This morning I woke up not to the alarm I set, but to the contractor coming in for the first time this week. I guess he was supposed to come yesterday but he felt sick. And the day before ... hell, I guess he was celebrating MLKJ Day.
I overheard that Mother was still at home but Father was at The Store. Good -- she's a little less of an asshole when it comes to me getting up in the morning. Tried going back to sleep, but by then I was worried about what to do with my day. Go to the library and work on my column/look for a job/research classes to take? Go to the gym and then to the library? Go to the U. and look for classes there? Or go the museum and catch the Chinese terracotta warriors exhibition that will close Sunday?
Luckily (sort of) that decision, which had me tossing and turning as I pushed back my phone alarm from 10 to 10:30, was made for me, when, about ten minutes after the contractor came in, Mother opened the door and asked me, gently, if I was going to work that day. (If it were My Fucking Father, he would immediately harangue me for not waking up when he opened my door.) She needed me to bring My Father lunch because he woke up late (gee, so do I ... where do I get that from?) and forgot to take it to The Store. So, I was up. And the U. was on the way, so I decided to go there for the day.
Didn't know it at the time, but that was the best part of my day.
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When I went to The Store, there were two other cars there. One of them was a Lexus belonging to my parents' only friend, the short, annoying one that looks like a rat. The other vehicle was a truck, and I don't know any associate, business vendor or customer of theirs that drives a truck.
I burst in (while keeping the car running to make it look like I was running late and had to go to work) and Father tells me to put his food (I gave him a call when I hit the off-ramp to get to The Store) in the kitchen. That's where what I presume to be the owner of the truck was. The guy was standing there with a clipboard, looking around at things.
He sure as hell wasn't there to buy something. He was looking around to see either what The Store was worth or what he could tear down. Another sign in the death of The Store.
Mother sending me out to give Father food was a blessing in disguise. It gave me another chance to be inside The Old Lady's shopworn charm. I need to mark Wednesday as possible -- gulp -- The Last Time.
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Oh yeah, their rat-faced friend was there, and he was particularly creepy. After I put the bag of food on a chair, I turn to leave when I see him. And he was smiling at me. He does that often, not always, and whenever he smiles it looks like he's leering at me, the way a sexual predator stares at a kid walking to school.
Worse, this fucker wanted to talk to me. "So you ..." and before he could blurt out something that I didn't want to hear, because most of his talking to me (I wouldn't call them conversations because I rarely engage in a back-and-forth with him and I have never started a conversation with him) either insults me or bores me to death, I finish his sentence: "... I gotta go to work."
First of all, while I say this, he is standing in my way. This motherfucker is standing in my way. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU STAND IN MY WAY, ASSHOLE?!?!?! YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN SO RUDE AS TO STAND IN MY WAY AS I'M LEAVING AS IF I HAVE TO GO TO WORK!!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU GOING TO DO, MAKE ME STAY AND TALK TO YOUR CREEPY FUCKING ASS, YOU COCKSUCKER?!?!?! He eventually stepped out of the way, but I have absolutely no fucking clue why he did that.
I looked back at him in disgust. But there he was, still smiling at me. Why the fuck was he smiling at me? Was that son-of-a-bitch laughing at me face because he knew he got me going? Or is there something else going on? Was he laughing because I said I had to go to work?
Oh my God ... WHAT IF HE KNOWS???
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Really, I had no idea how I was going to "enroll" in a class. I didn't know what class I could take, I sure as fuck don't know the cost, and even if I did know both, where and how do I sign up? And it's crunch time; Tuesday started the first week of classes for the semester, and I have basically till Monday before I miss a class. There is a rule that all students must attend the first class, but they have waived that requirement this semester because of the flu epidemic. I'm sick, however, and besides, I don't think a guy so many years out of rigorous post-secondary education should take advantage of skipping the syllabus.
What do I go back for? I decided on accounting. What I really wanted was actuarial science. During high school study hall I looked at this survey of best jobs to have, and being an actuary was #1. The article interviewed an actuary who listed all of the perks: Steady demand, great pay, low stress, "And if I get fired, I just go to the place next door, and they'll hire me." Unfortunately, the University of Minnesota does not offer an actuarial program. Accounting was the next closest thing, and I have done research saying that accountants will be in demand for the next decade or so. Much moreso than journalism.
But bad luck floored me as I went to this New York pizza place just south of The Store. I was listening to Sirius XM Left and The Stephanie Miller Show. Bad choice; I continued to listen after the show was over at the top of the hour for the news update by Associated Press Radio. Their kicker story: How technology is taking jobs away. The reporter's last sentence lists three occupations robots will take over. I remember two of them. One of them was paralegals, something I have thought about trying from time to time.
The other: Accountants.
If that's the case, why in the fuck would I want to go back to school to do that for???
Honestly, once I heard that in my car, the day just went to shit for me. I was so fucking depressed that I decided to not even try looking for classes. Oh, sure, I went around campus. But that was mostly for the exercise, even though that was a bad idea because the winter wind was whistling across my ears to the point of freezing. I just looked around, saw all these young men and women (especially the women -- coeds are so hot) cramming information in the hopes that will lead to better lives for themselves, and wondered if they knew the cruel world they're going to be deposited into. Guys, robots took my job! They can take yours, too!! And there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it!!!
I checked online and, sure enough, accounting is still an in-demand profession for the next decade or so. But I now have the excuse not to go back to school. Seriously, it's no use.
So what do I do with my time? I don't know. There's not a whole lot I can do now. I tried my ass off, but all I have are dead-in job leads and wandering, expensive educational paths to nowhere. I have nothing to do. And that's all I can do.
Depressing, I tell you.
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