday, the return date against the Rangers Thursday, in Buffalo Friday.

#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: -2).  It's as though this team and program are stuck in quicksand.  Illinois, on paper, is an eminently beatable foe, and while it was touch-and-go at Huntington Bank Stadium yesterday/Saturday afternoon, they managed to take a late lead.  But then The Fighting Illini scored on a 46-Yard Touchdown Pass with 50 Seconds to go to win it.  Bret Bielema, whether coaching Illinois or Wisconsin, is a perfect 10-0 over the Goofers.  He certainly has made them his bitch.  And by self-dealing his squad a big blow in the dumb scramble for the lead in the Big Ten West (in its last season, BTW, and may God have mercy on its mediocre soul), its another itch that P. J. Fleck and the U. athletic program have to itch.  Yes, this program has never had a higher profile nor achieved as much sustained success before (well, maybe the Glen Mason years, but maybe not).  But no program just wants to reach a plateau of good; you're always striving for a championship-winning team.  Is Fleck the guy to lead Minnesota to that promised land?  Every winnable Game that he loses is more evidence he is not.  And it's really starting to feel as though this relationship has run its course.

At Purdue Saturday.

Should I Go To A Tommies Game When They Suck?

I had thought about going to the St. Thomas women's volleyball Match at noon.  But I wonder if I should go anywhere because it's getting cold out and I just want to snuggle at home, you know?  But my alma mater plays later in the evening, so I can't really cocoon at home, and since I'm going out tonight, I might as well go out today too, right?

I don't know why I didn't check this until this morning; how good is the team.  Turns out, terribly; they're next to last in the Summit League.  That's enough incentive for me not to go.  But then I remembered going to a Tommies men's soccer Match.  I think it was against Lindenwood, and St. Thomas managed to win that one, 2-0, but they were also terrible, but that didn't stop me then.

Add that I could probably make it out to see some EPL Matches at the Black Hart at 10 a.m., and then I can leave early to get to the Tommies gym (which I've never been to), and if they get swept I can get home, eat Arby's, and get my nap in before leaving again in the evening ... well, why not go.  Finally, I should say that I slept really early last evening and I woke up just now all refreshed, so hey, what the hell, I'm going to go.

I Shit Green Shit

So for Halloween, after eating at Hooters (where my food was comped because they were so short-staffed and hey, I loved the waitresses dressed up as a midriff-bearing cheerleader and as sexy Austin Powers -- man, any boys getting served by the latter and seeing her heaving cleavage up close turned into men that night), I wanted to just chill and go to a coffeeshop to work on my receipts.  Unfortunately they closed in the evening, so I went next door to Bebe Zito and got myself the Halloween- (and Rolling Stone-) themed Paint It, Black Shake with black whip cream, sour candy crunch and something called "strawrazz sauce."  I liked it, even though I didn't really like the $12 price tag.  But hey, it's Halloween.

So either the wings and shrimp I ate at Hooters or the shake, or both, did a number on me, because as soon as I got home, I had a bowel movement.  But the freakiest damn thing that's happened to me in a while happened.  As soon as I felt I was done pooping, I wiped my ass and -- don't tell me you never look -- I saw that it was green.  Not your usual brown, but green.  The diarrhea continued through Wednesday morning, and I kept shitting green shit.

I would be scared, uh, shitless if I didn't feel good, but I do.  Well, I'm kind of grumpy, but I usually am, but otherwise I feel fine.  I think my discolored crap is further confirmation of my lactose intolerance.  Anything that has lactose doesn't get absorbed into my system, so I just shit it out.  And maybe because I ate/drank a wild, discolored and Halloween-themed dairy product, my stool came out Halloween-themed as well?

Nature hasn't called since Wednesday.  I haven't eaten any shakes or foods with weird colors since Tuesday night.  I hope I've been able to void the green shit out of myself.  But if I haven't ... uh, I don't know what to do then.  And now that I am about to publish this blog post, I feel something in my digestive system.  Let's hope it actually looks like poop!!!

My Plans Depend On Others At The Drop Of A Hat

I had planned on seeing my ATF at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) today/Thursday, but she said she might have to postpone because she is trying to see a dentist for an emergency.  I texted her -- oh yeah, I have her phone number -- that maybe we should just postpone regardless till next week, assuming next week would be a good time, but then she said that if she can't get in to see a dentist, then she will work at the club tonight/Thursday night and I can see her then.  So my evening plans, whether I am going out or not, depends on her texting me -- hopefully -- that she either gets to see a dentist or doesn't.  So I either change into my porno pants, get cash at the ATM and drive my parents' minivan down there, or I make this a night in and work on eating more of the food Mother froze for me.  Either way, I have plans.  I just don't know which plan I will be executing, and that all depends on a text I am assuming I get during the day.

This is similar to ... well, it's similar to a lot of things that have happened in my life, but particularly Sunday.  I had planned to do a half-day at work because they are backed up there.  I would have started my day at lunch, did my three or four hours, probably got something to eat again, then snuggled into bed to sleep through the evening.  But my bosses reminded me to text them to make sure there was actual work to be done on Sunday.  My boss (my real boss, the one who is driving me crazy about accruing overtime) did me a solid; as I awoke Sunday morning, he had already texted me that there was no one there to prepare the work for me to do my part of the job, so there was no use going in.  Well, that meant that I could eat Mother's food, have a cocktail and mulch the lawns of the dead leaves that fell on them (didn't think I would be using the lawnmower again after the previous time, but I had gotten obsessed with using the leaves as food for the grass), then have enough energy to go exercise at night.  But that meant not eating out or working, two things I had mentally prepared myself to do when the time comes.

There are always caveats, but these two situations represent times where I am mostly peeved about not knowing what I should or can do.  I have plans if something happens this way and plans if it happens that way, but not knowing which plan I am doing -- and furthermore, not knowing until the day of -- aggravates me.  This is something I need to react to.  In fact, I'm paralyzed unless and until someone, whether it be my boss or my ATF stripper, tells me what's going to happen.  So I'm stuck doing nothing except, well, bitching about my stasis here in my blog.

I Don't Want Any Help!!!

Work yesterday/Tuesday was going along smoothly until, well, what I was afraid could happen did happen.  The new work was substantially light.  However, since Monday was an avalanche, I spent the first half of work yesterday/Tuesday finishing up the work I sent out the day before.

Nevertheless, I was able to finally get my head above water and tackle the new work that came in.  That's what I had been forced to do when I started off in The Fourth Department feeling totally lost and helpless.  I learned to fend for myself, and now I feel like I am in control of whatever comes my way.  That takes time ... overtime, and thus money.  But I feel like if I were left on my own to figure this out, don't take that independence away from me.  The time to step in was when I felt like I needed help.

And still my boss didn't like it.  You see, even though what came in yesterday/Tuesday was a mere trickle, he had my supervisor do some of it.  And she did it while I was at lunch.  Mind you, I would feel undermined even if I were sitting at my desk and she came up and told me to give her what I planned to work on.  I really think it was a matter of timing; my boss e-mailed my supervisor telling her to do the work, and she went to my desk and just grabbed the forms, and I just so happened not to be there.

Still, that stings.  I wouldn't have felt good about it, but if she did this on Monday (and she can't because she doesn't work Mondays), I would understand because there was a lot of work.  But by making this decision, I take it as my boss not leaving me alone.  And once again, overtime is the issue.  He also e-mailed me (while I was at my late lunch), um, "encouraging" me to leave before my eight hours are up if I can.  He must be getting his chops busted by his higher-ups, but that doesn't mean he has to take responsibilities off of my plate in order to shove me out the door.

My boss might not be happy, but with end-of-day duties and e-mails and one big phone call that came in, I lingered at work longer than I initially thought I would.  Still, based on how urgently I felt he wanted me to leave, I left 35-40 minutes short of a regular work day.  I would have stayed more than eight hours if I was the only one to do the work that came in, but it wouldn't have been like the two extra hours like it was on Monday, so what's the big damn deal?

I don't want any help!  I want to do it by myself!  And I have worked too damn much for too damn long to have OT taken away from me, goddammit!