Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -3).  Kind of switching things up here for this week.  The University of Minnesota men's basketball team did win two games out of two this week.  But it's the grapplers, whose only match was a 32-6 wipeout of overmatched Michigan St. at the Sports Pavilion Sunday afternoon, that I give the top spot to.  My calcified, boring feeling that this year's roster is no more than the fourth-best team in College Wrestling Nation has not changed.

Can you believe that the regular season is just about over?  Their last game is Sunday afternoon at Wisconsin.

#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Yeah, they won both of their games and they broke a four-game losing streak in the process.  They have stanched the bleeding ... or have they?  A 19-point rout over Nebraska at home fulfilled the Goofs' need to feel masculine again after they fell on black days.  But the U. team closer to reality was their other win, a Super Bowl matinee, three-point squeaker at the Barn over Iowa.  That game kept replaying the same problems the squad has had: late-game mistakes, empty possessions, an inability to grab the ball off opponents' misses, shitty free-throw shooting, no scoring from the bench, turnovers. ...  Only Austin Hollins's end-of-game heroics -- his three-pointer coming off the curl after a time-out, then a strip of the ball and turnover on the defensive end -- saved the Gophers from themselves.

Nevertheless I'm worried about the club's Kenpom.  They are the seventh-most efficient team in the country offensively, somehow, but on adjusted defense they have precipitously fallen to 31st.  Their combined Pythagorean/predictive score is still tenth best, but seriously, if you watch this team close, do you really think they're the tenth best team in the country?

From here on out all Big Ten opponents are rematches from earlier in the season.  This week: at Michigan St., then home to Illinois.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -5).  2-2 for the week.  Well, at least we're pretty good at home (beating Columbus and Chicago).  But the 3-1 loss in Anaheim Friday was so dispiriting, General Manager Chuck Fletcher wasted no time in shaking up the roster: Last Monday, before playing their game against The Bastard Winnipeg Jets, the Mild traded Darroll Powe and Nick Palmieri to the New York Rangers in exchange for Forward Mike Rupp.

Both Powe, who was once with the Philadelphia Flyers, and Palmieri, who came over from New Jersey, were going to be role players with the team, but their time had run out.  Fletch wanted Rupp because he was physical, not because he can score.  (Note however that neither Powe nor Palmieri were scoring either.)  Both Fletcher and Head Coach Mike Yeo have been disappointed with the team's board play, and Rupp's presence gives the team the size they haven't had ... well, ever.  Also, Rupp's a tough guy, and he'll be the fourth-line goon for the team, à la Chris Simon -- and hopefully he'll stick.

One guy isn't going to change the fortunes of this team.  Charlie Coyle, a big-time prospect the Wild traded for last year, is also beefy, and his call-up reminds me of the 1996 Twins, when they finally called up Jason Bartlett and put him at shortstop and installed Nick Punto at third full-time.  That team, I think, won the division.  I don't know if the Mild will do the same.  But if you want to be charitable, this might be the moment where the organization sees all these young'uns down in AAA Houston and doesn't want to rush them into the big time, but the big-league team has been playing so awful that there was no point in waiting, so the front office decided to accelerate the youth movement, cleared the dead weight, and just hoped they wouldn't be in over their heads.

Mikael Granlund was an exception.  He was supposed to be ready this year.  Instead, he has sucked, and Yeo reacted by chucking him into the fourth line.  Devin Setoguchi, too, and since he's a veteran, he is in mortal danger of being traded.  A Mild who is already screwed is Matt Kassian, who I believe was once a prospect.  Mike Russo of the Star Tribune of Minneapolis spoke with GM Fletch, who said it was basically the end of the line with him already.

These moves were threats: Play better, win games, or your ass is gone.  They did play better in Phoenix last night, but they lost, 2-1.  Zach Parise was the only player who scored.  In fact, Parise seems like the only player on the team who has scored all year.  Everybody played better, especially Granlund and Setoguchi, but no one's putting the biscuit in the basket.

As a result, the team held a players-only meeting after the loss.  Will that self-lighting a fire under their asses help with games at home against Vancouver and Nashville, and a roadie at Calgary?

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -7).  I don't want to diminish their 15-point win at home Thursday over Michigan, but then they had to travel to Nebraska Sunday.  And the Lady Huskers paid the Goofs back for the 21-point ass-kicking they gave them at the Barn two weeks prior by beating the ever-loving shit out of them by 24.  They broke their four-game losing streak, but the team has now lost five of their last six.

Yeah, Rachel Banham's a good story for reaching 1,000 points.  But how long can we just go through the motions like this?  If letting go of Pam Borton means we lose Banham too, honestly, I'm OK with it.  The rebirth has to start some time.  Home to Iowa and at Illinois this week.

#-5: Swarm (Last Week: -2). Saturday was their first game of the year not decided by a single goal.  It was a six-point ... yes, you guessed it, loss at Colorado.  Smarm Head Coach Joe Sullivan said the scoring drain was attributable to the unavailability of Forward Callum Crawford, who was out with a hamstring injury.  Nevertheless I'm not worried because 1) the season's early and 2) eight teams get into the playoffs and there are only nine teams in the National Lacrosse League.  Sure, the Smarm are currently tied for dead last, but again, the season's young.  They host Toronto Friday.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  Since it was snowing Saturday night (goddamn, it has snowed the last four nights ... I don't remember the last time that's happened) I was able to see the Woofie Dogs play New Orleans at Target Center on over-the-air TV (thank God for sports games still broadcast on free TV!!!).  And they looked fantastic in beating the hell out of The Bastard Charlotte Hornets, 115-86.  That broke a six-game losing streak.  Sadly, that's sandwiched by losses to both Los Angeles teams and Portland.  And all of those games happened at home.  That, plus the facts that they've lost seven-of-eight and twelve-of-fourteen is why I put this team, which has some talent, below the Smarm even though the lacrosse club lost its only game of the screening week.

They keep saying Ricky Rubio was finally "back" last night against Portland.  He's pulled off some fantastic assists and trick moves.  But if he were all the way "back," they would win games against teams better than they are right now.  They finish their six-game homestand with matches versus San Antonio and New York, then road games in Memphis and Cleveland.

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