Yeah, About My Sleep Schedule ...

Because I have had to do some subterfuge to obfuscate taking my stuff over to my storage unit after My Fucking Father rearranged my bedroom and invaded my privacy, this three nap thing I had going for weeks has been interrupted, if not stopped for good.  I could not get in my evening nap any time this week because I had to be out and about during the evening.

It started Monday, when I went to the library just so I could take out the trash after dinner so My Fucking Father wouldn't be able to look into the trash bin and suspect I took out a bag he threw in there.  I stayed out that evening until a bit past 8, and I was so full of energy I stayed awake through the evening and didn't get to bed till, I think, the time of my actual rest, around 2:30.

It looks as though that stored up enough sleep debt where my body was demanding I take a long sleep.  Couldn't do that Tuesday, when I took out the trash ostensibly on my way back to work "because I forgot to do something."  That something actually turned out to be a massage from ******a, and that was so good that I wanted to "maximize" my body being thoroughly kneaded like it was.  I didn't eat a midnight snake or drink any juice.  I had a few sips of water and I crawled into bed just before 9 -- and my body responded by knocking me out until a bit before 4 in the morning.

I thought I was going to conk off at work; I did turn in seven hours of sleep, but I woke up two hours before I had to -- will I have enough energy?  I still get in lunchtime naps, so I did power through.  But after I lied about needing to go out again last/Wednesday night (said I had to go back to the library; I went out for ice cream and a much-needed walk around the Sculpture Garden instead) I got back home -- this time by 7, where I finally was able to take in the ABC sitcoms during prime time, the first time all season I've been able to do that.  After that, a bit past 9, I crawled under the sheets and turned off the TV ... and I woke up just now, just before my alarm.  First time in a long time I slept properly, let alone just short of nine hours.

Shoot, and I feel great!  I think I'll be able to be alert through training in the morning.  But now that the trash will be taken away and I won't need to go anywhere after dinner, will I revert back to my three-nap schedule, or will my body be "good" enough that I won't have to conk off this evening?  And which will be better for my body?  And which schedule will I like more?

One More Day, Man, One More Day

In sort-of following up on the matter of retrieving my stuff and not having My Fucking Father see it ... I have "left" and continue to "leave" after dinner as a ruse to take out the trash instead of him.  That way, he doesn't look in the trash bin to see that one of the two bags of stuff he so rudely threw in there is gone -- taken by me, whisked away into my storage unit.

I did that Monday, where I used the excuse that I had to go to the library.  I didn't, but since I told my parents I was, Mother asked me to actually print out some things for her, so a lie turned into the truth.  I wanted to see ******a to get a massage then, but I had to put it off till yesterday evening, and the lie I told my folks was that I forgot to do something at work and I had to go back to make sure I did it right or else my boss would be mad at me.

I need to do this one more time.  I am going to tell them that I have to go to the library again -- alumni club stuff, I'll say.  Tomorrow is garbage day, so I will need to wheel trash down to the end of the driveway.  If I can pull that off, and if My Fucking Father doesn't trundle out in the cold and look inside the trash bin for any reason before the haulers dump in tomorrow morning, for all he knew, one of the bags of my stuff was taken away.  (Actually I should take something back: That other bag is mostly recyclables that my parents tossed -- I think.  There are a few things in there that was taken from my bedroom, but they needed to be recycled.  But now that I think about it, I should take one more look inside, even though it's in the recycling bin, that won't get hauled away until next week.  Oh, to my point: If My Fucking Father looks in the recycling bin Thursday and sees a bag that he put in the trash bin, I'll tell him I fixed his mistake.)

So long as I don't blow up and accuse him of throwing my stuff away (although he might already think that I know), I might just be able to get away with this.

(Breathing In Loudly) OK ...

OK, so I can understand a gesture of frustration, and if I don't let this go, I cannot expect anyone else at work to let it go when I express a pique of frustration -- which I have.

Saying that, it was kind of startling to see someone who I don't know but have worked with grab and aggressively pull a sign-in book from me.  She tried to explain herself, and I think I understood that she wasn't mad at me but was trying to get something she didn't want to do done "in the next five minutes," she said.  But under her breath she also said, "OK, I guess I'll sign it now," and that makes me think that she either thought she told me or the person who brought me in (sorry, it'd take too long to explain what I mean by that) that she was busy and she would sign it later.  But there's me, not hearing her (although she might not know that), just standing there with the sign-in book, having her initial it.  And so she snapped.

Yeah, I understand.  But I can't look at her the same way again.  Walking on eggshells around her is a sound strategy, at least for the time being.

My Fucking Father Fucked Me (Figuratively) ... First Time In A Long Time

Jesus fucking Christ ... I thought I had published this yesterday/Monday, and I apparently I fucking hit the wrong button or something, and so I did not publish this yesterday/Monday?  Goddammit.  And that meant that I skipped yet another day without blog posting.  Double goddammit.

Instead of changing every "yesterday" to "Sunday," I am just going to write this prologue stating that this piece was supposed to have been posted yesterday/Monday.

I have the perfect subsequent blog post for this, but I guess I won't have to write that until at least later today.  Fucking God, how in the hell did I not publish this piece. ...

---

Came home from work yesterday to see that he cleaned up my bedroom.  Well, not all of it, but the stuff on the dresser was put into several bags.  And two of them wound up in the trash.  What's worse is that after dinner, he knew that I would be looking through them, so he literally took them outside to the bin -- and not the recycling bin.  I went outside after dinner, and that motherfucker put them in the trash bin, even though they were recyclable.  He even made a point of putting the actual bag of trash on top of one of the bags -- you know, to taint the papers I kept on my dresser so I would peruse them later.  Those moves (taking them out of my bedroom, then taking them into the trash bin, then putting actual trash on my stuff) convinces me that is fucking determined to throw away my stuff.  He wants to make this personal.

Well, fuck him -- I hope.  Does that son-of-a-bitch think I won't retrieve my stuff now that he's thrown it in the trash?  Goddamn him -- I dug through the trash to find my sub sandwich six days ago, and I ate it, for fuck's sake!!!  Turns out being a trash panda makes for good experience now that he's pulled this bullshit.  (Although I now regret not at least putting those bags in the less-smelly recycling bin.  I just looked inside the bin and then left it because I was afraid My Fucking Father would catch me.)  What I am going to do is get up real early in the morning, hopefully not see My Fucking Father out and about, go out to my car and, while warming up the engine, throwing those bags into my car.  Then after work, I'll throw them into my storage unit, where they'll be safe from My Fucking Father's cruel hands.  Hope to God I can get away with it.

In the meantime I have been internally so pissed off.  I am so fucking mad at him right now.  He ostensibly did this to redo my television.  (I went downstairs to his computer room to watch Liga MX on Telemundo because I couldn't get it on my TV.  When I turned my TV on after I got home, my set turned on to Telemundo.  Another passive-aggressive mind game from that asshole.)  He then took the opportunity to screw me over.  I just have to keep telling myself what Bruce Lee always says: "Be water."

Wanna Tip On OnlyFans? Beware!

I started casting about for women (models mostly) who publish photographs of themselves naked on Patreon.  But last year or so they tightened their standards to only allow, uh, tastefully done nudes on their site.  Most models (and, as soon as I realized cam girls and even porn stars started off there, them too) I followed made the decision that they couldn't make money if Patreon was going to apply a stricter standard to what they consider to be acceptable on their platform.  So they went to OnlyFans.

I think I saw OnlyFans several years ago on my pseudonymous Twitter account for which I follow porn stars and bikini models and the like.  One porn star didn't tweet anything besides boasting she had signed up this person and that person to her OF account.  I was at first reluctant to join all the models and hot women who emigrated from Patreon to OnlyFans.  But I was convinced to finally sign up not by a porn star or bodybuilding babe but by a photographer who photographs women in the nude.  I have been Facebook friends with him for the hot pictures he publishes, but he frequently was suspended and banned for the nudity in those photos, and he began to complain vociferously about Facebook's standards.  He announced that he finally gave up and planned to move all of his work (he has had a long career shooting women naked) to OF.  He is such a famous, skilled photographer that I gladly subscribed to his account at, I think, 11 bucks per month.

And that's when it dawned on me that OnlyFans has become an online, uh, membership web portal for porn.  I started scanning all the hot babes on Facebook, and some of them advertised their OF account.  I resisted, but then I started being curious about some of them, so I took a peek.  And then I saw them advertising other models, none of whom I am Facebook friends with.  Some of those models and girls enticed me with free accounts, which actually show nothing but teaser shots and the like.

Still, I followed those free accounts.  That meant that they could send e-mails to my OnlyFans inbox, where they sometimes describe screengrabs and videos that I could see ... if I pay for it with my credit card.  Oh no, I don't ... well, eventually I caved.  I remember it was specifically for a woman who is not on Facebook, but on her free site was one of the only, if not the only, babe who posted shots and videos of her naked.  I was waiting for someone to take that step towards me, and so I rewarded her by taking a step towards her.  I pushed a few buttons, and I got to unlock this photo of her sucking off a guy, presumably her husband.  It was ... well, she has a banging body, but knowing that she was in her, or their, house and he's blowing someone she probably is married to is something of a buzzkill.

But in for a penny, in for a pound, amirite?  There are a lot of women I have subscribed to.  Many of them are former Playboy Playmates who are still trying to make a buck out of their naked bodies.  (I found them listed on a post in Vintage Erotica Forum.)  I jerked off to them before, so I would love to get hard to them again.  And since I was going to "tip" (that's OF's word for unlocking these otherwise hidden photos and videos) Playmates, I might as well try a few of these other models and cam girls, too.  They set the rate at which each contribution sent to my e-mail is worth, and some of them are obscenely expensive.  I have seen one woman, a hot bodybuilder (seriously, her bod is to fucking die for), say that I could see her naked for $150.  I have a secure job right now, but no.

So when I finally made the decision to see what these locked contributions are all about, I decided I would have a limit: I would not pay more than ten bucks to see something.  So over a few days, I charged a few of these secret boxes to the credit card I have on file.  And ... fuck me, I've been fooled.  I have seen one model send a topless photo, and there is one video of an amateur model fellating a big, black plastic penis.  Everything else I tipped for are teaser shots where the chick is holding her arms right in front of her tits.  The closest I see are thongs showing the ass.  It's a ripoff.  And frankly, I'm not into seeing chicks sucking fake dick.  Also, that video is over five minutes long.  I haven't had the desire to watch all of it yet.  I saw that first video of that woman sucking a real dick in its entirety because the video was shorter, but, now that I think on it, it's a real guy, with real sperm shooting out of his urethra.  Now that's a real blowjob.

All told I think I spent ... egad, $40-50 on these photos and videos.  I might patronize the two who actually get naked and do shit, but I have been burned so many times that I think I should err on the side of not tipping for these.  They're not giving me what I want, and I think I've wasted enough money, although learning a lesson may not be a complete waste.

Stopping And Smelling The Roses

I didn't even know if I was going to leave the house today because there was a forecast of freezing ice that was going to make the roads slippery and treacherous.  But the roads were fine, perfect even (well, as perfect as land with snow and ice already on it can be), so I went out mainly to get tested but also to check on my storage unit (where I then decided I might as well pay for my unit for the next year) and get gasoline for my car.  (I also ate Taco Bell.)

I wish I didn't have stuff to do and instead just note the weather.  Because today, it was perfect -- well, not entirely, but this afternoon had many elements I love in a day.  It was mostly cloudy and not too cold.  It actually was above freezing during much of the afternoon.  Sure, I wish there were no snow and ice on the ground so I don't slip and fall.  And it could be 20 (or 30, or even 10) degrees warmer.  But it should be cooler today, and it could be much cooler today, and it's not.  And so, after I left my storage unit, even though I told Mother I would be home by 3, I decided I was going to go to a park.  I need to get a walk in, and this afternoon had very good conditions in which to walk.  Alas, I couldn't find the nearest park to my storage unit, and I figured I shouldn't waste too much time finding another one.

But I thought of something once I got home, however.  I first wanted to take a picture of both ends of my street, as well as my house.  Just a late-January snapshot of the place I call home, and it was beautiful.  But then I thought, "Hey, maybe my sister's best friend's mother is on her stoop, also enjoying the deceptively beautiful day like I am!"  Actually, there was little-to-no chance she would do that; she's old and she's in a chair, so it wouldn't be wise nor safe for her to be outside for too long.  But thinking that she might be there was enough for me to get my "exercise" in, so I walked down a couple houses, looked to see that no one was outside, and I walked back.  And in that, oh, 20 yards back and forth, I looked up at the gray, overcast sky, breathed in and out, felt warm (really, above freezing is not cold so long as you're dressed competently), and got in my appreciation of this winter day.  I don't know if I'll have the time, and I don't know if the weather will be as accommodating in the future (even though I did something similar just before Christmas, and the weather isn't always that conducive to exercising outdoors then, either).  But I should do more of this -- walking and appreciating.

Brain Fog, Maybe?

I have had headaches from time to time seemingly since the pandemic began.  It might be hypochondria, and it might not be causal, and I continue to test negative according to the antigen test (and one antibody test, even though I took that in the late summer), but I have had them.  I wouldn't consider them to be debilitating like migraines, but at their worst I can't remember having headaches like them.

On top of that I have not felt mentally sharp for the past year or so.  I totally attribute that to the pandemic and the ensuing lockdown.  I cannot do what I want in the evenings, so I'm resigned to lolling around at home, which makes me lazy and unfocused.  Also, I think exercise would do me world of good, for my mind as well as my body.

With so much time on my hands, ironically (maybe) I have let all my chores go without doing anything.  Letters keep piling up, unopened.  Father did laundry for me earlier in the week.  He even folded them.  But I haven't put them away yet.  And I still haven't found that damn lottery ticket I bought at The Mechanic Around The Corner for my sister.

At work, at the top of every hour, someone from my row of workers is supposed to check this form pinned to a clipboard.  We call this the "board."  These folders we check and clean are initialed once we are done with them, but as a final, final check, someone (and it rotates every day) is supposed to add up the number of folders that have been passed through for that just-completed hour (we use different-colored pens to track the folders every different hour) and (and not to get into the weeds with our work) check on our software that every single form in every single folder for that hour is complete.  It just so happens that this clipboard sits right next to me.  The person who "checks the board" should get up and get the clipboard shortly after the top of every hour.  But sometimes that person, who sits several seats down to the right of me, either loses track of time or is busy going through and "sanitizing" the folders.  So what I often do is get up, grab the board and lay it next to her.  It's an excuse to stretch.

Earlier this week, several minutes after the top of, I think, 10 in the morning, I got up and handed off the board.  And the person who was checking it that day said, "I already checked it!"  And then she said, "You already gave the board to me!"

"Really?" I replied.

"Yeah.  You gave it to me, like, a few minutes ago."

On the form there are lines to write down how many folders we finish each hour, and they're marked "6-7," 12-1," etc.  The line for "9-10" was filled; she already added up the number of folders done for the hour.  And yet I swear, I swear, that I looked at the clock, looked at that line, saw it was filled in, and thought to myself, "Oh!  The board for the past hour hasn't been checked yet!"  Worse than that, and worst of all?  I don't remember getting up to give her the board prior to this second time.  And I still don't recall giving her the board.

Foggy brain, man.  It's COVID, man, it's COVID. ...

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -3).  After a worrying, humbling sweep at home at the hands of unranked Notre Dame, it was important for the U. male icers to get back on track.  They did last week, and how: They swept Arizona St. at Mariucci Thursday and Friday by scores of 10-0 and 10-2.  Now, the Sun Devils aren't really the 1980s Edmonton Oilers.  But it nonetheless was important to pocket wins, and with these two they maintain a ranking of fourth in both polls and remain on the inside when it comes to the PairWise.  Mainly for the crushing wins, I have elevated this team up to Positive Numbers.

This squad is at Ohio St. tonight/Friday evening and tomorrow/Saturday afternoon.

#0: Gopher volleyball (Re-Entry!).  Finally, the Big Ten begins play in women's volleyball.  Like with most other sports, the league is playing only against each other, and similar to what the NBA and NHL are doing in response to the pandemic, the league is also going to play college hockey-style, with a pair of Games against the same opponent over two days.  So the Gophers began last weekend with a sweep of Michigan St. at Maturi.  They thus maintain their #7 ranking on the AVCA Top 25, and thus, I am going to put them at 0.  They are in Maryland tonight/Friday night and tomorrow/Saturday evening.

#-1: Whitecaps (Re-Entry!).  Have to admit that the National Women's Hockey League snuck up on me.  And like a cat burglar, it'll be gone before we know it.  The NWHL "season" is a bubble in Lake Placid, N.Y., the six teams will play each other round-robin style only once before having one-Game Semifinals and Final.  This will all wrap up a week-and-a-half from now.

Under such a format, the 'Caps have picked up where they left off, which was preparing to play for last Year's Isobel Cup Final vs. the Boston Pride before the pandemic hit and, unfortunately, the league decided to scuttle the title Game.  They began Saturday with a 2-1, come-from-behind victory over the Pride.  Then, the Whitecaps roared back from a 5-1 deficit to beat the expansion club Toronto Six (stupid-ass name, by the way) in a Shootout on Sunday.  Then on Tuesday, Minnesota's Haley Mack scored on a 5-on-3 Power Play with ten Seconds left in regulation to beat the Metropolitan Riveters, 1-0.  They thus are the only team in the six-team league that is undefeated.

They were supposed to play yesterday/Thursday.  But the league postponed all the Games because the Riveters have an outbreak of coronavirus cases.  In fact, it was announced that the entire club has pulled out of the quasi-tournament.  This pullout stands out because, unlike teams in the NWSL and MLS, apparently this breakout began once Games began, and under the assumption that players were only congregating with each other.  If that's not the case, well, these Rivs done fucked up, because they fucked up the schedule for the rest of the league.

I unfairly would dock the Whitecaps for this coronavirus-related postponement.  But unfortunately it gets worse than that.  I have just made myself aware of a coordinated online attack orchestrated by the alt-right sports section, also known as Barstool Sports.  Earlier in the Week, the CEO of this sports ... thing tweeted her support of the NWHL, which she has done from time to time.  That brought up critics who say that the league should not attract the support of someone leading a company that promotes racism, sexism and online harassment of journalists.  To which the CEO tweeted about her being a victim ... and then naming those critics and journalists so Republican trolls can harass them online.  It gets worse.  Saroya Tinker, a Rookie Defenseman for the Riveters, clapped back at the CEO.  To which the founder of Barstool tweeted that Tinker should be in jail, which set off another round of online attacks against Tinker.

What really gets me is that this Republican hate group (seriously, I don't know how Barstool hasn't teamed up, or even been bought out by, Breitbart yet) has support from many in the NWHL.  Several players have showed on the CEO's podcasts.  After her quasi-doxxing tweet a player, Kelly Babstock, retweeted several of the CEO's tweets.  Babstock is a teammate of Tinker.  Later in the week, a director of hockey operations named Gabrielle Gjelaj tweeted her own words defending the CEO, bemoaning cancel culture, and outright ignoring the entire controversy, including the harassment of Saroya Tinker, a member of the Riverters ... for whom Gjelaj is the director of hockey operations.  Talk about an inside job.  For the league's part, they put out a statement that is half-ass.  Goddamn, they are thirsty for that Barstool attention, even if it fuels the fire of this controversy.  Anyway, this breakdown on Defector (formed by the writers of Deadspin, an online publication that I have not totally liked, but has frequently taken down Barstool) is fantastic.

Even though I have no evidence beyond this, enough of a shitstorm has been created that I have to toss some of this on the Whitecaps.  I have to think that at least several players on the club love Barstool -- a few of them probably are stars, even.  The founding and growth of a women's pro league is by its very definition progressive, and therefore I will attest that the NWHL has a duty to reject any support from regressive, pro-stupid, Republican groups like Barstool.  The league has not, at least not genuinely, and many of its players are siding with this hate group and against progress, and some of its own players.  This has the potential to destroy the league ... and if the powers that choose not to be on the right side, then they deserve to die.

So yeah, that's why I've ranked the Whitecaps -1.  They're supposed to play the Buffalo Beauts on Saturday, then after that, who knows?

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  I don't think it matters since it's too late, but this squad has won three Games in a row.  Apparently Head Coach Lindsay Whalen lit into the team (I assume it was after the Third Quarter, after they got outscored in that Quarter, 21-12, and thus was trailing by seven) and her players responded by doubling up Penn St. in the Fourth, 32-16, and thus claimed the road victory Monday, 85-76.  They then followed that up by outlasting Purdue at Williams yesterday/Thursday afternoon, 77-72.  This week the U. hosts Iowa and visits Michigan.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -2).  A 2-2 screening Week -- splitting two-Game series with San Jose and Los Angeles at home.  An early storyline emerging with this team is their lack of production on the Power Play.  However, highlight efforts by Kirill Kaprizov and Kevin Fiala show offensive talent on the Wild for the first time in a long time.  

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  It was possible that this past Week could have been the last Week Ryan Saunders was in charge of the Woofie Dogs.  He avoided being fired -- barely, I assume -- with a surprising 120-110 victory at home over New Orleans Saturday night.  Once again they were without the services of Karl-Anthony Towns (still battling COVID-19) and D'Angelo Russell (quad, but also "load management"), but they somehow rocked the Pels.  Of course, that win was surrounded by somnambulant losses at Target Center to Atlanta and back-to-back defeats at Golden State.  Moribund remains the apt descriptor for this franchise.  This Week: Home vs. Philadelphia tonight/Friday night, a back-to-back home-and-home with Cleveland Sunday and Monday, and at San Antonio Wednesday.

#-5: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: 0).  Home Dual versus Iowa last Friday was going to be a massacre, and it was: 35-4.  The only Points came courtesy of Heavyweight and #1 in that class, Gable Steveson, who took a Major Decision over the third-ranked Heavyweight, Tony Cassioppi, 14-6.  Otherwise, the Hawkeyes got a pin (at 125; the top-ranked rassler in that class felled #9, Gopher Patrick McKee two Minutes into the Match), a Technical Fall, and three Major Decisions.  Sunday they will participate in the second of two "tri-Meets" where, in Piscataway, N.J., they will face Purdue and then Rutgers.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  I thought that this club was good enough to shore up their already lofty resume with wins on the road vs. teams that are not the class of the B1G.  I did not think I would have to worry about the direct opposite -- losing to bad league teams at home.  But that's what happened Saturday afternoon, when the Goofers fell behind early and never was able to get it together in a humiliating 63-49 defeat at the hands of Maryland.  I will assume this is a blip on the road to The Big Dance, but this team right now is 4-5 in-conference.  Plus, they have to go on the road this screening Week to play Purdue tomorrow/Saturday night and Rutgers Thursday night.  Be careful; a winless week will undermine the CV lots.

My Three Naps

I don't really remember when it started happening.  I just did it, I did it for a while, and then it became a pattern and ... by the time I noticed what I have done, it seems to me I've done it for years.

I have long taken a nap for lunch at work.  I absolutely need it.  Not to complain too much about my job, partially because I could get through it if I routinely got a good night's sleep, and I routinely don't.  But more often than not, once I slip into the passenger seat and (for the wintertime; I need to open the windows during the summertime) get the blanket on top of me, I am able to power nap, and that refreshes me to get through the afternoon.  Not getting enough sleep overnight helps me conk off for lunchtime.  I am able to get through the afternoon without slipping into unconsciousness, but I don't know how.  It really is my second wind.  And I am exceedingly happy because I feel so energized from that nap.

But this is where the "I started doing this and before I knew it I've been doing it for a while!" part of this blog post comes in.  I now take naps in the evening on a regular basis.  I actually don't remember the last evening when I didn't do it.  Maybe on a Saturday because I get to sleep in and that destroys the cycle of when my body gets tired.  Anyway, while that lunchtime nap is invigorating, it doesn't get me that much energy into the evening.  In fact, lately at least, once I come home and (usually) immediately have dinner with my parents, I am tired to the point whereby I can sleep.  Sometimes I stay up to doomscroll, and sometimes I am able to sneak in a shower.  But at some point between, say, 5:30 and 7:30, my body tells me to rest, and I do.  My shortest evening nap has been around 30 minutes and my longest, such as the one I got in just this past evening, was about 3 1/2 hours, but I usually average around two, 2 1/2 hours for this nap this part of the day.

It feels great to sleep.  I feel productive once I wake up at night, which is invaluable.  But it does ruin a lot of my plans.  The obvious ramification, of course, is that my sleep cycle is all screwed up.  I usually stay up till 2 anyway, but getting a lot of sleep in the evening doesn't give me a lot of time to sneak in some rest just before I have to wake up in the morning -- which necessitates the lunchtime nap.  Also, there are a lot of things I could be doing in the evening that I obviously don't do.  I could be straightening out my bedroom.  I could be catching up on expenses to write down in my day planner.  I could send out invitations to fellow alumni in the area.  (This is something I should do after I blog post this.)  And, in particular, last night I really, really wanted to watch the situation comedies on ABC.  The Goldbergs is a very funny show, folks!  I wasn't been able to watch that and the other shows in that powerhouse lineup because I slept through it.  And I think I have slept through it the past several Wednesdays, which makes me wonder for how long I have done these evening naps.

So I sleep for, like, 20 minutes at lunchtime ... then sleep for 2 1/2 hours in the evening ... and then, if I'm lucky, I sleep for three hours overnight before work.  I think I can function as a normal human being on six hours of sleep.  I just don't know if it's healthy for me in the long run that I get those six hours all chopped up like this every single day and night.  Maybe once this pandemic ends and I have a reason to stay up in the evening I can readjust my sleep schedule to one that looks normal.  Until then ... can I get along like this?  Maybe I have done so for a long time and I don't even realize it!

Life In The Pandemic Now

I think I should take my temperature, figuratively, about how I'm feeling right now about living under pandemic rules, just over a year since the first cases of COVID-19 reached the United States.

---

I have to admit that I still have an urge to go out and do things in the evening, even though that ebbs and flows.  The main thing I want to do is go to the gym and work out, because damn, I am fat.  It also would get me out of this rut of taking naps in the evening, which I should blog post about in the future.  Having said that, and having said what I'm about to say before on WAF (at least I think), staying home has meant that I am saving money at a rate I have never done before and in fact could not even imagine before the pandemic hit.  Normally I would be hemorrhaging money hand over fist going to coffeeshops and stripper parties.  That is not happening, and although I am bored as hell, I am very, very happy at the money I am saving.

---

The plans seem half-ass, and following through on them looks to very difficult right now.  But a couple weeks ago, the state finally rolled out a plan to start vaccinating old people regardless of co-morbidities -- a cohort that includes my parents.  Last Tuesday they were told by the Minnesota Department of Health to sign up for a vaccination online (or over the phone) starting at noon -- first-come, first-served.  And of course the damn website crashed.  I came home from work and Mother ushered me to her laptop, where the MDH website told her she was in a virtual waiting room and that she should send information about what my parents want (uh ... a shot?) in an e-mail.  I sent photos of their identification and insurance (even though insurance is not necessary) after some trouble (my fault, not of that of the website) and the department e-mailed them saying they've been waitlisted.

As fair as that may theoretically sound, the shitstorm in the wake of hundreds of thousands seeing that same webpage forced MDH to change their system to a lottery one, whereby everyone who signs up between 5 a.m. yesterday (Tuesday) and 5 a.m. today (Wednesday) will be eligible to get a shot which will be determined and then announced to the winners later today -- and, unlike last week, at a location of their choosing.  (There was one story where a person who lived just outstate but came to stay with relatives in my town in anticipation of trying to get a vaccine receiving a slot way up north.  She and a relative drove up there to get it.)  MDH said that is people were waitlisted last week, like my parents, they were already entered into this pool.  I think they signed up anyway.  Good choice, because you never know if that is really true.  Wish them luck!

---

My folks getting the vaccine is the light at the end of the tunnel.  I have heard that even if we all get the shots, things cannot markedly change.  We should still wear masks and stay away from each other, etc.  But I'll be honest: If I get the shot, and everyone I love get a shot, and after that there are strangers around me who refuse to get a shot, what the fuck do I care?  I'm as immune as can be!  If they refuse to get something that will prevent them from possibly succumbing to this disease, why should I care about their well-being?  I'm ready to rip off my mask, cough in front of people and, in fact, frot total strangers a week after my second shot.  Because things will be back to normal!  And if I pass along the virus to another person and they get sick ... shit, it's their fault!  That's truly how I feel.

---

Even though vaccines might not be coming along as quickly as we all hope, there are some supplies that seem to be fine now.  I remember back in the early days of the pandemic where everybody was freaking out because everybody bought antibacterial wipes, hand sanitizer and toilet paper.  The first two I get; toilet paper, to this day, is a thing I don't understand why people felt the need to hoard.  I once was told by my parents to get a bag of toilet paper from a Menards because it was on sale, even though we had plenty because they bogarted a whole shipment months prior.

The supply chains for those three items seem to have righted themselves in the past several months.  I see as much toilet paper as we need since the fall.  And since some time in the winter it seems as though there are now plenty of hand sanitizer and wipes.  For a while, I had been making semi-regular trips to Target to see if I could find both items, and I couldn't.  But then, I began seeing sanitizer more regularly, and then some weeks later, the shelves for wipes have been completely and consistently stocked.  I used to worry, in particular, that I wouldn't have enough wipes for work.  Now, I have several cans of them in my closet, and if I need to buy more, I think I can just swing by Target to get them whenever I want.  There are no shortages of those items, and really anything, anymore.

---

I have swung back to being an ascetic when it comes to screwing around, partly because I feel as though I can hold out a little longer while my parents are close to beginning their shot regimens, partly because these new variants, which they say may be more contagious, is scaring the shit out of me.

I haven't been with someone in a couple weeks, when I got that impromptu massage from ******a when I got cut early from work.  And I haven't had full-blown sexual activity in at least a couple months.  I have gotten used to it.  My libido isn't as raring as it used to be.  I figured that I would be, well, itching to rock out with my cock out after not doing it in so long.  But while I rub one off from time to time, I really think that not seeing naked women do shit to me has dampened my sex drive to the point where I can't mentally and physically get it up.  Again, I think that's a good thing to prevent me from catching the virus.  But I think that once this is all over, I assumed I could just resume my fucking around, and the way it looks and feels now, I'm not sure that I need it anymore.  Is that growing up, or growing old?

---

Back when all this began, experts said we would be in this at least a year, and most likely 18 months.  Experts now are pushing that timeline to the fall, if not the end of the year.  But I want to hope that the Biden administration is going to hammer a coherent, competent national vaccine plan together.

For that reason, I am going to remain somewhat optimistic that things will (largely) get back to normal in that 18-month prognostication.  In fact, I'll make a prediction.  For the symbolism itself, I will say that the United States will largely get out of this pandemic by the Fourth of July.  And if you want a stretch goal, why not shoot for Memorial Weekend?  Maybe I'm being too rosy, but could the vast majority of adults get their shots in the spring?  I really can't see why not -- if we want that to happen.