Being Judged At Mini-Med

As if I haven't been disrespected enough at home, I had to face some humiliation at "school" -- all because I decided to eat some loud food.

I don't care if everybody knows it: The "class" I told my parents I'm taking is a seminar open to the public (you have to pay, however) given by the University of Minnesota's medical school, also known as "Mini-Med."  It's a short multi-week (and one day a week) class featuring two presentations by faculty working at the U.  There is a seminar every fall and spring semester, each having an all-encompassing and very broad theme.  The one I'm in is called "Through The Ages," where each week we listen to two topics for every stage of life, increasing from conception through old age.

OK, one of the best parts of these things -- and don't get me wrong, I'm learning a lot of interesting stuff -- is that they offer snacks to eat.  Water and coffee, small candy bars ... and vegetables with dip as well as snack mix -- you know, Gardetto's.  Man, I love Gardetto's.  I don't know how I ever ate them the first time, but once I did, I was hooked for life.  If I could afford to, I'd buy a bag right now.  Oh, and the vegetables are great, too.  I hated eating them as a kid, obviously, but not only do I understand its nutritional value now, I think they're quite tasty.  And since all of this is free, shit, why not stuff my face?

The first two Mondays I had a plate between speeches.  But this past Monday I was able to get there a little earlier, so I had time to begin my night with food.  And I loaded up -- one plate for veggies and one for the party mix, baby!

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Most of the people there, and I'd estimate there's close to a hundred souls looking to dip their toes into a little education, which is great for this beautiful blue state, are old and, therefore, not good-looking.  The only woman I could remember seeing as halfway decent took up a spot on the right side of the auditorium, about a few rows up from where I usually sit.  This past Monday, however, the only free row I could find on that side was one just above the one where she was sitting now, which wasn't her usual spot; it looked like she moved down a few rows.

Whatever.  She had long blonde hair and wore her work badge.  Nothing was coming of it; this wasn't a freshman class where you had half an eye on hooking up with a girl.  I, as a heterosexual male, just noted this.

I start eating.  Hey, I say to myself, this food is loud.  And hey, I continued to say to myself, I don't remember eating so much while the professor is talking.  But who cares, I finally say to myself, my mouth is closed, I'll continue to chow down.

This blonde looks off to my side, once.  It's one of those what-the-hell-is-going-on-there-yeah-it's-exactly-what-I-thought-it-was-but-I-don't-want-him-to-catch-me-looking looks.  I don't remember for sure if that was enough for me to stop eating, or to try and be quiet while munching on the celery and pretzel sticks.

So it's halftime break and, dammit, I can't resist, I get more food.  As I sit back down I see the blonde getting up.  Oh great, I thought, she just saw that I'm reloading on my loud food and decided she couldn't take that shit anymore and is moving.  But then I saw her pick up her coat.  Oh, I assured myself, she's just going to the bathroom and taking her coat with.  Phew!

I quickly looked down to my plate and started eating.  How quickly did I survey that blonde's actions, because as soon as I looked up, she was gone from her seat.  And then I looked to my left.  Sitting there, the same row as I but in the middle section (and in the middle of that middle section) was that blonde bitch, getting the fuck away from me and my attention-getting, concentration-breaking mastication.  She was bothered by my eating, she saw that I was going to continue, and she moved away from me in order to enjoy the Mini-Med.  And if anyone saw, they new that blonde bitch judged me, and therefore humiliated me.

A part of me shrugged it off and continued like I wasn't going to be stopped.  But I was eating during the second presentation and a woman in the row below where this blonde judger was also looked up in my general direction after biting down on some loud food.  I ate a lot slower after that.

The other part of me ... well, the other part of me is blogging about this.  Because it's in my mind.  And it kind of hurts to remember her doing that to me.  And it infuriates me, too.  And so I wonder what the fuck she's going to do on Monday.