Addendum To: State Fair Thoughts

Back to waiting in line for food at the Minnesota State Fair: I queued up for the third and final time at Union Hmong Kitchen Labor Day and like the previous day, I was in line for about 50 minutes, maybe a few seconds less.  Like I said before, I don't remember being in so many long lines at a single State Fair in my life.  Had the tofu and the "Tiger Bite" sauce, by the way.  The skin of the tofu was extremely tasty, which made the tofu go down just fine, and that oil had more bark to it than bite because while it was a tad hot, it was by no means hotter than the irredeemably spicy chili oil

While waiting in line, I was speaking to the woman behind me.  She said that while this long was excruciatingly long, the one for the pickle pizza was longer.  I walked by that place -- it's been a longtime vendor at the Fair but I never ate there because, well, it has just served pizzas for years -- Sunday and Monday and the damn lines were so freakin' long!  The woman behind me in line for UHK said she heard secondhand that people were waiting an hour and a half for a slice of pickle pizza.  Are you kidding me?  First of all, like I said before, I don't know if waiting in line for that long is worth it no matter how good the food you're queuing up for is.  And second ... pickle pizza?  I heard a lot of people who tried it liked it, and I think there might be something to the savoriness of pickles on a pizza.  But ... can't you just buy a pickle, buy a pizza, put pickles on that pizza, and then eat the pickle pizza?  But people apparently were waiting 90 minutes to pay nine bucks for a slice of that, then post themselves posing with said pizza for Instagram.  It's ridiculous ... but it's the State Fair.  I mean, I didn't line up for that, but obviously I lined up for UHK and some people thought I was stupid, so I know the mass hysteria and the FOMO that causes people to get in line for a long time for buzzy food.

Still though ... pickle pizza?

Maybe I Should Just Let My Fantasy Football League Die

The fantasy football league I run, which is technically a cash league but whose members don't usually pay unless I beg and cajole, had its auction last/Wednesday night.  I was so jazzed for it.  I was afraid that I'd get so busy in The Fourth Department that I would be late for it, and when it got really crazy in the afternoon, I decided that I would just leave and leave the work till the morning.

I actually rallied to the point where I got out of there at 5 -- a half-hour later than my usual shift end, but an hour before the auction begins.  Good, I thought; I could get some fast food, bring it and have time to study before the auction begins.  Unfortunately, everybody was at Culver's for dinner that time of evening, and I waited 15-20 minutes before I got my food.  I got home in time, but only enough for me to pee, wash my hands, turn on and plug in my computer, and get to Yahoo! Sports before the clock struck 6.  No studying besides the Excel customizable cheat sheet courtesy of The Athletic.

But I made it!  And I'm going to talk to all the other guys in the league and we're going to talk shit to each other and rag on each other's bidding.  But the auction begins and there's only one other person on there with me.  All the others, at least to start the auction, have the two circular, clockwise-direction arrows, indicating they're auto-auctioning.  Two other owners quickly pop in and out, for some unknown reason.  And I know that two of the three who bothered to show up are my best friend's sons.

The other league I'm in (in which I am not the Commissioner) held its draft two days before, on Labor Night.  There were a dozen "owners" total, I think all of them showed up, and our draft got done in, say, 1:15 to 1:20.  With fewer players playing in our league, and all but two-to-four of them giving enough of damn to hop on for just a hot minute, we had no intriguing bidding wars where four, five of us would dare each other to top $70, $75, even $80 (which I "paid" for Jonathan Taylor) for three solid minutes.  We got done just under an hour when I thought we would go two.

I don't know where the hell everyone else went.  Now, of the eight of us (yeah, there are only eight now in this league), there usually are one or two people who didn't make it to previous auctions.  But this was way, way different.  We have never had an auction where so many people didn't show up.  And I don't know why.  I customarily select the night before the first Game of the NFL season -- so basically the first Wednesday in September -- to do our auction so we get the latest dirt on players, and most of them acted like they knew what day the auction was, didn't mind the time of the auction, and enjoyed themselves while we built our rosters.  But last night, our auction was a ghost town.

It felt, I'm afraid, like people just stopped caring.  They cared last Year, when we were getting out of the coronavirus pandemic, but not this Year?  It's hard to hold on to tradition, and our run is a long and a good one.  But if people in the league no longer view this as an event to look forward to ... well, then it's apparent that this fantasy football league is no longer enjoyable to them.  And if the other guys don't show up for the auction next year and the ones after that -- why should we even continue with this league any longer?

My Meeting In The Morning

So I and the two others who currently cover The Fourth Department have a meeting with the boss first thing this morning.  I don't know what about ... except that I kind of do know what it's about ... and I'm afraid we're going to talk about what I kind of know what this is about.

I have frustrations over the job, many times over.  And I'm not looking forward to the rest of the week, because I'm stuck there till the end of the week.  I need to let everyone there know my thoughts on how things could go better, but at the same time I'm worried that other people's critiques will reflect poorly on me.  If someone verbalizes things that way, I'm scared I would feel I have no choice other than to be defensive over it.  Also, if I just shut my mouth and say everything's fine, then that increases the possibility nothing changes over there that need to be changed.

---

Hey.  I wrote the above two statements before going to bed.  I'm writing from here forward after just getting up.  And actually ... I don't think anything can be changed.  Well, they can be.  And I do have frustrations with the job.  But after sleeping on it, I don't know if the "recommendations" I had in my head make any sense.  I guess I conflated my frustrations with possible suggestions to make things better when I realize I don't have many suggestions to, well, suggest.

So I guess I am just going to sit there at this meeting in an hour.  Well, I still might get defensive is someone says something I don't like, but otherwise, I think ... I might ... just sit there.

All The Food That's About To Spoil

My parents did a real good job storing away all the food in the fridge I saw Saturday.  However, there are still a lot of perishable items that need to be eaten or otherwise disposed of, including:

• 4 bananas
• 1 1/4 loves of white bread
• 4 ... uh, pastries which Mother filled with a sliced hot dog -- very good
• 1/5 gallon of 2% milk
• 3 apples
• an opened package of cheese, the kind that spoils, not the pasteurized one that can last for years
• by the way, there are 2 packages of the kind of cheese that don't spoil and can last for years
• and several slices of cucumbers

Lot more stuff in the freezer, where they can last for years as well, thank Buddha.  But I'm under the damn gun trying to figure out what I can eat and when.  For example, there were three small cups of fried rice I had Mother lay out in the refrigerator while she stashed the other cups of fried rice she made (and I think she made at least a dozen) in the freezer.  I ate the first cup last/Monday/Labor Night right before my fantasy football draft.  I just ate the second cup, and I am eating the third cup after I blog post this.  Part of me was hungry, part of me is pissed off and sickened by this unlawful ruling by "Judge" (actually fucking Trump whore) Aileen Cannon singlehandedly stopping the investigation into Trump stealing classified documents, but I think some of it is me wondering how I can eat all of this stuff before any of it goes bad.  I'm too busy to exercise this week, but I'll need to work out soon.

In the meantime, I don't know if I'll get to all the fruit.  I might just bring it to work and let someone else take all but one banana and apple.  I might buy cereal for the milk, and I'll need to eventually buy deli meats (Oscar Mayer, not the fancy but spoilable stuff) to go after the cheese and the bread.  The cucumbers and the hot dog pastries I'll fit in someday ... and I'm sure something will eventually go bad anyway, hrmph.

State Fair Thoughts

Today/Monday/Labor Day was the last of three days I went to the Minnesota State Fair.  And while the lines were longer than I remember them from last year and 2019 and before then, all three days I was truly grateful to see so many people (although I think final attendance numbers will be a lot lower than what The Media and people say they saw) having fun and hanging out with their friends and loved ones.  And frankly, the hot women showing off their bellies was something I was looking forward to, too.

What I was not looking forward to, and what I didn't expect?  The cutting in lines.  I swear it wasn't as bad as it had been in years past.  I blame Trump and the pandemic.

I got really pissed when I was trying to queue up for the bus taking me back to the lot where I parked my car.  I was about to round this metal barrier when this young, hot bitch (who wasn't showing off her belly, pffft) cut in front of me and stopped right at the end of the barrier because that's where the line ended.  I got so upset that another young person again cut in front of me that, because I was standing right there behind her, I said, "Hey."  And she said, "Hey," and probably thought I was going to kidnap her, so she and her friends went up the line and cut in front of more people.  Maybe my anger at her came off as something creepy.  OK, it did come off as creepy.  I just had no way to call out that bitch for cutting in line.  And then she and her friends were going to beat me out of the church parking lot, so even though they got off the bus first (I had a slow, old woman asking the bus driver questions while she and the others in the back went out through the back exit -- forgot about the back exit, dammit), I sprinted to my minivan because I wanted to beat them onto the street because I'm a petty, passive-aggressive son-of-a-bitch.  I showed her, didn't I?  No, I probably made her think that I was weird.  And that I run funny.  Fuck it, who cares, I did have a fantasy football draft to get to.

---

Oh yeah, one other thing.  Because of that goddamn shooting Saturday night, I believe security ramped up the use of metal detectors.  That made things really bad getting into the Fair today/Monday because I had to wait a good, oh, 5-10 minutes.  I literally carried my things in my hands to show them all the things that could set off the detector, I was told to walk through the detector, I set off the detector, and some "security" guard leaning against a metal rail pointed with her free hand to the side where another "security" guard was.  And then I waited another five minutes before I was told by that "security" guard to go through another detector, which I did not set off, and so she just waved me through.

Total shitshow.  I understand why.  Thank the gods above The Great Minnesota Get-Together somehow has not had a really bad gun incident like the one Saturday night (and, now that I see on Twitter, tonight).  But frankly, if the lines getting in are going to be long, and the lines getting to food are going to be long, and if people are just going to be rude and stupid ... well, that takes the sheen off of the Minnesota State Fair.

I started off this blog post saying how much I love the Fair, didn't I?

So I went back to the State Fair today/tonight, and I waited in line at Union Hmong Kitchen again.  The first time, last Saturday, I waited in line for a tad over a half-hour.  This time around, I waited in line for a bit over 50 minutes.

The chicken I got was real good.  The spice that rubbed off on the purple Hmong rice made the rice very yummy.  I also got the scallion sauce, and that actually improved upon the food, instead of setting my mouth on fire.  Another great meal.  But was it worth waiting 50 minutes?  I don't know if any food is worth waiting 50 minutes.

So MNUFC got shamed at home yesterday/Saturday by FC Dallas, 3-0.  All three of their Goals came within, like, five Minutes.

I'm glad I wasn't there to witness that embarrassment; I was preparing to watch my alma mater's football Game.  So I gave my ticket to my friend.  He texted me after, thanking me for the ticket, even though they lost.  Well, he didn't say that exactly, but I didn't know the score because I was running around and sleeping and trying to prepare for the Game.  Once I got his text, I looked up the score and, oof.

So now I feel bad about my friend watching that horrible, horrible Loss.  But then, I'm glad I didn't have to see that shit.  And then I feel sort-of guilty for feeling glad I avoided watching that defeat, only for my friend to see it instead.  Oy.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  So despite all the foofooraw of former Gopher Head Coach Jerry Kill taking potshots at current U. HC P. J. Fleck about Fleck being all ungrateful and shit, they apparently hugged it out before the Game.  And then Fleck and Minnesota proceeded to road-grade Kill's New Mexico St. Aggies to the tune of 38-0.  Sure, it may be the poorest and most-enfeebled top-flight college football program in the country.  It and Idaho were in the same boat not too long ago of not being able to find a conference.  The Vandals responded by dropping down into the second division.  Instead of doing the same, NMSU stuck to its guns and, after a few Years in The Independent Wasteland, will latch on to the desperate-as-fuck Conference USA beginning next Year.  At least the program is cashing in those bodybag checks.

Seriously, though, this is a good Win for the Gophers because of what it represents.  Not too long ago -- last Year versus Bowling Green, for example -- you could not even foresee the U. beating less-resourced opponents soundly or consistently.  A thorough, professional, well-thought-out Win like this shows fans that people who run the program know what they're doing, and that they are not going to mess around with teams they should beat.  Teams including second-division Western Illinois, who come to Huntington early Saturday afternoon to get the shit kicked out of them in order to get that sweet, sweet guarantee-Game money.

#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  Swept Big Ten/Big 12 host TCU Saturday.  Then on Wednesday they returned the home-and-home favor and visiting Texas -- top-ranked team in the country Texas -- and, like last Year, lost to the Longhorns in four Sets.  No shame in the fourth-ranked team in the country losing to #1.  And again, while it's getting stultifying to see the U. volleyballers come up short season after season, I nonetheless appreciate the program continuing to schedule against the best.  That include a showdown with #13 Florida in the first home Game of the season for the squad on Sunday; hopefully I'll be able to get in.  They then host the Big Ten/Pac-12 Challenge starting with Oregon Friday night.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: 0).  I've talked about the fantastic run these guys have head for much of the summer, but I neglected to frame those results within their roster situation; the injury has bit this XI very hard in 2022.  Very early in the Loons' 2-1 come-from-behind victory over the Houston Dynamo last Saturday, Bakaye Dibassy ruptured the quadricep tendon in his right leg.  He joins Hassani Dotson and Jacori Hayes as being done for the rest of the Year.

It seemed like a perfect fit for USMNT Center Back John Brooks, who mysteriously was not playing for anyone, to come and not only fill the hole left behind by Dibassy but possibly (probably?) improve it.  That was a pipe dream, however, and Thursday he signed with Portuguese squad Benfica.  Instead, the organization will rely on an oldie, though not necessarily a goodie: Brent Kallman.  He is the last of the players who were with MNUFC when they were a lower-division side, and when he re-signed with Minnesota in the off-season, I was happy and even touched that that cord to the humble beginnings of this club remained.

Sadly, however, it is readily apparent up to this season that his work on the pitch has not been stellar, or even average.  Wednesday's 3-0 demolition at the hands of hosts Real Salt Lake can be attributed to Manager Adrian Heath not starting Luis Amarilla or Robin Lod, and/or not even bringing Franco Fragapane into the Game, and/or not even bringing Emmanuel Reynoso on the trip.  But if a good-but-several-places-below-you side puts three past you, I'm willing to bet Kallman had something to do with it.  I feel really bad saying this, but I think it's time to put the MNUFC's/the Minnesota Stars'/the Minnesota Thunder's past in the past by saying thank you and good bye to the Woodbury native.  It has been six Years playing for the Loons in the top flight, after all.

That speed bump really hasn't damaged Minnesota's postseason hopes; they still technically are in third in the West.  But they have a huge Match coming up this/Saturday afternoon at Allianz Field versus FC Dallas, the team technically in fourth in the West.  I expect to see Rey, Lod, Fragapane and Amarilla in the starting XI for this clash.

#-4: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Finished a home sweep of The Bastard New York Giants, then won the first two Games of a three-Game series at home vs. The Boston Red Sox, only for their comeback to come up short Wednesday, 6-5, which broke a five-Game winning streak.  They then lost last/Friday night at Comiskey against the White Sox, 4-3, a Game in which the Twinks held leads of 2-0 and 3-2, and the Game-ending Fielder's Choice in the bottom of the Ninth Inning (courtesy of White Sock Jose Abreu) was preceded by a Game-ending Hit By Pitch on Abreu that was ruled a Foul because it hit the bat instead of the batter ... which was preceded by an HBP to Andrew Vaughn that cleared both benches and both Bullpens:

The big saving grace to the Twins' Week: They're only a Game back of Cleveland because the Guardians have lost four out of their last five Games.

This is a very, very big Week for the hometown Nine.  After finishing their trio with the Pale Hose, they travel to The Bronx for four Games beginning Labor Day (actually Afternoon), who are scuffling like mad (in August they lost two out of every three Games they played) but rightfully see the Twinks as their slump-buster.  Then on Friday, they have a three-Game series against said Guardians at Target.

#-5: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2).  Well, at least they broke their pattern of giving up Goals after the 75th Minute.  On Sunday afternoon, playing a true road Match against Mississippi St., they allowed a Goal in the 53rd Minute, and that Goal stuck as the winning margin for the Bulldogs.  They responded on Thursday afternoon (?) by notching their first Win of the season, 4-0 over Drake (largely on the strength of a Hat Trick by Izzy Brown), but hey, it's only Drake.  This Week: At North Dakota Sunday, home to Nebraska-Omaha Thursday.

#-6: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  They haven't played a meaningful Game, that's right.  But with them losing to Denver last Saturday, they went winless in all three of their preseason Games.  My rule is: If you win an exhibition, it doesn't matter, but if you lose them, and especially if you lose all of them, that's a sign of a bad team.  It's not a fair rule, but I'm sticking to it.

I'll make this prediction now: 5-12.

Sorry, Father, But Wrong Move

My parents have been, shall we say, putting a bow on things around the house before they, well, return home to Las Vegas.  Father "tidied up" my bedroom, but he did do my laundry, too.  And then spent most of yesterday/Thursday stockpiling food that will take me forever to eat, including what appears to be a whole steer's worth of beef ribs, each cut into individual portions to, I assume, eventually be put into the freezer for me to eat until they come back, which probably is around March.  Until then, all those ribs, plus a bunch of other stuff, is still stuffing the refrigerator.  Half the stuff I won't get to until next year, the other half I don't eat.  Where is this all going to go?

One big mistake, however.  Just because he wanted to do things before he left, My Father, let's just say, secured the outside air conditioner unit.  He put the tarp on, and secured it with a tie-down bungee cord or two.  You need to do that to protect the unit from the snow in the winter.  My Father did it not just because he wanted to do it, but also because the weather lately has been moderate enough for us to forego using the AC.  Until this week.

I think this blindsided all of us, but at least since Wednesday, it's been hot and humid.  I didn't think the forecasts said it'd be this hot and humid, but right now, specifically tonight and as I write this, I sure as hell could use the damn AC.  But we can't; the outside unit is capped now, and running it with the tarp will just overheat and destroy the unit.  So I brought up a fan from downstairs, and I am going to strip myself naked and, maybe, sleep over the covers.  But dammit, it's going to be one uncomfortable night.

I understand why Father did it.  It's just a mistake, that's all.

Being A Sugar Daddy Isn't Part Of Our Relationship

So not one but two stripper girlfriends have hit me up for money over the past week.  This is not a case where they ask me, "Hey, sailor, you want me to cum over and give you a good time?"  You see, it's back to school time, and most Minnesota schools start class the day after Labor Day, and so both of my stripper girlfriends have asked if I could do them a huge favor and give them money through an app because they need to buy school supplies for their kids and they're a little short this time of year and blah, blah, blah.

Although I don't explicitly remember, I'm pretty sure this is not the first time I have been asked for money for their kids' school supplies.  In fact, I think it was at least one of these two who asked.  And I gave money to both of them.  And yes, I have huge reservations in doing that.  So why did I do it?  Lending money is something friends, or "friends," do for each other.  I want to remain in their good graces.  And this might be the wrong way to go, but I am grateful to ***e* for jerking me off all these years and to *u**** for fucking me and for sucking my dick the other day.

This time around, though, I said this is not me giving money to them.  This is an advance.  I am paying the money now in exchange for sexual favors I expect them to give me later, and without asking for any money in return.  I think I have asked politely for such an arrangement before, probably with ***e*, but this time around, seeing that as much money appears to be flowing out of my bank as appears to be going in, I felt kind of besieged when first ***e* and then, a few days later, *u**** both hit me up.  It appears as though they talked to each other between the time the former and the latter asked me for money whereby the former went, "Yeah, if you need money, go ask Unforgivable Wetness -- he gave me money, he might give you money, too!"  And as much as I love ***e*, I think that's what happened, and I kind of resent that.  What I can't be is a sugar daddy.

So, as much as I would like to help, I had to signal to them that I won't be a pushover.  I expect that the next time I see them, they'll get me off, and they will know not to expect any money back.  Like I said, the HJ, BJ and/or RJ is paid for.  I think they will honor that.  We're friends with benefits after all, right?  But do I know for sure?  No.  And that both scares and saddens me.