You know, when a stripper says something like that, it'd be so goddamn arousing that I'd just whip out my dick right then and there. But there were a combinations of things that led me to react to such a blatant statement tonight with utter revulsion and ridicule.
I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) after seeing Urge Overkill at First Avenue last (Saturday) night -- more on them and the concert later. There she was. I saw her once before. She said two things to me: personal information about her and her family, and the fact that her vagina was secreting bodily fluids because she was aroused.
I couldn't figure her out that first time, which was exactly a week ago. This time, she didn't figure me out. She didn't know who I was and spoke to me like I was meeting her for the first time. This is when I reminded her about what we talked about a week ago. And after verifying that the information I relayed back to her was right, she started right in with, "You wanna touch it, don't you?" The "it" being, of course, her purse. No, her hotbox.
But was that a turn-on? Fuck no! Why? The following reasons:
- Like I said, she didn't remember who the hell I was.
- She totally ignored what I had just said.
- Her talking up to that point were interjections -- "Huh?" "Really?" "Oh yeah!" She couldn't hold a conversation.
- She wasn't great-looking. OK, she was kind of ugly. It's not as if she's totally heinous; she's blonde with a decent body and decent tits. She's the kind of girl you'd see here. But she ain't model hot.
Very few people follow through when the say, "Maybe I'll come see you when I get down from the stage," but dammit, she did. And she kept on going with the come-ons, even though I wanted to switch the conversation over to the concert. One time I turned my back toward her to show the guy who decided to stand right in front of me, and she groped my ass. Normally, I'd like it. But because this is all she talked about, and that she seemed to be talking through me instead of to me, I find it to be highly annoying.
Then, after I got done spinning my tale (long-winded it was, but it was somewhat intentional because I kind of wanted her to buzz off), she asked me, out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" I was thinking, get the fuck away from me, please! But actually I started into my fantasy of getting fucked in the ass by a girl with a dildo. She was so riveted because as soon as I closed my mouth she said, "My pussy's throbbing." Goddammit, did you not listen to a fucking word I just said?!?!?!
So I just got straight to the point and said I didn't want a dance. She was very understanding over my refusal, even though I didn't mind getting a dance from the right girl (which I didn't tonight). And right before saying goodbye, she said that, yes, her girl parts were still hot. Oh, and the reason that she seemed kind of out of it was because she had eaten a pot brownie.
Right before I left I saw her playing one of those electronic games to pass the time. I wonder if her pussy was wet then.
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