Wednesday, June 22, 2016

This Is A List Of All The Shit I Ate Today:


  • I just felt like I wanted to eat Burger King for breakfast, and I did, even though I made the mistake of not changing my smartphone alarm back to 5:45 instead of 6:15, the time I planned on waking up because I was off of work, but I was called back into work this morning to finish the project.  Got there just at the stroke of 7 after stopping by at BK.
  • After work but before the 11 o'clock Euro games began, I stopped by at Arby's.  Nomad World Pub is cool for letting people bring outside food.  So long, I assume, that I buy something from the pub.  And I did -- a special bar-made t-shirt celebrating the Copa America Centenario.  Got the beer free because of it.
  • Inbetween the 11 o'clock and 2 o'clock games, I walked to the Afro Deli on the recommendation of the bartender working at the Nomad.  I three sambusas, which are the Somali version of fried dumplings, and fries.  Washed that down with a Coke from Nomad.
  • While at the Nomad I was checking my Facebook Timeline, and I saw that the Caribou/Einsten Bros. combo shop just opened up today at the suddenly-booming shopping complex where our Cub Foods is at.  To celebrate, they invited everyone to a free bagel and spread with the purchase of a coffee.  I wasn't hungry, but man, I have to celebrate a store's grand opening, right?  So I ate the bagel there, just before dinner.  And as of press time, I still have the lukewarm coffee to drink.
  • I was hoping for a light dinner.  Nope!  I had a huge bowl of soup.
  • And just because it's so humid outside, I think I'm going to eat a juicy melon some time before I go to bed.
I swear I don't know how I ate all of these things and remain upright.  My colon blew, however; while at Caribou/Einstein Bros. I let out a very smelly fart, which means that some bad shit is coming, literally.  I was raced home and hit the throne before I shit myself.  And I still think it's coming.

See, I wouldn't be eating so much if I were working.  That's why I need to find a full-time job -- to control my diet!

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