The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1). I honestly don't know why or how I've got these teams in the order that I do. There are a lot of drawbacks to each team's weeks, debits that should bring them down to the bottom of The WKMNSS. Take the Woofie Dogs, for example. The roster didn't have too much time to mourn the loss of Kevin McHale before two of them were traded away to the Washington Wizards for the fifth pick in the draft and three stiffs. (I should've known these two teams would make transactions with each other as soon as Flip Saunders became the head coach in D.C.). I still wonder why they brought in Mike Miller and considered him to be the three-point secret weapon in the Kevin Love/O.J. Mayo deal only to deal him a year later. And although the Wolves are still getting the short end of the Randy Foye/Brandon Roy trade, I saw enough of Fourth Quarter Foye to think I was wrong about him not being able to hack it in the NBA.

But then I remembered: McFail did these trades, and he's no longer there. I still question the logic behind Tuesday's trade, but I suspect there are some PR motives behind it -- namely, the sooner new GM David Kahn can distance the new regime from the old one, the better. And I have to admit, that ain't a bad idea. Unfortunately, they now hold four first-round picks in what many people believe is the weakest draft of the Modern Age. (Plus, they have two second-round picks. How can you bring in six guys onto a team at once?) Who do they draft? Hasheem Thabeet is solidifying as the second guy to go, to Memphis. The T-Wolves want to move up, but they're not willing to give up both the 5th and 6th picks. So will it be Ricky Rubio? James Harden? Tyreke Evans? Stephen Curry?

What I'm kind of ashamed of is, even though none of these guys scream "great pick!" to me -- I'll give even chances that no one drafted this year, not even impending top pick Blake Griffin, will be an above-average player -- I'm getting more and more intrigued by who they'll choose and even what they'll do. All this wheeling and dealing is fun! And in the end, I guess that's why I'm putting this team on top.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -3). Well, um, these guys are fucked for the season -- no wonder why they're called the Minnesota Jinx. Coach Jenn Gillom was right: Seimone Augustus tore her ACL last week and is gone for the year. Not like they were going to win the WNBA Championship this year, but losing their best player could be the death knell for the franchise, not just the season. And Friday they played like it, losing at Seattle by 28. However...

Because I'm lying to my parents I was in "class" on Tuesday at the Lynx game. They have this tradition where the whole crowd stands up until they score a basket, and every time I've gone it takes them an inordinate amount of time to get that basket. The Lynx scored quicker this time around, but they still finally scored about 75 seconds in. But then they started hitting their shots and tenaciously going after the ball on defense. And who spearheaded the team's 12-point win, the first time I've ever seen the Lynx kick ass in person? Candace Wiggins. She scored 25 with five assists and three steals. I've seen Augustus play, but from this one game I can see that, if she's allowed, this can be Wiggins' team. For a franchise that has drafted in the Top 5 for several years running, unless you're completely incompetent (ahem, Clippers, ahem), you're going to amass some talent. And that talent finally seems to have come to fruition, with Wiggins, Nicky Anosike, Charde Houston and Kelly Miller. And I don't feel so bad about the team's fortunes, or even its season, anymore.

Now watch them spit the bit hosting Phoenix and visiting Atlanta this week.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2). What the fuck? Twinkies go 2-3 this week. I thought these guys were interleague warriors. Instead, I go to Saturday's game versus Houston and see them cough up a lead fall a Joe Crede fly ball short of snatching victory out of the jaws of defeat. Thank you, Ron Gardenhire, for foisting upon me relievers Sean Henn, who threw the pitch that tied the game and the Michael Bourn homer that gave the Astros a two-run lead, and Luis Ayala, for tossing up yet another gopher ball that Lance Berkman deposited over the right-field baggie that stands as the game-winner. I saw these two when I went to Tuesday's loss to Pittsburgh. Why, Gardy, do you punish me like this, why??? (However, I want to thank y'all for real for finally designating Ayala for assignment. A young dude still has a chance to turn things around.) Worse news: Joe Mauer is now on pace to bat below .400! Even worse news: He'll be on the cover of next week's Sports Illustrated!! Now that's what you call a jinx!!! After finishing up at Milwaukee this afternoon, they visit the strip clubs of East St. Louis the Cardinals in St. Louis over the weekend to finish interleague play for the year, then stay in Missouri for three at Kansas City.