My Meeting In The Morning

So I and the two others who currently cover The Fourth Department have a meeting with the boss first thing this morning.  I don't know what about ... except that I kind of do know what it's about ... and I'm afraid we're going to talk about what I kind of know what this is about.

I have frustrations over the job, many times over.  And I'm not looking forward to the rest of the week, because I'm stuck there till the end of the week.  I need to let everyone there know my thoughts on how things could go better, but at the same time I'm worried that other people's critiques will reflect poorly on me.  If someone verbalizes things that way, I'm scared I would feel I have no choice other than to be defensive over it.  Also, if I just shut my mouth and say everything's fine, then that increases the possibility nothing changes over there that need to be changed.

---

Hey.  I wrote the above two statements before going to bed.  I'm writing from here forward after just getting up.  And actually ... I don't think anything can be changed.  Well, they can be.  And I do have frustrations with the job.  But after sleeping on it, I don't know if the "recommendations" I had in my head make any sense.  I guess I conflated my frustrations with possible suggestions to make things better when I realize I don't have many suggestions to, well, suggest.

So I guess I am just going to sit there at this meeting in an hour.  Well, I still might get defensive is someone says something I don't like, but otherwise, I think ... I might ... just sit there.