#-1: Gopher football (Re-Entry!). So despite all the foofooraw of former Gopher Head Coach Jerry Kill taking potshots at current U. HC P. J. Fleck about Fleck being all ungrateful and shit, they apparently hugged it out before the Game. And then Fleck and Minnesota proceeded to road-grade Kill's New Mexico St. Aggies to the tune of 38-0. Sure, it may be the poorest and most-enfeebled top-flight college football program in the country. It and Idaho were in the same boat not too long ago of not being able to find a conference. The Vandals responded by dropping down into the second division. Instead of doing the same, NMSU stuck to its guns and, after a few Years in The Independent Wasteland, will latch on to the desperate-as-fuck Conference USA beginning next Year. At least the program is cashing in those bodybag checks.
Seriously, though, this is a good Win for the Gophers because of what it represents. Not too long ago -- last Year versus Bowling Green, for example -- you could not even foresee the U. beating less-resourced opponents soundly or consistently. A thorough, professional, well-thought-out Win like this shows fans that people who run the program know what they're doing, and that they are not going to mess around with teams they should beat. Teams including second-division Western Illinois, who come to Huntington early Saturday afternoon to get the shit kicked out of them in order to get that sweet, sweet guarantee-Game money.
#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1). Swept Big Ten/Big 12 host TCU Saturday. Then on Wednesday they returned the home-and-home favor and visiting Texas -- top-ranked team in the country Texas -- and, like last Year, lost to the Longhorns in four Sets. No shame in the fourth-ranked team in the country losing to #1. And again, while it's getting stultifying to see the U. volleyballers come up short season after season, I nonetheless appreciate the program continuing to schedule against the best. That include a showdown with #13 Florida in the first home Game of the season for the squad on Sunday; hopefully I'll be able to get in. They then host the Big Ten/Pac-12 Challenge starting with Oregon Friday night.
#-3: United FC (Last Week: 0). I've talked about the fantastic run these guys have head for much of the summer, but I neglected to frame those results within their roster situation; the injury has bit this XI very hard in 2022. Very early in the Loons' 2-1 come-from-behind victory over the Houston Dynamo last Saturday, Bakaye Dibassy ruptured the quadricep tendon in his right leg. He joins Hassani Dotson and Jacori Hayes as being done for the rest of the Year.
It seemed like a perfect fit for USMNT Center Back John Brooks, who mysteriously was not playing for anyone, to come and not only fill the hole left behind by Dibassy but possibly (probably?) improve it. That was a pipe dream, however, and Thursday he signed with Portuguese squad Benfica. Instead, the organization will rely on an oldie, though not necessarily a goodie: Brent Kallman. He is the last of the players who were with MNUFC when they were a lower-division side, and when he re-signed with Minnesota in the off-season, I was happy and even touched that that cord to the humble beginnings of this club remained.
Sadly, however, it is readily apparent up to this season that his work on the pitch has not been stellar, or even average. Wednesday's 3-0 demolition at the hands of hosts Real Salt Lake can be attributed to Manager Adrian Heath not starting Luis Amarilla or Robin Lod, and/or not even bringing Franco Fragapane into the Game, and/or not even bringing Emmanuel Reynoso on the trip. But if a good-but-several-places-below-you side puts three past you, I'm willing to bet Kallman had something to do with it. I feel really bad saying this, but I think it's time to put the MNUFC's/the Minnesota Stars'/the Minnesota Thunder's past in the past by saying thank you and good bye to the Woodbury native. It has been six Years playing for the Loons in the top flight, after all.
That speed bump really hasn't damaged Minnesota's postseason hopes; they still technically are in third in the West. But they have a huge Match coming up this/Saturday afternoon at Allianz Field versus FC Dallas, the team technically in fourth in the West. I expect to see Rey, Lod, Fragapane and Amarilla in the starting XI for this clash.
#-4: Twins (Last Week: -3). Finished a home sweep of The Bastard New York Giants, then won the first two Games of a three-Game series at home vs. The Boston Red Sox, only for their comeback to come up short Wednesday, 6-5, which broke a five-Game winning streak. They then lost last/Friday night at Comiskey against the White Sox, 4-3, a Game in which the Twinks held leads of 2-0 and 3-2, and the Game-ending Fielder's Choice in the bottom of the Ninth Inning (courtesy of White Sock Jose Abreu) was preceded by a Game-ending Hit By Pitch on Abreu that was ruled a Foul because it hit the bat instead of the batter ... which was preceded by an HBP to Andrew Vaughn that cleared both benches and both Bullpens:
The big saving grace to the Twins' Week: They're only a Game back of Cleveland because the Guardians have lost four out of their last five Games.
This is a very, very big Week for the hometown Nine. After finishing their trio with the Pale Hose, they travel to The Bronx for four Games beginning Labor Day (actually Afternoon), who are scuffling like mad (in August they lost two out of every three Games they played) but rightfully see the Twinks as their slump-buster. Then on Friday, they have a three-Game series against said Guardians at Target.
#-5: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2). Well, at least they broke their pattern of giving up Goals after the 75th Minute. On Sunday afternoon, playing a true road Match against Mississippi St., they allowed a Goal in the 53rd Minute, and that Goal stuck as the winning margin for the Bulldogs. They responded on Thursday afternoon (?) by notching their first Win of the season, 4-0 over Drake (largely on the strength of a Hat Trick by Izzy Brown), but hey, it's only Drake. This Week: At North Dakota Sunday, home to Nebraska-Omaha Thursday.
#-6: Vikings (Re-Entry!). They haven't played a meaningful Game, that's right. But with them losing to Denver last Saturday, they went winless in all three of their preseason Games. My rule is: If you win an exhibition, it doesn't matter, but if you lose them, and especially if you lose all of them, that's a sign of a bad team. It's not a fair rule, but I'm sticking to it.
I'll make this prediction now: 5-12.
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