Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: August 2022

Since that month was mostly spent in my drawer, I have had to linger on this month for a while now to take all ten babes in even though I hung it up in September after my parents left.  It's time to make a judgement, and it's based on a sentiment I have heard is misogynistic: I like women who smile.  Now I get that that statement might sound creepy, but I say that it's only from creeps and groomers who spit out that yang in some craven way to get tail.  Smiling is a gesture of kindness and grace in society.  You approach someone with a smile, you are more likely to get what you want because you are saying that you are a nice person who appreciates what that person can do for you.  There is a rightful currency in public for smiling, and I don't think I should be canceled because I think this way.

As it applies to Hooters waitresses showing skin, I have gone back and forth between five of the ten who stand out for August '22.  I keep looking at the month and re-evaluating, but eventually I believe that, at least for this month, I prefer the ones who are smiling.

So, in ascending order:

In fifth place is Sierra of Ft. Myers, Fla.  Blonde with a periwinkle two-piece bikini, she is smiling and reclining, but sorry, her arm in front of her is a big distraction.  This would be an awesome picture if that arm weren't there.  (Now, I wouldn't know where Sierra should put that arm instead without falling over, but, well, that's how I feel.)

In fourth place is Baylee, hailing from Brandon, Fla.  Another blonde with long hair; green-blue two-piece, and she's clutching the sides of her bikini bottom.  But she's not smiling.  No, she's not frowning either, she's just got neutral expression.  And that's OK, but she's on this list mostly because of her stunning body.

In third place is Alyssa, out of Brunswick, Geo.  Long blond hair; two-piece bikini; and like with Baylee, Alyssa is clutching the sides of her bottom, alluding to her pussy.  She's shown with her body directly facing the camera, which is a very good thing.  The problem: She's not smiling, and for her and this photograph, it's a drawback.

In second place is Brianna, of Joliet, Ill.  Long brown hair, very light blue (maybe eggshell?) two-piece.  And yeah, she's smiling, and very broadly, and that makes her sexy in a very cute way.  The only downside to her photo: She has her arms crossed in front of her.  I think she's got a great bod, and I wish I could only see it.

Finally, in first place is Lexi, out of Davenport, Iowa.  The fourth out of the five with long blonde hair, and the third out of the five wearing a perwinkle/very light blue/eggshell two-piece bikini.  She's a little small up top, but that's no crime.  I love that she has her arms holding her head.  But her smile, though not as wide as that of Brianna (it may be more of a smirk, albeit a sexy one) makes that entire shot.

So, congratulations to Lexi, and to all the others who I have pointed out.  I will masturbate to you -- when I have time, which I hope to have before the end of September, because I don't want a backlog of Hooters months to jerk off to.