Wednesday nights may be the most variegated TV watching night of the week for me. I have become a fast fan of ABC's Wednesday night comedies, specifically the family-friendly The Middle and Suburgatory. I used to take a break for a half-hour, (for some reason, even though I know Modern Family is a quality show, I can't get into it. I tried once a couple months ago, but it was the episode where the father learned that his oldest daughter, played by Sarah Hyland, is sexually active. Now it's reality, but it kind of ruined the image of what I think the show should be. Then again, it gives me an excuse to look at bikini photos of Hyland [as well as Ashley Tisdale, both of whom are the new spokesmodels for Ocean Pacific, a brand name that's a blast from the past but I guess is still doing swimwear] and masturbate, but that too reinforces the fact that Modern Family is not the wholesome show it sets out to be) before going on to the arch yet funny Happy Endings, but that was before America's Next Top Model came on. I finish that with the last standing iteration of Law & Order, namely SVU, then I continue on with the news, then late-night, then Internet, then overnight news, then I'm done.
That was the plan last night, getting some hardcore TV watching in, which is something I don't do a lot anymore, so those statistics saying that Americans watch, like, 50 hours of TV a week doesn't apply to me, even though I'm trying. But today I was tired after coming home from work. For the past week my parents would harp on me to shower before eating, but for some reason Father was talking to the local utility -- are they selling the house? -- and Mother was busy cooking. Moreover, I had a bowel movement, a long one. So after he got done with his conversation, it was time to eat; Father called me while I was still in the bathroom. Thanks for the privacy, pop. At least neither paid attention to the fact I took a shit instead of a shower.
After eating I felt I had to go again. So not while was I tired, I was exhausted from all the excreting I did. I was afraid I was on the throne so long I missed the beginning of The Middle. But today I had impeccable timing: My watch said 6:57.
And then I thought, Well. ... Man, I was really, really tired. As much as I wanted to watch TV, the prospect of sitting on my chair that isn't long enough in the back to rest my head for three hours didn't appeal to me at that moment. But I wanted to watch TV. So I made myself a deal; I was going to rest my head for about 30 minutes and, unfortunately, punt The Middle. If I'm still up, that means I don't need to rest and I'll watch TV. But if I pass out, well, hey, I need to sleep.
Well, despite hearing Father yell at Mother from the hallway outside, I did manage to fall asleep. I got up at a quarter past midnight, totally missing all my shows as well as the Washington Capitals' overtime win and series upset over the Boston Bruins. I'm particularly bummed I missed hearing that online, as well as all the shows. But, hey, I need to sleep.
Now to finish this blog post up and try and go to sleep. No use getting five hours of sleep if I last slept at midnight. I'll be dragging all fucking day.
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