OK, so most of my Facebook friends are female bodybuilders and "fitness models." I friend them because they're hot and, in my deepest and darkest fantasy, I sidle up to them to the point where we'd have sex. I'm working on it, but I'm afraid I lost one.
She is absolutely fucking hot. From time to time she would post pictures of herself, usually in front of some weight apparatus, working out with itty-bitty tops and bottoms, glistening with sweat, tattoo on her hot-ass ribs popping out. She would also post selfies of her ripped abs, and she would roll down her pants to show her powerful, v-shaped, uh, down-there place. Have to note that I haven't jerked off to her yet.
But I may have stumbled with her. First she updated her status (which she does ... a lot) saying that was on the beach in her bikini relaxing from working out (which she also does, a lot) with a skinny-tini or something. So, innocently, just like a joke, I said, "Pic?" To which she replied, "Don't be a creep." Strike one.
And then she had another status update about substituting for a fellow personal trainer. Her update was something like, "Wait till the students see who's filling in for their regular trainer!" Now, I have to admit that deep down, I have a negative visceral reaction to someone saying that. She's being a bully, is what she's saying. But I didn't want her to know that. I kind of hedged that thought instead, so I was hoping that she would understand that my comment was meant to be a joke that she actually was a dominatrix of some sort, and that her whipping these people into shape meant that she would not mind whipping a saggy, middle-aged man like me into shape, in bed, where I would get my ass kicked and then eventually pegged up my butthole for rolling down her panties all the way, thus revealing not only her v-shaped down-there place but her vagina, too.
Sorry, I just had one of my sex dreams. Anyway, that was my thought process when commenting on her status update. And that status update was: "Are you a sadist?"
I meant that as a joke, just a joke! Of course she's not a sadist. Besides, if you're going to imply that you're going to be a bitch to these people, well, own it!
I didn't think much of my comment, to be honest. But then I noticed that whenever I checked my feed, I no longer saw her status updates, the ones about working her booty, or being in her pajamas and getting to bed early, or her incessant fucking obsession with Kevin Hart. And so I went to her page and it appears that we she un-/defriended me.
Guess I should be sad or upset. But hey, like I said, it was supposed to be a joke. Besides, if you didn't understand how you came off in that update, hey, it's not my fault. Finally, you get three strikes in baseball.
I thought of messaging her and apologizing. But I don't want to know if she's going to reject my apology or rip me a new asshole in reaction to my entreaty. Hey, I still have a bunch of other fitness hotties I can masturbate over who aren't so defensive.
No comments:
Post a Comment