Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Another Series Of Unfortunate Events

When it rains, it pours, literally. Funny, or not funny, how minor annoyances, when they are grouped together, exponentially multiply your problems and your aggravation.

I was "working" at the U. knowing that the rain was coming in the evening. But around 4:30, walking to my car, it started raining extremely hard. I had no umbrella because why do I? It wasn't supposed to be raining till the evening. So I sprinted to my car, unlock the door and fling it open. And I flung it open so hard and so far that my door got stuck in the ground alongside where I parked the car. I'm in the seat and I'm trying to close my goddamn door but I can't. And it's now pouring buckets outside but I'm trying my hardest to get this door out of this rut, but I can't.

So I pull really, really hard and I hear this loud noise. Uh-oh. I look at the bottom of the door. I remember, or at least I think I remember, that part of the stripping down there tore off and some of it was loose, and I figured I just tore apart the rest of it. I finally push away some of the ground underneath the door and work the door back and forth until it closes, but now I have to open it again to see if I didn't break my door. But remember, it's still raining very, very hard outside. So I have to get up, open the back seat, grab the umbrella and open it so I can bend down and inspect my door. But that's the bad thing about operating an umbrella: If you are using an umbrella, that is the only thing you can do at that time. You can't multitask with an umbrella. You can't, say, inspect a door and use an umbrella at the same time. I tried it, and all I did was allow myself to be rained on to the point where the overshirt I was wearing was drenched through. I'm glad I was wearing a t-shirt underneath, otherwise I would've unwittingly volunteered myself for a free wet t-shirt contest, and I always charge for something like that.

What I saw was a hell of a large divot of grass stuck under the door. As I tried to scrape it off (and get my pants and back wet in the process) I saw a little daylight within the door. I didn't know that a door consists of two parts put together. And after further fucking around, I snapped them shut, I think.

Today, before I see the Twins game, I'm going to have to see if I have to push in other parts of my driver's side door. And I don't know if I should, or if I'll be able to make sure that, I'm not trapping any grass inside the door. And what if I see damage that I can't fix? And all because the weatherman got the forecast wrong, and I didn't grab my umbrella, and I had to park against the side of the street, and I flung my door open too far and too hard, and I pulled it too hard when I wanted it closed, and it was too rainy for me to see if there was any permanent damage. A cascading goddamn series of failures.

Oh, and on my way to driving up my driveway to my house, I heard a loud "crunch" sound in the back of my car. Is it breaking down again?

And oh yeah, tonight I saw a mouse run through my room. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My life fucking sucks.

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