#-1: Vikings (Re-Entry!). I was really afraid the Vikes were going to play poorly. Eric Magini, after all, was Defensive Coordinator for the New England Patriots when they won three Super Bowls. But the Vikings' 14-point win at Cleveland -- punctuated by this Adrian Peterson touchdown run, which is just badass -- pretty much wiped away any fears the Browns could exploit any tendency of Brett Favre to take over the show or lapse in the defense. Although they were trailing at the half, I can't remember the last time this team won a game so handily and with an ease that made every Vikes fan sit calmly in his Barcalounger knowing that this was in the bag. It's just one game, but they look solid. And they should go to Detroit and beat the Lions this Sunday, even though their meeting in the Motor City last year was the closest the Lions got to avoiding their 0-16 season.
And by the way, I also can't remember the last time (OK, maybe Randy Moss) a Viking led the entire NFL in jersey sales, as Brett Favre did between April and August. And he did so only in the ten days after he signed with the Vikes in mid-August.
#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -2). TCF Bank Stadium looks great? TCF Bank Stadium looks new. All new stadia look great. But I still want to go, even though corporate sponsorship of football buildings is an absolute abomination, especially in college football. Anyway, great gutsy win by the Gophers. I wasn't sure they could beat the United States Air Force Academy, but that was some fumble recovery for a TD by LB and warrior Nate Triplett. That, plus his 17 tackles, is the reason this senior -- who was a walk-on! -- is this week's National Defensive Player Of The Week. Great story, great job! And now, a great test, as the Gophs host eighth-ranked Cal and RB stud Jahvid Best. Will this Saturday mark the first loss at The Bank?
#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1). You know, it's not an absolute disgrace to be swept by Washington if the Huskies are ranked third in the poll. But the Gophs are ninth, so I thought they'd be a little more competitive. And goddammit, I had higher hopes for this team. They have to beat the best if they're going to win their first-ever championship. And seeing that their two losses are to Washington and another team ranked above the, Nebraska, I can see even clearer where their place is going to be by the end of the season. I think they have enough talent to make some noise. At least I thought they did. Oh well; they have one more non-conference invitational to go to, this one in Denver, where the main competition is twelth-ranked Oregon. I hope they don't lose to anyone below them.
#-4: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3). G Cat Parkhill's streak of not allowing a goal came to an end in Friday's 3-2 win over UW-Milwaukee, but the team's four-game unbeaten streak came to an end Sunday afternoon in a 1-0 loss to the other Brew City team, Marquette. Their record now stands at 4-2-1. And this is the extent of what I know about the Gopher soccer team. I should go to one of their games this weekend as they host Nevada and Montana in the Minnesota Gold Classic, but I have this viewing party to go to on Saturday and then I have this roller derby thing I think I should go to Sunday, and I don't want my parents to get too upset about me being out all weekend, so maybe I'll stay home Friday night.
#-5: Twins (Last Week: -5). I guess it could be worse. They played all six games this week at home. The Twinkies lose their first two to Oakland then win their last four, including a sweep of Cleveland. (I was at Wednesday afternoon's game -- verdict: Cuddyer has to step up, and the bullpen still has problems.) So they stand 4 1/2 games behind Detroit. They come here for three this weekend, but do you really believe they can sweep? And even then, do you think they can overcome a 1 1/2 game-gap when they have to go on the road for a 10-game, 11-day trip? Especially when they open next week at Chicago? I'm hoping to see some fight in this injury-depleted ball of spit and duck tape.
(By the way, after the series against the Tigers is over, they have three games left at the Dome. Only three! They have this huge scoreboard showing the number of games left, the number of which they remove after the end of the fifth inning. Tony Oliva did the honors today, and when I saw the "6" go to "5," I thought to myself, That's all that's left?!)
#-Infinity: Lynx (Last Week: -4). Well, a season that began with so much promise and energy ends with this fucking cursed team going 14-20 for the season and sitting out of the WNBA playoffs for the fifth consecutive year. They had to finish a game better than San Antonio. Facing a Los Angeles team that was going to finish third no matter what, the Lynx just gave nothing in a 90-61 ass-kicking. And then on Sunday they lost by 22 at Sacramento, a team that contributed to the Silver Stars nailing down the final playoff spot in the Western Conference by losing at home to them two days before. (And they're not that good; on Saturday they lost at home to conference leader Seattle by nine point. Not a way to make a statement. They're 15-19 and they're in the playoffs. What the fuck is this, the NHL?) Don't make excuses about Seimone Augustus and then Nicky Anosike going out for the year because of injuries; they have too much talent to be setting up tee times now. And I'm frustrated.
What began as a fun offensive show -- the Nash/Stoudemire/Marion Phoenix Suns, distaff version -- turned dark once the Lynx's Achilles' heel was exposed: They couldn't play defense. They finished dead last in opponents' FG% and 3PT%. How can you win if you can't stop anybody? I'm surprised that they haven't been folded yet. Seriously, if a WNBA team misses five straight playoffs, in this economy, how are they still around?
There is one thing about the organization, however, that I am very impressed by: As soon as the season was done, they apparently put out a free and downloadable postseason guide. It is very thorough; you can skim through every page and find any statistic or detail you want of the failure of the Lynx's season. (The stats I gave you are on page 60.)
Oh, by the way, Coach Jen Gillom has been named an Assistant Coach for the 2010 Women's Basketball Team. I hope you learn defense from Head Coach Geno Auriemma, Ms. Gillom.
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