#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). In a very bad week for local teams, when no one finished above .500, let's give the top spot to the team that managed to remain ranked second in the polls despite splitting against Wisconsin. The Goofs traded 3-2 games away from Mariucci, but if I had to pick either glass half-full or half-empty, I'll take half-empty because the 3-2 decision they dropped was the Hockey City Classic, the game they played outdoors in Chicago's Soldier Field Sunday. Big stage, memorable occasion, and what they did was fall behind 3-0 to the Badgers. Credit to their offense for almost catching up, but they still lost -- and because they lost outdoors, God and the heavens above got to see it.
The U. had a great chance to re-take the top spot after #1 Quinnipiac lost to St. Lawrence on Friday, but the team couldn't follow up their 3-2 victory in Madison the same night with a sweep in ChiTown. Moreover, they are now tied for fourth place in the WCHA, behind St. Cloud St., Nebraska-Omaha and Minnesota St.-Mankato. Only three points separate Minnesota (and North Dakota, whom they're tied with) from the top, but this shows that their lofty reputation nationwide does not translate to the MacNaughton Cup.
The Gophers' Farewell Tour of the WCHA continues with yet another final series against a bitter rival. I for one have always had a unique, seething hatred of Minnesota-Duluth. Don't exactly know why, although I think that when I was young it always seemed as if the Bulldogs beat the U. They're in town one last time as conference-mates for a series this weekend.
#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -7). What a fucking embarrassment Sunday. They raced out to a, get this, 21-5 lead at Iowa. I saw the score online and heard it on the radio and I thought, Good, this win could cement their spot in the NCAAs.
But then, while I wasn't listening nor paying attention to the score, the Hawkeyes went into a zone. And goddamn, it was as if these fucking Goofs couldn't even dribble the fucking ball. For the rest of the game the club was outscored by Iowa, get this, 67-30. Let me repeat that disparity again: 67-30. The Hawkeyes suck; no one projects them in the field for the Big Dance. And yet they and the U. are tied in the B-1-G standings at 6-7 records.
And yet, somehow, the Gophers still are thought to be in the Field of 64+4. They are slipping, but they are still out of the "Last Four In" danger zone. How and why? At least Tubby Smith, seeing that he has a veteran squad, scheduled extremely hard in his team's non-conference schedule. And since he came out of that portion with only one loss (to Duke, still highly ranked), their RPI is strong and high enough to buoy them through disappointment after disappointment. Only an utter collapse, where they lose every single game from here on out, could shut them out of the tourney, and even then it's still a definite maybe.
It helps the team's cause to eke one out against Wisconsin, whom they beat earlier in the screening week at home in overtime. The game was the Badgers' to win, and yet they bogged down and got stupid, allowing the U. to come back and somehow win the game. Afterwards, Tubby Smith, in an effort to spur his team on through the rest of the regular season (IMHO) did something I've never seen him do: dance:
I should dock the team lower after seeing that. But after they got the shit beaten out of them by 21 points in Iowa City, after they were up early by 16 -- fucking 16!!! -- I have to wonder where did all the good vibes go. You were dancing after a big win and you follow that up with this shit?
Luckily for them, the end of their schedule appears to be favorable. On the other hand, I also thought they could win in Iowa. And they still have to face Ohio St., which got clobbered at Wisconsin (after they in turn lost at the Barn to the Gophers), Wednesday in Columbus.
#-3: Gopher baseball (Re-Entry!). Hey, the other b-ball is back! John Anderson's crew did the same thing Tubby Smith did and scheduled hard, or at least hard to start the year: Three games at #2 (or #12, depending on which poll you're using -- wait a second, how can a team be ranked ten spots from each other?! What kind of a fucked-up disparity is that?!) UCLA.
And I'll be goddamned, they won the first game of their year! They broke open a 2-2 tie with four runs in the top of the tenth Friday. That has to account for something. But the Bruins answered back decisively with -- fuckin' ouch -- wins the rest of the weekend by scores of 14-0 and 14-1. So maybe UCLA underestimated the Goofs and learned their lesson. And maybe the U. remains nothing more than a middle-of-the-pack squad in the Big Ten and an afterthought in College Baseball Nation.
There's supposed to be a sizable snowstorm blowing through Thursday night. It could be so bad that a snow emergency may be called for downtown Minneapolis. That might make the free meters where I try to find a spot to park unusable. And that might preclude me from seeing the team's home opener, at the Metrodome, against Western Michigan Friday. It's the first game of a four-game series there, their home base for the non-con portion of their schedule before they play all of their conference games in the new Siebert Field.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: -3). The good news is the Mild are still only a point behind eighth place in the Western Conference playoff chase. Yet the feeling that this team, while talented, is still at least a year away is becoming reality after a frustrating 1-2 week. They lost both games by a goal (and one of them, at home to The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, was in a shootout), and they extended a streak of games decided by only one goal to five, but it's those close losses that show the club doesn't have that killer instinct, that will to finish off opponents or climb back to force overtime.
But then, goddamn you, Jason Zucker!
I'm a fan of hockey, yet I find it hard to break down plays. But even those not fans of hockey can appreciate what Zucker, a University of Denver product, did there. What speed! Michael Russo of the Star Tribune said he hadn't seen a Wild score like that since Marian Gaborik. Man, if Zucker can be the offensive sparkplug and provide more breathtaking goals like that, the bumps and bruises of witnessing this maddening year may be worth it in the future.
Another thing I could give the squad slack for: They are in the middle of their longest stretch away from the Xcel Energy Center. Starting from the 11th, they are going to play eight of their next twelve games on the road, including the two games they have this week, at Edmonton and Calgary.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). Sorry, I was wrong about no Woofie Dogs participating in All-Star Weekend. Ricky Rubio and, somehow, Alexey Shved were both selected to play in the Rising Stars Challenge, the NBA's rookie and sophomore All-Star Game. They were on the same team -- the winning team, Team Chuck (as in Barkley), which blasted Team Shaq, 163-135.
Maybe those two can go back to Minnesota and tell the team what winning feels like. OK, that's not true -- the Woofs did win last Monday. But they lost their only real game this past week, at home to Utah Wednesday, 97-93. And since they won't play until this Wednesday, when they host Philadelphia, it'll have been nine days since they were victorious. Then again, nine days between wins is something this squad has had a lot of experience in. OK, never mind. The Wolves also visit Oklahoma City and host Golden State this week.
#-6: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -6). On Sunday they played their annual "Pink" game, and unfortunately they were beaten black and blue by Northwestern -- Northwestern!!! -- after leading by one at the half. The worm turned at the midpoint of the second half when the Wildcats, down 49-48, outscored the Goofs 19-5 and never looked back. Final score: 70-63. This pretty much ends any chance the team has of making the NCAA Tournament.
This team is 15-11, so fuck it, this team's boring to even follow. At Ohio St. and home vs. Purdue this week.
#-7: Swarm (Last Week: -2). The Smarm lost at the X to Calgary Saturday night by only one point. The margin of loss would justify placing this team above the U. women ballers and the Timberwolves. So why am I throwing this at the bottom of the WMNSS? It's the way they lost. Well, that and the fact that I saw this shit in person. Plus, I stayed to watch the Minnesota RollerGirls, ranked eighth in the world, get upset by the Old Capitol City Roller Girls of Iowa City, Iowa. One of the people associated with the MNRG said it was their B team out there. If so, wouldn't that be some information that I would like to know? So I'm just pissed, really pissed that I had to see two home teams lose in the same building on the same night. The stench of failure still sticks to me.
This was a total cock-up from the start. Swarm Goalie Evan Kirk was pulled 4 1/2 minutes into the second quarter after allowing the Roughnecks to fire eight goals past him. It's not totally his fault; the defense sucked in front of him, and when Tyler Carlson replaced him, the Smarm somehow got back into a game it had no right to compete in. They tied the game in the third quarter, where they outscored Calgary 8-4 to finish the period at 13.
But -- and this really pisses me off -- they had a power play late in the game but allowed two, two fucking shorthanded goals to seal the loss. If you've never seen lacrosse, one of the conventions you'll see is that once a goalie stops and picks up a shot on goal, chances are he'll fire deep to a teammate trying to outrace the defense on a breakaway. Everybody does this, so what the defense does is quickly change the lines, pulling their offense players into the bench and getting their defensemen out onto the defensive zone. For some goddamn reason, the Smarm are unable to do that, and they were caught flat-footed on breakaways by Roughneck Forward Curtis Dickson twice. They also failed to score on a 5-on-3 power play in the second and gave up another shorthanded goal. Now that I look at the play-by-play, that third shorthanded goal was also tallied in the decisive fourth quarter ... and it was also scored by Dickson. He scored a shorthanded hat trick in the same fucking quarter. What kind of a professional outfit allows that shit, especially at home? I'm looking at a bunch of goddamn amateurs here.
Oh, and by the way, the atmosphere for Swarm games has always been over-the-top, but both the music and the PA have never been more obnoxious than they were Saturday night. But I have to commend the season-ticket holder who was sitting two seats away from me. I didn't really see the reason to stand up every time the club scored a goal, but I appreciate his enthusiasm and hope I didn't dampen his experience.
A home-and-home with Edmonton this weekend: There Friday, here Sunday.
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