Today/Monday begins the tentpole test project of the season: Ten weeks (hopefully) of grading kids' papers from two states. It will also be the start of at least a week of double duty, where I test score during the day at one place, then drive to test score at another place for the night shift. That'll be (hopefully) 12 hours for the week of looking at children's writing and thoughts and going, "What are they thinking?!"
A part of me thinks I'm told old for this shit. I have managed to (I think) double-dip like this in each of the previous four seasons I have scored tests. But the energy I expend to try to figure out what the kid is scratching on the paper and then try to interpret what they mean by those words I finally figured out makes me tired and irritable, and it seems I am quicker to that state of frustration this year. I barely make it through eight hours without losing my mind; a half-day and I might bang my head against the desk until it bleeds.
But then I remember that I spent about $1,300 to fix up my car. And then I remember The Asshole from the flu billing place who yelled at me and think, "You know what? I don't want to go back to that place again." And then I panic about where am I going to find my next meal. So I quiet myself and remember that these two places like me enough to hire me for a job, which means I have to be good at it, or at least not bad at it. Also, test scoring season has a shelf life, and if I pass up days because I can't stand it, it won't come back again.
I'll endure. In fact I caught wind that there may be another project at night that they'll need people for. That might be more 12-hour days, but it'll also mean more money. And right now, that's what I need. Heck, every single minute I need money.
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