Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Another Seinfeldian Day

Woke up at noon. Wanted to finish up my previous blog entry and a strip club review. I also wanted to eat at the Five Guys burger shop that opened up. I really wanted to get there before 1, but my writing hung me up till I got into my car at 12:50, and Five Guys is in Edina, at least 20 minutes away.

I get to where I believe Five Guys to be. But I can't find. Damn, I should've written down the address. I thought it was past this mall called Southdale, and it was, but I couldn't find it. I went down as far as I thought it'd be than slowly double back, taking right turns into a series of parking ramps and high-end strip malls. I even got stuck waiting for a city truck blasting gravel into pot holes to cross through an intersection. Why the hell can't that shit wait till after evening rush?

I finally found the place going back the other way. There was a huge sign on a side of the building on the side of the road that said "FIVE GUYS" in red letters but it wasn't lit up and it was next to an equally large sign also in red letters. And there wasn't any other signage anywhere. You'd think that for a burger joint that wants to make a splash, they'd make damn sure a person who heard about these guys through President Obama's burger run would pull out all the stops to make sure everybody knew where they were located. Whatever.

I parked at a ramp. It was the ramp next to the building/development area, so I had to walk down stairs and then around the back of the restaurant, where it just so happened I ran into a Five Guys worker dumping boxes at the dumpster. As she was going through the back door, she looked back. I smiled at her -- she could be the one getting me my fries -- and I made way for her and the door, and I slipped and swung my left ankle stepping onto the edge of the sidewalk and the rocks right next to it. I hate it when I don't look cool. And it's not my fault.

Food was good, but I don't know if it's worth $8.50. The hamburger was messy, and when I took a bite, the condiments spilled out from the back. I hate that; I should stop getting so many things. Fries were soggy, but there were a lot of them. And the free peanuts were a nice touch. It was kind of busy and noisy, but I still don't know how the otherwise courteous guy taking my order mistook me saying "hamburger" for "little cheeseburger." Whatever, I saved 50 cents.

Afterward I wanted to take a drive to Menards to get a price quote on some wood for a new deck my Father wants to put in. And I'll be damned, but when I got to the intersection, there were cop cars and an ambulance there! There was no fucking way I was getting to Menards, and all because of some freak accident that just happened to take place at that location at that time?! See, this wouldn't've happened if I hadn't gotten lost trying to find Five Guys, which wouldn't've happened if they put up more and better signs, for crissake.

Oh, and I wanted to go to AAA and pick up a guidebook and map to San Francisco for that trip in September, but it was too late. If I didn't get lost finding Five Guys, maybe I would've had time. One other thing: I was losing my mind over the fucking heat all goddamn day. Just about went crazy as soon as I stepped outside.

All that means I got home at 3:30 -- way too late for me to do any large amount of yard work. I didn't feel productive at all. But at least I could convince myself that the heat would've prevented me from doing any large amount of yard work even if I had the time.

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