Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  You cannot evaluate the strength of an organization's draft picks the day after they're picked.  And I have no idea who most of the people drafted after the first round are; that's kind of because I doubt the value of anybody picked after the first round.  But because of the trade they made hours before the NFL Draft, and based on all the chatter pundits have spewed so far, it looks like the ViQueens are considered to be one of the winners, and Rick Spielman is considered to have made an exquisite executive masterstroke.  You don't say that a whole lot about the Vikes, let alone saying that at all, so the rare universally admired work by Spielman is recognized on the WMNSS with the top bunk.

I don't know how Cleveland thought the Vikings were going to trade the third pick overall to Tampa Bay; the Buccaneers did not have the draft picks the Browns have.  And then figure that Cleveland had no reason to move up.  The Browns were intent on drafting Running Back Trent Richardson; the Vikes weren't going to draft an RB because they still have Adrian Peterson, and I can't believe Tampa needs an RB when they have a productive LeGarrette Blount.  I can only chalk up the Browns' inexplicable swapping of adjacent first round picks, and then throwing in 4th-, 5th and 7th-round picks, to paranoia.  To move down one spot and get the guy they wanted all along, USC Left Tackle Matt Kalil, they got three extra selections.  Again, I am unsure if the guys they got out of this trade will amount to a hill of beans.  But better to have them than not have them, and therefore Spielman is lauded as a genius right now.

And give credit where it's due; it looks like Spielman drafted correctly.  Yes, Morris Claiborne and even Oklahoma St. Wide Receiver Justin Blackmon would have filled big holes.  But think of the public backlash if the ViQueens instead chose either a cornerback who failed the Wonderlic or the best player at a position not considered absolutely vital to win a title.  There would have been a fucking riot at the team's official draft party at the Dome.  With Kalil, assuming no shocking injury happens in his career, this is a set-it-and-forget-it pick; Minnesota is now good on the blind side for seven years, at least.  Those who think they should have picked Claiborne of Blackmon instead have very good points.  But this team blows; they need an upgrade just about everywhere.  And it's very hard to pass up on the peace of mind that comes with a superlative left tackle who does his job quietly and thus very well.

I don't know much about Notre Dame Safety Harrison Smith, whom the Vikes picked after trading up with Baltimore to get into the back of the first round.  I'm skeptical that he's the second-best safety in the draft because he's white, but that's racist.  Note that with the rest of their haul, the franchise selected two guys from USC (yay! -- and by the way, the second Trojan is Tight End/Fullback Rhett Ellison, who said he was shocked he was drafted at all and talked to the team over the phone in tears), two guys from Notre Dame (they're a rival, but respect for the institution), and two guys from Arkansas (no reaction).  But they drafted ten new guys to replace the dregs they had on their 3-13 squad last year.  Now about that stadium. ...

#-2: Swarm (Last Week: -1).  You know, I feel bad for putting the Smarm second this week.  They did nothing wrong; in fact, their 16-13 victory over Colorado Saturday at the Xcel Energy Center established some really important milestones.  But really, if the Vikes do something notably positive, they get the advantage.

But let's nevertheless chart all the good things that happened Saturday.  They have, by the hammer of Thor, momentum; has this team ever won four games in a row?  They rally from below .500 to finish the season 9-7, their first winning record in four years.  They have recorded the most wins at home, six, also since 2008.  And, not for nothing, the number of tickets distributed topped 10,000 for the first time all season.  Such are the benefits of winning.

So now they head to the NLL playoffs, seeking their first postseason win ever.  They will have a rematch with the Mammoth next Saturday, this time in Colorado.  But that team has none of the mo the Swarm have; not only did Minnesota finally beat the Mammoth for the first time this year, they gave them their fifth loss in a row ... and this is all after they began the season 11-0.  They have to be a team in disarray, which has got to be good for the Swarm.

#-3: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  Ah, more home cookin'.  They lost the series at Michigan St. with a ten-inning, 5-4 loss.  But after beating North Dakota St. 11-7 in Fargo Wednesday, they have taken a pair of one-run games against Iowa at the Metrodome, Saturday's coming on a game-ending (I refuse to use the word "walk-off," it's stupid), bases-loaded walk.  Although they're 26-19 overall and third in the Big Ten (I think) with a 9-5 record, I refuse to believe they're a serious tournament at-large candidate with a 2-6 road record.

They play the Hawkeyes Sunday afternoon for the sweep.  On Tuesday there's a very special game against St. Thomas; it's the very last game at Siebert Field before it's condemned, closed down and turned into something else.  They then begin playing their last home conference series against Penn St.  The middle game on Saturday will be the annual Target Field game.  Because my friend is from the area, we're probably going to go.  The Gophers should play all their games there.  They can figure it out.

#-4: Twins (Last Week: -3).  You know, a part of me wants the Vikings to move, and I want one of the legislators who refuse to vote for the spending bill that gets the Vikings' new stadium built to say that they're voting no because he or she said yes to building a stadium for the Twins and they got burned because the team now sucks shit only three years after moving into Target Field.  This team, the way they're playing now, deserves the universal, overreacting disgust football fans would feel because this organization failed to live up to their promise of staying competitive once Minnesota taxpayers ponied up hundreds of millions of dollars to a new building they said they needed to stay competitive.

This week, one in which they lost all five games they played, they have become Major League Baseball's slumpbuster, the fat chick out-of-luck guys on Spring Break settle on fucking just to say they fucked someone on Spring Break.  The Boston Red Sox, a team in freefall whose manager, Bobby Valentine, looked weeks away from being canned in his first season on the job, came into Target Field and swept the Twinks.  Two of the games were one-run games.  They then started a series with the Royals at home on Friday and lost 7-6 when closer Matt Capps gave up the game-winning run, a homer.  That broke the tie between them for the bottom of the American League Central.  Not only is the organization the worst team in the division, they are the worst team in the A.L.

What they need is a rainout -- and they got that Saturday.  Rain (which left the area a few hours after the game was supposed to start at noon) postponed the game till June 30, which will now be a split doubleheader.  At least they didn't lose.  But they'll trot their asses out Sunday afternoon against Kansas City before going out west to face the Angels and the Mariners.

#-Infinity: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Well, for a season that started with so much excitement and promise, and a possibility that they could entertain a spot in the postseason, the final week, where they choked away a huge lead to Golden State and then mentally checked out in the season finale against Denver (both games at home, by the way), made it feel like they were back to Square One again.  That's not true; they have a bona fide star in Kevin Love, their Point Guard of the future (read: 2014) in Ricky Rubio, a competent back-up in Luke Ridnour and a promising big in Nikola Pekovic.  But the fact remains that they lost 13 of their last 14 games and still have not won a home game in April since 2008.  Can you fucking believe that, a home win in April last happened four goddamn years ago??

What may be most heartening about the Woofie Dogs' rise from oblivion is the Head Coach.  After the embarrassing loss to the Nuggets, Rick Adelman seemed really pissed off after getting the feeling most of his players were just half-assing it Thursday.  He sounded like he wanted to fix things.  Moreover, it appeared that he almost relished the work in getting rid of the guys that didn't meet his standards.  Since this team has been shamefully awful for so long, and seeing how this team played much better defense after he said that it was a priority, I think fans are going to side with Adelman, much more than with General Manager David Kahn.

But intention is one thing; execution is another.  "I will have input," Adelman said in the final post-game press conference of the year, "I made it clear that I would when I signed here."  (Maybe I shouldn't be quoting; I have no idea if this is what Adelman actually said.)  While I'm sure he knows who needs to be let go and how to build this team into a winner, I don't know if Kahn is going to follow his advice.  We were lucky to see Adelman and Kahn sitting together at the same table in the day-after autopsy that is the year-end press conference wrap-up; remember, when Adelman was introduced as the new coach for the franchise, Kahn wasn't even fucking there.  I still don't see a line of communication between the two there, even if both want to make this club better.

So if Adelman wants someone or something and Kahn says no, won't Adelman bolt?  Kahn remains Owner Glen Taylor's boy.  I could totally see Adelman tell Kahn to take this job and shove it; he sounded like he liked retirement before he was courted by the Wolves.  That's why he has leverage.  If Adelman leaves, any feeling the populace gets that there is someone intelligent enough to point this organization in the right direction gets stomped to bits, and Kahn, already a douchebag in many eyes, will be tarred and feathered in absentia for fucking up yet again.  In other words: What Adelman wants to fucking do, Kahn and Taylor, let him fucking do it.

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