Cold Stone Creamery, What The Fuck Did You Give Me This Card For?

I guess "Cold Stone Creamery, You Suck!" would be a much shorter and thus better blog post title, but it would not be accurate.  I still love the ice cream, it's their "rewards card" program that confuses me.

So I was at the Mall of America yesterday, and it was humid, so even though I wasn't hungry I thought I'd eat ice cream.  There were two places I was thinking of going to, both because I have loyalty cards with them: Cold Stone Creamery and the Pinkberry.  In the end I went to Cold Stone because it was closer and I didn't have all the time in the world.

Everything was fine -- ordered quickly, got exactly what I wanted.  And I'll say that the guy helping me was really fastidious in mixing up the Twix in with the sweet cream and making sure every single drop of that gets into my cup.  But when I got rung up and I gave him the Cold Stone Creamery card -- and remember, this was just to put the purchase on it, like I'm accruing points towards, like, getting a free one -- he swiped it through and then said, "There's no money on it."

"I know," I said, "I"m just trying to put the points on the card."

"Uh, we can't do that," I think he said.  I'm paraphrasing.  He said something like that.  Anyway, they're telling me that it's not a rewards card.  Which is bullshit, because this was the same fucking store that gave it to me as a rewards card.

I told him this, somewhat audibly.  This guy I guess then deferred to the person next to him, who may have been the manager, who send something like, "Yeah, we don't have the technology to process that as a rewards card."  What?  What the fuck?  How do you guys not "have the technology?"  What does that even mean?  When are you going to "have the technology?"  Are you saying that you're one of the only Cold Stone Creameries in America that doesn't "have the technology?"  Which is kind of rich, because, once again, I was given this rewards card, as a rewards card, from here, which I think means I can assume that you "have the technology" to process this card as a rewards card.  But they didn't.

So I left with my ice cream in one hand and my dick in the other.  Sure I paid, like I was supposed to, but I didn't get any credit towards a future free ice cream, like some guy at that same place promised me when I was given the card.  Look, Cold Stone Creamery: If this is not a rewards card, which I think is what the people were trying to say but were too embarrassed to say out loud, why was I told it was one?

Yeah, I'll go back to them again; their ice cream is too good.  But not for a while.