My Fucking Father was good for a day.  But then the snow came.  The storm, which a week ago was supposed to knock this area on our ass, then was going to swing a glancing blow because it was headed further south, punched us in the mouth -- a few more inches than I thought.

The contractor came early this morning.  Didn't matter; I was so tired after cashing in my free popcorn slip to watch Django Unchained last night I basically went to bed after I got home, so I had a good night's sleep.  I still didn't want to get out of bed at 9, even though I set my alarm for that time.

In retrospect I don't know why I just didn't get up at 9.  Maybe I just didn't want to.  But My Fucking Father decided I would be getting up, even though it was a bit past 9.  I heard him call up from the front door to My Mother to wake me up.  When she called for me, I told her I was already up, like that would mitigate or help things.

So My Fucking Father and I cleared the driveway even though it was still snowing.  That bastard actually got the snowblower working for the first time all winter.  Don't know how he did that, and this might be pride talking here, I don't think it was all that necessary because not only was there not enough to plow (even though estimates were greater than the meteorologists forecast), it's the powdery, low-moisture snow that fell.  Anyway, we didn't talk.  He didn't scowl or yell.  The only time he spoke to me was when I had to tell him the minivan was still running.

I wish things were well between us after clearing the driveway, but it's not, it never is.  I will guarantee you that within the next week My Fucking Father will come down on me about waking up early in the morning, and my fucking God, I can't goddamn stand it anymore.  I WORK GODDAMMIT, AND I WON'T WAKE UP EARLY JUST BECAUSE YOU FUCKING WANT ME TOO!!!  I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE MY DAY THE WAY YOU DO, BECAUSE YOU'RE A ASSHOLE, A CROTCHETY, DEAF ASSHOLE!!!  I think I'll go off if yells at me tonight, or tomorrow night, or the next night, or the next.

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My whole fucking day was ruined.  I had a research study at the U. this afternoon.  Got a $15 gift card from Target for it.  These days, that counts as income.  And yes, I'm going to need to use it.

Needed to do something Saturday night, so I went all the way to the Electric Fetus in order to purchase a ticket to the North Star Roller Girls.  I bought a ticket to a concert last week, and just like then the store tacked on a fee of $1.50, therefore cutting the discount I got for paying in advance to, like, 49 cents.  Add gas for going all the way out to the record shop, and it was a wash, maybe.  Hell, why am I even shelling out money for this?  Can I afford it?

I went to Noodles And Company for lunch -- great food, but twice as much as I would pay at Mickey D's.  Then I got to the experiment.  Fifteen minutes later I was done, and I was, well, lost.  Went to the U. library to read magazines and forget my troubles.  And now I'm here.  I could look for jobs, but I did that all week anyway.  Such a bad day today.

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I just want to be left alone.  Everything is bullshit, yet people won't just leave me alone.  I hate all of this.  I can't even do nothing without feeling bad about it.  Fuck all of this.

Goddamn, I thought I could be fuckin' angry at My Fucking Father for getting on my case this morning, but now I so fucking regret just not waking up and avoiding all of this. ...