They made me go through all my stuff even though it didn't hurt anyone. They fucking rearranged my room. They even got into the locked goddamn compartment in my desk. They took everything. They found everything that was in here ... which means, thank Buddha, that they didn't see my porn because I moved it all out to my storage space. But I am looking at my bedroom, what is supposed to be my safe place, my fortress, and it is completely unrecognizable to me because both My Fucking Parents moved everything around to something they like even though I'm the one who has to live in it.
I have always been wistful on my last visit to the Fair. I've always associated it with the end/death of summer, and so when I walk out of the Fairgrounds for the last time, to me it feels like I'm leaving summer behind me. But I'm more sentimental and sad about summer this time around because of how shitty I feel because of the trauma My Fucking Parents inflicted on me. It was so happy there, and because of that I was happy, and I could feel as though I could forget my worries for a few hours. But while I tried to put it out of my mind, I still remembered that, at some point, the joy I felt had to end, and I had to return to a place where, frankly, I don't feel secure right now. I leave the happiness of summer behind and enter a fall (the season I like the most, ironically) with two people who fucking torment me when they should be my champions. And so it feels as though it's all crashing down.
