Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Wild (Re-Entry!).  So far, so good.  They are undefeated three days into this abbreviated, bastardized season.  I put them at 0 two reasons: New acquisitions Zach Parise and Ryan Suter are as good as advertised at least for now; and frankly, it's always a great day whenever The Real North Stars beat The Bastard North Stars.

Taking a quick look at the site's stat page shows that the top line of Parise, Mikko Koivu and Dany Heatley (weird that both Parise and Heatley are listed as Left Wingers) already account for three goals (including the go-ahead goals for both the Wild's wins) and five assists.  At least the #1 line is producing, even though it's early.  Keep this up and the franchise's chronic issue with scoring may be ameliorated.  Also, as far as I know, Suter is doing what he was hired to do: Sop up minutes and defend the opponent's best player.

With the truncated season (48 games in about 3 1/2 months) the games are going to come in bunches.  I think I read that the team has nine back-to-back games this year.  Teams may be as tired after this season as they would in a regular-sized one.  But they get a reprieve this week: They finish off their season-opening homestand tonight against Nashville, then have their first road trip in old-time Norris Division games vs. Detroit and St. Louis.

#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: 0).  What's this I see ... the grapplers actually being behind to a team that is ranked worse than one spot behind them?  That's rare, and it would have been even more dire if the U. lost to Illinois at home.

After eighth-ranked Illinois claimed a decision at 165, the fourth-ranked Goofs were down 14-6.  But thank goodness Head Coach J Robinson back-loaded this year's crew.  His best players are on the heavier side of the weight scale (by the way, have meets always conducted their matches in increasing over by weight?  Could they switch it up once in a while?  Maybe even offer the order as part of game strategy?), and the last four guys all won their matches by decision to pull off an 18-14 victory.  They remain undefeated in the B-1-G, at 5-0.

They continue their three game homestand with a special Saturday afternoon dual meet against rival Iowa.  This has been moved out of the Sports Pavilion and into Williams Arena for the occasion.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  Tickets for the final series against North Dakota as Western Collegiate Hockey Association, at least for the final final game Saturday evening, were going for $350 at scalper sites.  And it was a hell of a series, too.  On Friday, they crushed the North Dakota Nameless 5-1.  Then, as part of Hockey Day Minnesota, they stormed back from a pair of two-goal deficits to deadlock the game at 4.  No, it wasn't a sweep of the dreaded Former Fighting Sioux, but to be able to swipe a point and, more importantly, leave NoDak with a bitter taste in their mouths after being up 4-2 in the third period, it really did feel like a win.

Just as important, the U. maintain a share of the lead atop the WCHA (with St. Cloud St.) and are still #1 in both men's ice hockey polls.  This screening week they finish their eight-game homestand with a home-and-home series against Minnesota-State-Mankato.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  This is how bad the Woofie Dogs are nowadays: Their only victory this screening week, 92-79 over Houston Saturday night, came on the strength of two guys who were signed that fucking morning.  Mickael Gelabale and Chris Johnson scored Minnesota's first 23 points in the fourth quarter to pull away.  Oh, great -- two guys on 10-day contracts are now leading this team???

That win brackets defeats at home to the Clippers and in Atlanta.  The MLK matinee was a particularly loathsome loss: Minnesota was up by 14 at the half, only to choke the game away.  The Dogs have now lost six of their last seven.

It appears the injury bug will pock-mark this season.  Before the pair of signings, there were only eight healthy players on the team.  The rest were wiped out due to injury or the flu.  Hell, even Head Coach Rick Adelman is out because his wife is in the hospital battling a bad illness.  Terry Porter has stepped in the past several games, and if results are a reflection of the coach, Adelman can't come back soon enough.

This week: Home to Brooklyn, then at Washington and Charlotte.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Uh-oh.  There is more to this ranking than a loss to Michigan at home Thursday.  It was the most important regular season game in the Barn in a long time, maybe even decades, but even though the Wolverines showed they are a great team, this was a chance squandered before a national televised audience.  Too many turnovers throughout the game and missed shots around the rim in the second half doomed the squad.

What's worse is the win at Illinois a week or so back.  That win in Champaign opened up my eyes to how good Minnesota could be.  However, the Fighting Illini have since been gashed by Wisconsin and upset by Northwestern.  That win against Illinois looks a lot less impressive since then.  Combine that with the Goofs' losses at Indiana (although they made a hellacious comeback) and the Wolverines, and it doesn't look like this team could be as great as I once they could be.  They're still entrenched in the Top 15 of the polls and 7th in Ken Pomeroy's tempo-free efficiency ratings.  But as a Minnesota fan, I'm obligated to feel that a collapse could come, especially in the Big Ten, considered by consensus to be the best conference in college basketball this year.

This week could be dangerous.  They are on the road to play Northwestern and Wisconsin.  No rest for the wicked.

#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  Wow, what a shitty week for Minnesota basketball.  Only one win between them.  That victory did not come from the Goofs lady ballers.  They lost Thursday at ranked Purdue (a day where their male counterparts lost at home to Michigan and the Woofie Dogs lost at home to The Bastard Buffalo Braves).  Then, in front of the largest crowd to see the team in four years (as part of their "Burst The Barn" promotion), 6,361 curious fans saw the home team get the ever-living shit kicked out of them by Nebraska by 21 points.  They needed to treat this game like Homecoming: Make sure you schedule the suckiest team for that day.  You damn well had better, at least, lose with dignity.  Instead, you go all-in to show off this team, and you attract a crowd to see its worst loss all year.  Why in the hell would they come back after that fucking disaster?

Minnesota, 2-3 in-conference, probably has a record commensurate with their relatively mediocre talent.  They are at Penn St. (finally good after recovering from deposing legendary but homophobic Head Coach Rene Portland) and host Illinois this week.

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