Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Expenses Without Receipt

Alright, my car stalled badly this morning -- like, for a full minute.  So I finally have to bite the bullet and overhaul everything that the dealership says needs replacing.  And so as you can tell that I'm kind of bummed and I'm kind of pissed because I'm losing all my goddamn money now, so I'm going to do this EWR now.

Starting from Tuesday, April 7 (because I know I'll have other expenses today and I'll just put them on the next EWR):
  • So my car stalled yesterday after working out, but it made it to Roseville, where I needed to pick up my day planner.  I figured it was best not to drive the car anywhere else before I had to attend this conference call, so I walked all the way to Starbucks for a grande mocha, which I eventually took back to my car to wash down the turnover My Father packed for me for "work."  Thought I got overcharged, but I was wrong.  With tip: $5.
  •  I then was at a crossroads.  I didn't know what to do with the rest of the day.  I had planned on going to the movies because it was Discount Tuesday, but other than Run All Night and, maybe, MacFarland, USA, I really didn't want to go.  Finally I had remembered one thing I could do instead.  There was an English Premier League game, a special Tuesday Night Football, that I could watch between Aston Villa and Queens Park Rangers.  The bar I could go to was at Cedar-Riverside, however, which is notorious for no parking.  So I gave myself an out: I'd go down there (a short trip from the Roseville library) and find a spot.  If I could, I'd spend my afternoon at the pub.  If not, I'd immediately go back up to the movie theater.  Seeing as it was a weekday, I did find a spot.  I just wish I didn't dilly-dally at the library; I missed the start by five minutes.  Nonetheless I parked myself there and got a Cuvee de Jacobins, and I have to say it may be one of the most distinctive beers I have ever tasted.  And it was fantastic.  Too bad it was expensive as fuck.  With tip: $10.
  • Going to the game allowed me to come home early.  That morning Mother asked me when I could come home early so I could help her learn how to logon and print out printouts at the library.  Wouldn't have been able to do that if I were at the movie.  So we went (in my parents' minivan; I was going to volunteer to use my car, even though I was worried it might stall, and I think it turned out to be a good call).  Mother said she needed a replacement card; turns out she hadn't signed up at all and so she was issued a brand new one.  She was printing out some real estate stuff: 40 cents.
  • On Monday the 6th I started my day going to Annelace Coffee for slow drip.  With tip: $3.75.
  • I went there because it was on the way to the U., where I had a study to participate in.  Haven't done one of these things in a long time.  Glad I got paid cold hard cash as soon as I was done, which was less than half an hour.  An Infusion of: $20.
  • From there I stopped by Buffalo Wild Wings to take in Opening Day, and then it was off to this new mechanic (the place where I have left the car now -- fucking car) because one of the mechanics there saw that the radiator was leaking.  I don't know how bad it was, but when I parked at the U. I saw smoke coming out from under the hood.  When I popped it open, I saw green stuff just about everywhere except the ground.  I guess I could have kept driving it, but my heart probably would have jumped out of my chest like it was the entire drive there.  Anyway, I was going to take the bus as the radiator was getting replaced, but the mechanic recommended that I just walk over to the bar.  That's where I stayed for the next couple hours.  Tater tots, beer and tip: $9.25.
  • The guy said it'd only take a couple hours.  But when I walked out of the bar and over to the shop, he gave me bad news: The new radiator was defective.  He had to ask for a new one.  Great, a couple more hours.  Luckily, while I was wandering around trying to figure out what to do, I stumbled upon the bus stop, and it just so happened that the next bus to the nearest shopping mall was two minutes away.  I was going on the bus after all: $1.75.
  • And all I did at the mall was walk around.  They're remodeling; it didn't look that shabby in the first place.  I was bored, so I got myself an Orange Julius for the first time in a long time.  With tip I think -- I think -- the total came out to: $4.25.
  • Sunday, April 5: I left the house early to take in some coffee at the U. before the softball game.  Went back to Espresso Royale, a place I once vowed never to return because the guys there were assholes.  But I had no other coffee place to go (although I didn't see that a new Starbucks has come to the area).  Luckily for me, the guy who made my mocha was nice and professional.  With tip: $4.
  • The softball game was a disaster.  I'll talk about in the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Program, hot dog, Coke: $10.25.
  • I still had some time to kill before returning for dinner, so I thought it would be a good time to try this place called Jersey Mike's, a new sub chain that had pretty high marks on Consumer Reports' survey last year.  They have a way of dressing sandwiches called "Mike's Style" which involves a light of red wine oil, which is very tasty but got everywhere.  Also, their "mini" is more than four bucks, and I don't know if that's a deal, as good as it was.  Had a Pepsi to go with it.  With tip and it comes out too: $8.16.
  • On Saturday the 4th I went to a different Caribou, one closer to my workout place.  Not bad; this one has a row of chairs so pathetic losers like me could catch up on alumni stuff in peace.  Mocha plus tip equals: $4.50.
  • Friday the 3rd ... went to my regular Caribou.  The barista I have known there for years wasn't there.  Hope she's OK.  Mocha, cooke, tip: $5.62.
  • So Thursday the 2nd was the day I took my car into the dealership.  Since I had a loaner I could take it anywhere, and so I took it to the Mall of America, clear on the other side of town.  There were some nice babes at Hooters, but I decided it was time to finally try the Pizza Studio.  The pizza I got was very thin, but the cheese was distributed evenly and it looked nice.  I would try it again ... but it's expensive: $8.53.
  • I think I found a quarter at the parking ramp at MOA.  An Infusion of: 25 cents.
  • Then I went to the library to wait for the dealership to diagnose my car.  I used the time to fill out the surveys you get when restaurants give you their receipts.  I had to print a $5 off coupon after filling out the Hard Rock Cafe survey: 10 cents.
  • That afternoon I hastily arranged a meeting with ****e*, who was around the area of the dealership.  She may have saved my bacon when it comes to paying too much money for the car, even though, well, I'm paying too much money for the car now.  We had some sexytime; both that and her helping me will cum out on another blog post.  Oh, she kind of ripped me off, too: $140.
  • Alright, it looks like I have receipts for all the expenses from then on back to Saturday, March 28.  That was *a***'s party, where my ATF, ***e*, was there to jerk me off and further pay me back for getting that game console for her son.  But when I arrived at the party ***e* was busy, so I got a couple dances before I went upstairs.  I had not gotten dances from either one, and so I really wanted to whip it out in front of them to see what they would do to it.  Well, I could expose myself to the first one because there was another guy in the room where all the lap dances were being held, but I had all the room to myself for the second girl.  With her back turned to me, I took out my main vein and plopped down.  And like it was nothing at all, she started jerking me off.  I love the element of surprise, so much so that I had to tell her to stop, otherwise I would blow and there would then be no reason to go to ***e*.  I was able to control myself, but the bottle was shaken so much that ***e* had little trouble wanking me to completion.  Dances for these two first-time girls plus cover came out to: $55.
  • I celebrated my triumphant sexytime by going to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place for a milkshake.  With tip: $3.75.
  • On Thursday the 26th I went to ********a's party.  I have to rethink it because she was, once again, drunk out of her goddamn mind.  I wasn't worried she was going to do anything stupid, but I don't find it fun to see her so out of control.  At least she didn't notice that I whipped it out on the two other women I got dances from.  Neither of them wanted to play, however.  I least I won't get into trouble; hell, I don't think ********a even knew I was there.  With cover: $50.
  • Monday, March 23 -- Mother wanted me to type and print out a letter to the city.  That's one of the reasons I decided to eschew the University of Minnesota women's hockey championship game the previous day: I was writing it.  I thought I was done that day, but my parents wanted some edits, so I had to do it after work that day and skip coming home for dinner.  Printout for a two-page letter: 20 cents.
  • On Sunday the 22nd I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division).  Don't exactly remember what time I went, or even if it was really Sunday.  Oh, well.  Tips and coffee: $11.
  • Saturday the 21st was a long day.  Went to work, then went to this alumni event in St. Paul, then went back to Minneapolis to attend the National Collegiate Hockey Conference title game at Target Center.  But first I went to Dogwood Coffee inside Shinola to get an Americano to warm my hands and body.  With tip: $3.25.
  • Scalped a ticket for a price ($20) that may still have been too much.  Also paid cash for the program.  The hot dog and Coke I got a put on my credit card.  Total: $25.
  • After that I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), but my car really acted up on the way there.  I was too worried to stay and enjoy myself, so I (paradoxically) went back into the car which is giving me so much anxiety.  Tipped on chick: $2.
  • But did I go straight home?  No!  I went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place for a chicken alfredo pizza.  I knew I had to spend money to fix my car; how is a pizza going to inflate my credit card that badly by comparison?  With tip: $16.25.
  • Wednesday, March 18 was the eve of the NCAA Tournament, so I spent that evening after work meditating on my bracket.  But first I went to the library to print out a Hooters coupon for free boneless wings for my birthday: 10 cents.
  • I then went to Caffetto to finally make my picks, which were, once again, spectacularly wrong.  I had a light dinner at The Lowry, but here I had a slice of Irish creme cheesecake and a mocha.  With tip: $7.50.
  • Monday, March 16 ... Started my research into the bracket.  I remember looking forward to printing out the Kenpom sheets at the library after tournament play was completed; armed with that information I knew I was going to finally win that huge pool, which, by the way, awarded more than eight grand to the winner.  Hope always springs eternal, I guess: 20 cents.
  • I remember Sunday the 15th because I had real bad car trouble then!  Shook and jerked and crawled my way downtown and the library there, where I had to print out the spreadsheets of the stocks they had sold for the 2014 tax year and the dates and share prices when they bought them.  Hoo-boy, that was a huge goddamn project.  I thought I would have a lot of time to go to the Twin Cities Auto Show after printing these (and the ticket for said auto show), but finishing up this task took me more than a few hours.  I got out after noon, for crissake.  The total: 50 cents.
  • And I needed to pay for parking, for this is downtown: 50 cents.
  • Saturday, March 14: I was at the volunteer project our alumni group was doing.  I liked doing that, so I gave a donation of: $5.
  • After that shift I hung out at the mall closest to me, which was close to the site of the project.  While walking around I was snagged by those damn Girl Scouts and their cookies.  I got the one with the raisins, I think.  Shit, they are good: $4.
  • That evening was the Minnesota RollerGirls championship bout.  Had the fortunate timing of being approached by a guy who had extra tickets he was willing to give for free.  There was a couple that, for some reason, hesitated when he asked them if they wanted these tickets (and I think he had more than two).  One of the few times I took advantage of something new that dropped in my lap.  Miller Lap plus tip: $8.
  • Finished up the night with a trip to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version), where I took a spin with Betty, the hippiest chick at the bar.  With tips and coffee: $31.
  • All the way back to Saturday, March 7?  I did start the test scoring project then; hope I either didn't spend anything or got receipts for the stuff that I did spend.  Anyway, that was the day I went to the Boys' State High School Hockey AA final at the X.  Didn't get anything to eat because I elected to eat at Cossetta instead.  So I got a ticket from a fellow high school hockey on the street for: $20.
  • Oh, and before the game the first thing I did once I got to St. Paul was get my car washed at the Downtowner.  It was the first warm day of the year, so I thought it would be good to wash all the winter crap off my (now busted) car.  Those guys are thorough, therefore I increased my tip by a full 50% (I charged the price of the car wash, which I used a coupon with): $3.
I think I'm good through Tuesday, April 7.

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