Well, this is a blindside.
You know that flu biller place? Well, going back there is about two months away, but I recollect last year around this time is when I heard initial rumblings from my temp agency about being hired on earlier than I anticipated. So when the guy there left me a voicemail yesterday inquiring what's up with me, I figured he was alluding to that (as well as what I'm doing now, in case they had a short-term assignment in mind for me immediately).
I waited until today to call him back, because I have had second thoughts about going back. As I've thought more and more about it, I have not had positive thoughts about going back. I mean most of the people there are great, and I like the work and I like the commute, and all of those things are presumably still there. But I haven't thought about those things when I've been spacing out. Instead, it's the negative shit that happened last year that keep coming back at me like a flurry of punches: The stress, the nights where I woke up early to the sound of pounding heart, the blindsides, my boss losing it and insulting me, and all the constant questions.
But I'll be honest: I could tolerate all of that. Even my boss, at least for one more year. (It helps that he's off the project from now on.) Now, The Asshole going off on me -- that's the reason why I've thought twice about coming back. And actually, the more I've ruminated on that prick, and the more I've acted out and tried to punch him the face like he deserves, the more I kind of think that I don't want to go back.
That's the great thing about temporary assignments and part-time jobs. I remember walking away from ushering after seven years because I had it with this closeted bitch demeaning me. I can walk away from The Asshole, too. It's not like I have to stay for the benefits. And I'm good enough to find similar menial work elsewhere.
I was going to tell the temp agency something close to this. I had to hedge my bets because, frankly, I might put up with him if the pay is good. There's nothing like earning a paycheck. Also, there are enough good people there that I would feel a tad -- a tad -- guilty for not coming back because I would feel like I'm abandoning them. So I was going to give him sort of a head's-up; I would say that I don't know if I want to go back because I've thinking about going back to college, and all the negative things that happened last year is something I'm afraid will repeat themselves this year.
That did not come up in our conversation, which was a couple hours ago. There was a short-term assignment I was qualified for, but I didn't do a good job of telling them that my current project was still ongoing, and I didn't tell them at all that I hooked into another project that will last (fingers crossed) till early August. But then he said something curious: He said that closer to the end of August we should reconnoiter and talk about future assignments. End of August? Doesn't the flu biller place need someone at the beginning of August?
Sure, I'll jump to conclusions: The flu biller place doesn't want me back. Can't believe it. All the blood, sweat, toil and bullshit I put up with, and now they don't want me back. I tried to help out at a place I was at the previous two seasons, and I got elevated to doing impossible tasks (at an hourly wage below what I should have been paid, by the way) to the point where I began resenting going to work, and they beat me to rejection first. Unbelievable.
You know, I wouldn't put it past The Asshole for recommending they not bring me back. I know he would be underhanded enough to pull that shit.
Fine. You don't want me back? I didn't want to come back, OK? Let's see you go through flu season without me. Whatever, man. This makes it easier to move on to bigger and better things. Lates.
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