Bothered Right Now, For Two Reasons

OK, OK, OK ... I am trying to write a blog post about finding a place with reliable-enough wi-fi to do my fantasy auction tomorrow, but I really can't right now.

First of all, I'm at Caffetto right now.  It's where I want to do my online auction.  There's free, long-term parking close by, or so I thought.  When I went there this morning, all the spaces I rely on, the ones that are usually open this time of day, were taken.  All of them!  And I'm like, What the fuck?!

So I had to go down a side street to see if there was any parking there.  And I did, on the other side of the street.  So I though I could do a quick quasi-U-turn at a four-way intersection because it was on a side street, you know?  So I hand turn the steering wheel to the right with the intention of swinging it all the way to the left and turn it all the way around without backing up.

But then I heard a huge honking horn.  I did not see this taxi that came up right behind me.  If I didn't stop and if he didn't stop, he would have run right into my left driver's-side wheel.  I was so flustered that I when I tried to back up I spun my wheels because I was in Neutral and not Reverse.

Bottom line, I'm glad I didn't get into a wreck.  And yeah, maybe I shouldn't have done that quasi-U-turn in the 8 o'clock hour in the morning at a side street that may still have been pretty busy.  But the taxi drivers around here are fucking crazy, and I don't know where the hell he came from, and he tore ass as soon as I backed off.  So I'm sure he sped up behind me when he wasn't supposed to.

OK, excuses.

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When I put my laptop down in Caffetto, I was the only person sitting down in the back room.  There were a couple people chillin' in the frontroom and there were people who I think wanted to take their drinks to go.  But once I got my drink to try and cool down from almost getting my car ruined, I was prepared to have some time and space to myself.

I think you know what happens next.  Another guy walks in; totally fine.  He has many tables to choose from because the back room is a big room.  Which one does he take?  The one right behind me.  I mean, it's like those times when you're peeing in a urinal in a men's room you're the only one in, and suddenly a guy walks in and takes the urinal right next to you.  (OK, I don't think this has ever happened to me.)  Does this prick have any consideration for my or even his personal space?  I'm shaking my head.

And this third guy comes in and takes the table right in front of me.  Three solitary men, bunched the fuck together in a corner of this back room because two of them are stupid.  Oh, and the guy who sat behind me chose not to talk loudly on his call.  Fuck these guys!

Spinning My Web Of Lies

It's great to have my sister and brother-in-law back home.  Honest!  But with that comes complications.  They naturally want to see family and old friends while they're here, and they want to visit some places while at home.  But it's hard to do all of that when my parents need to use their minivan for their real estate interests and as I have to go to "work" every day.

Nevertheless, they're only here for so long, and therefore I think I should, and could, be amenable.  My sis approached me tonight to try and make out what they could do before we leave on our trip.  One of the things they want to do is go to the State Fair, and she thought that they, her best friend and I could go Friday afternoon.  That's when I should be "working," and I told her that I took today off to go on an interview, and taking a second day off this week wouldn't look good.  However, the weather on Friday is supposed to be beautiful, Saturday apparently won't work, and Sunday, even though we're all free, is supposed be stormy and sticky.  So, Friday it is.

"So, hey," my sister continued, "We were thinking of two things.  Either all of us (she meant her, my brother-in-law, her best friend and I) could go to the State Fair most of the day ... or, we could take the car and just drop you off at work."

I may have recoiled so much she noticed.  See, I feel secure telling her the truth.  I have told her some things I haven't told my parents, such as that I did have an interview.  Now, that wasn't today, that was two weeks ago, but it's kind of the truth.  So I'm taken aback when she says something that reminds me I've lied to her, and so I have to mentally scramble to cover up my lie.

Luckily, she gave me an out.  "... or, is that too weird?" she said right after she thought they could take the car.  I took her offering, gladly: "Yeah, it's too weird."

I think it would be nice to hang out at the Fair with them, so I think I can break away for, like, half a day.  Still, missing 1 1/2 days out of a workweek should raise suspicions -- if not from my parents, then definitely from someone more hep, like my sister.

Either I have to keep up these lies or I have to hope that my family doesn't give a crap that I'm not working at all right now.

Oh Great, Wasps

This just frightened the shit out of me.  I got home yesterday, went to open my bedroom window, and saw this mass up on the window.  In case I haven't written about it, one half of the window, or a screen, or something, it broke and fell out of the house over the autumn.  That means that, presumably, the window opens to the outside.  I guess it already does, but there is no screen, which means large things, such as insects, can come inside.  Also, the things insects bring can come inside, too.  Lots of things.

Lots of things such as a nest.  See, at first I thought it was a small nest that was attached to the top side of my window.  But as looked closer, I saw that this wasn't a bird nest, with straws neatly laid on top of each other.  No, I saw hexagons lined up together.  And then I saw the hornets.

Well, OK, not hornets.  I am guessing these are wasps, paper wasps, and they found the underside of my open window a great place to begin forming a nest.  I don't know how long it's been there, but I know I saw at least one wasp that I eventually found dead in my room a couple weeks back.  I assume it's recent because, my God, there were several wasps on this nest, and I think that if they've been there for some time, I would have seen them in my room.  Also, on Monday (or was it Sunday?) night I got three bites on my feet.  I think they are mosquito bites because I think I would have seen a wasp if they were wasp bites, but I don't know for sure.

At any rate, I didn't know what the hell to do.  So I went to the U. entomology page and other pages on the Internet, and they said that bug spray should kill the nest.  So, before coming home, I'm going to Target and get some bug spray, and then, late at night, I will open up the window and murder them.

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But until then?  The window can't be open until I get home.  Yet I am absolutely scared that My Fucking Father is going to yell at me for not doing something about the wasp nest.  And on top of that I know he's going to fucking meddle over my room.  So, what to do?

I thought about just keeping the window closed and hoping he wouldn't fucking walk in my room and open the window.  But I assumed he would.  So, I grabbed a Post-It note and wrote "DON'T OPEN" and stuck it on the window.  And I immediately regretted it.  I am scared that My Fucking Father would go into my room, look at my note on the window, then wait for me to come home and yell at me for being lazy and not doing something about a nest that obviously anyone would have seen as soon as the first piece of nest was nailed to the window.  Or, even worse, he would look at the note, find the nest, and take it upon himself to kill the nest himself, and he would do it in the middle of the day when the wasps are awake and they'll start stinging the shit out of him.  So when I finally get home with the bug spray, My Fucking Father, bites all over his goddamn face, will start screaming at me, "Your room is so dirty, bees like to build nests in your room!  Clean your room!!!"  And then I'll tell him that I just discovered the nest in the morning (even though I saw it yesterday evening, whatever), and then I'll start yelling back at him, "Well, if you would get my goddamn window fixed the wasps wouldn't get into my window, you fucking lazy asshole!"  And maybe the argument will get so bad that the roadtrip is off.

So let's see what happens tonight.

Despite having just coffee at Anelace yesterday, I stuffed my face with sandwiches and chips at the stripper party I went to that afternoon.  And then I had a banana while exercising, just before I went home to eat dinner.

My God, I continue to stuff my face.  Last night while watching SYTYCD: TNG I couldn't help but jiggle my gut.  Bleeping Lord, I can just shake that thing and it looks like flesh-colored Jello.

I hope I curb the calories for at least this day.  Had a cookie to go with my coffee just now, but I'm going to work out, and then for "lunch" I'm having a popcorn and pop while continuing watching the Jason Bourne series.  Wish me luck.

So something weird happened this morning.  My Father bellowed out to me after dinner to help screw in an overhead oven light.  While helping him, he told me that Mother fell in the bathroom in the morning, and he even yelled out to me for help.

Had no idea, none.  Didn't hear any screaming from downstairs.  And when I left, I looked around, didn't see either parental unit, grabbed a banana, went downstairs to the front door, looked downstairs, saw no light and heard no commotion, and I left.  Nothing was amiss, and I certainly didn't feel as though someone got hurt.

You know, this reminds me of the time the siding of the house was being replaced.  They were working on it from sun up till end of the work day, and I would just be sitting in my room watching TV and shit.  (This is when neither I nor my parents gave a shit I was at home during the day, mostly because they were still working and I was taking care of Grandmother.)  One morning I heard a siren, and then it stopped.  Didn't think much of it until I left the house; at the front yard one of the guys working on the house said that his co-worker fell from a ladder while working on some upper-level siding.  The siren was the fire truck EMT taking him to the hospital.  I think he was working just outside of the room I was lolling around in.

So what I'm trying to say is shit happens.  I didn't hear this contractor fall to the ground from two stories up, and I didn't hear Father ask for me while I was sleeping.  He told me that Mother at first wanted to go to the emergency room, but then after a while she said she was fine.  I wonder if I should bring it up, but I won't, because they haven't given two shits about what I'm going through, and if I do show concern, I think Mother is going to launch into yelling at me for something else that is a projection of her anger that I didn't help her in her time of need.  See, she didn't talk to me at all last night, so that means that she could just launch into some bullshit accusations at me from out of the blue.  Could happen during dinner tonight, which is a couple hours before I have to pick up my sister and brother-in-law from the airport.  And shit, there's no knowing whether My Fucking Father would hold me not heeding his cries (like a loyal son should) either.  Both of those fuckers could really come after me for something I didn't even realize happened.

Expenses Without Receipts

OK, starting from Sunday, August 28th:

• After working the Vikings game I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) to chill.  I immediately locked eyes with Selena, a $5 chick who I nonetheless want to make peace with because I'm not sure if I can just not tip her ever without causing a scene whenever I walk in and she's working.  I hope she knows that I'll never tip her what she wants to be tipped, but to make up for it I'll get a dance from her.  It might be my first LD with Selena.  With coffee and tip: $27.75.
• Saturday the 27th: I was at a crossroads in the afternoon.  I went to Brit's to catch some soccer, then I went to the library to finally wear away the backlog in my e-mail (should talk about that soon).  I wanted to go home early so I could mow the lawn; I wouldn't have time the next day because I was working the Vikes game.  But despite forecasts saying that rain would hold off, I still saw and felt drizzle at times over the afternoon, and the skies above still looked threatening.  Besides, I didn't want to come home and immediately go to the frontyard only for my parents (in particular Mother) to tell me, "Why are you mowing?  Can't you see it's going to rain?"  I was going to go home and try and do it anyway, but after seeing it drizzle again, I didn't think it made sense to mow, especially if I was going to dodge rain off and on over the afternoon.  That would mean the lawn wouldn't be mowed for two weeks, but there was nothing else I could do.  But what would I do for the rest of the afternoon -- go home?  Uh, fuck that.  So, even though I really didn't want to go because I left one of the discount tickets I bought at home, I decided to go to the State Fair.  I had many reasons to do this, foremost among them that The Buzzed-About New Food at the State Fair, the Carpe Diem (basically ice cream in a cone shaped like a fish -- get it?), was going to end on Tuesday, and I didn't think I would have the time to get there before then.  So I bit the bullet, bought a ticket at full price there (guess I'll be going to the Fair four times, a record!), and bought it.  I don't know if it's the best ice cream I've ever had, but I'll tell you, the cone, which was baked with miso, really makes the item.  Bought pizza and a small root beer with coupons, too.  All told: $23.
• To Friday the 26th, where, because I had work at the U., I went to Anelace to start my morning.  Bought a chocolate chip cookie, which was notably good.  With tip: $6.
• After the MRI machine I inveighed through this crisis, then I went to see *e***.  We texted back and forth because our tryst was supposed to happen earlier in the week, and she was being a bit cranky as we tried to reschedule.  When I went to her house, she explained why: She is very worried about the health of her son.  Very well.  It was really nice to actually talk to her about her life.  You see, I get my cock sucked and jerked off by a lot of women, but I don't want them to be strangers to me; I really want to know the women who I'm fooling around with.  Such is the case here.  *e*** is important to me, because what she is doing to me is something very intimate, and this isn't something I really want to do with someone I don't care to know.  (I haven't been truly loyal to that idea, and I probably won't be, but this is totally my preference.)  My cost for her services rendered: $150.
• Thursday, August 25 was the start of the State Fair, and it's become somewhat of a tradition (helped that I am unemployed around this time often) that I go in the morning of the first day.  Armed with the Blue Ribbon Bargain Book, I went to town on eats and drinks: a mocha frappe, CinnaSmiths cinnamon buns, the breakfast burrito from Tejas I have heard is real good (I think it's merely good), the World's Best French Fries, and this sangria beer from Schell's.  It is thus important to walk all around the Fair to walk off all those calories.  With the tip for the beer, but minus the breaks from all the coupons I used, and the damage was only: $20.
• I had to work off even more of the weight, so I slipped out of the Fair in time to work out at the gym.  But I was so damn thirsty from all that walking that I got a Powerade from one of the vending machnes there: $1.50.
• On Wednesday the 24th I started off at Caribou.  I spent enough money to get a 10% break on this creme brulee mocha, a drink that will appear on menus presumably after Labor Day.  I was told by one of the baristas -- actually the one that kind of didn't get that medium coffees are discounted for the month of August -- that this mocha is great if you have a sweet tooth.  I've discovered that I no longer have a sweet tooth; my God, that was too sweet!  With tip (no cookie): $5.25.
• In the afternoon I went to Hooters to use my Mug Club Card before it expires in early September.  But they have a new menu out with specials that more fit my smaller stomach.  I couldn't use my card, though.  I think I'll go down there again this week.  But I don't know if I'll get a mug-sized beer because, on the one hand, I don't want to spend money on food I'm not hungry to eat, but on the other hand, if I don't use the card I won't know if I can get it renewed.  That's a long story; anyway, I was hungry enough to buy a cupcake from Cupcake before they close down for good.  With tip: $3.25.
• Tuesday, August 23 -- Caribou in the morn ... medium coffee on special, cookie, tip: 3.25.
• The movie I saw on this discount Tuesday was The Secret Life Of Pets.  I thought it would be a little more savvy than it was, but for the first part of the flick I was really bored because the jokes and action was totally geared toward kids.  But then Kevin Hart's cat showed up, and the movie actually got some sass to it.  Started meh, ending pretty good.  Grade: B.  I noticed that the price for the ticket, popcorn and pop was, for some reason, 80 cents less than it usually is.  I don't know why that is; is it because it's a cartoon, or did the person serving me make a mistake?  Total: $9.64.
• I took Father to the airport that evening -- he had to go Las Vegas for a quick bit -- and I ignored his entreaty to go directly home and instead went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) for coffee, tips and a lapper from this chick named Maria, who has invited me to a house party and groped my dick.  The total was: $25.75.

Good through August 28.

Nervous About Working At The New Metrodome (Scheduled Post)

While it's exciting to be working in U.S. Bank Stadium for the Vikings' exhibition game today against The Soon-To-Be-Again Los Angeles Chargers, I am very nervous.  Never mind I might run into that asshole Vikings prick or eventually work with that crew that turned on me.  My job will be to run and get stuff.  And obviously I don't know how to run and get stuff if I don't know where anything is.  So while it would be nice to get myself acclimated to the guts of the new stadium and revel in the fact that I am about to see what most people will never see, I have a job to do and I don't know how in the hell to do it.

Seems kind of unfair.  When the Vikes were at TCF Bank Stadium I was hired for both weekend days.  That meant that that Saturday I was able to walk all over the stadium and figure out where everything was without too much pressure to get this up to the booth, say, or run out and make some copies.  I will have no time to learn U.S. Bank Stadium, and frankly, that unnerves the hell out of me.

Some other local replied to the person hiring us asking if he could come and work (and be paid, presumably) Saturday too.  (I know this because he replied all when he shouldn't have.)  Traditionally only one runner is asked to work both Saturday and Sunday, and they already found a guy, so I doubt that he was granted that request.  But it's smart.  I wish I had the stones to ask that too -- and I would have the good sense not to reply all.

Wish me luck that I don't get set up and fired for not knowing where everything is.

The Drawbacks To Deciding To Do Things On The Fly

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The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher soccer (Re-Entry!).  And the bloating of the WMNSS begins. ...

I wanted to attend the home opener of the University of Minnesota women's soccer season (and really the American college sports season) Sunday where they were facing a team that you don't see around these parts much, Utah, but, well, the second asshole happened.  It would've been sweet to see the U. thrash the Utes 3-0.  And since they began its season Friday by beating the Kansas Jayhawks in Lawrence, Kans., 2-1, they've gotten off on the right foot.

As a result they Gophers, who I believe were not in the polls before the season began, now are -- 15th to 17th, depending on which poll you see.  It should be yet another good season for the U., who are now senior-laden, led by Seniors Simone Kolander and Josee Stiever, the latter of whom was named B1G Offensive Player Of The Week for scoring two goals and chipping in two assists in those two wins.  They will be looking up at Penn St., again, but they also be fighting with the likes of Northwestern and Ohio St. for what looks to be second place.

Guess I could go to tonight's (Friday night's) match against North Dakota, but ... it's North Dakota.  That game starts at 7.  I would much rather go to Sunday's game against Eastern Michigan, a solidly Divison I school, but I am working the Vikings exhibition game then.  That contest begins at 1.

#-Infinity: Twins (Last Week: -1).  Maybe it's because it's the lazy days of summer, or we're still in the afterglow of the Summer Olympics, or people are too busy gearing up for back to school, or maybe it's even because this squad has been playing out the string on this lost season for so, so long.  But, underneath the noses who have the good sense not to be fans of them while they're sucking this bad, the Twinks have quietly and humiliatingly turned in their shittiest week of an already demoralizing season.

They have lost all six games in this screening week -- all six.  Technically they're on a seven-game losing streak after losing last Thursday at Kansas City.  That defeat to the Royals commenced a four-game sweep, and as you can tell, if they've lost every single game this week, they got swept in their next series too, and they did, versus the Detroit Tigers.  So, yes, they've been swept for the second straight series.

Everything's falling apart now.  Byung-Ho Park has a gimpy wrist, so he'll have surgery and be shut down for the rest of the year.  Meanwhile, after stinking up the joint in yesterday (Thursday) afternoon's 8-5 loss Detroit (at home, no less), Jose Berrios, purportedly The Great White Hope for the Twinks, was sent back down to AAA ... and they sent Tyler Duffey down to Rochester with him, because he sucks too.  If the pitching has been so execrable, they might as well just re-hire Steve Carlton to pitch a game.  Shoot, get Randy Johnson too, and even Roger Clemens.  Hey, that's an idea!  Every single home game for the Twinks in September will be started by a retired Hall Of Fame Pitcher!  They can't be any worse than the "prospects" this fucking organization has now, can they?  And yes, this sounds like a stunt a minor-league baseball team would try, but right now, the Twinks are a minor-league baseball team.

This club is in Toronto for three and then they'll be in Cleveland for three before they begin a four-game series against the Chicago White Sox Thursday at Target.

Well, That Interview Went Fucking Nowhere

Shortly after my last blog post yesterday I saw an e-mail from the company that saw my resume on my LinkedIn and brought me in for an interview on Friday.

Well, since they sent me an e-mail, I knew I wasn't going to be hired.

I told my shrink earlier this week that even if I got rejected, I still feel good because I got this interview basically out of the blue.  Well, fuck that.  This sucks.  I want something real good to happen in my life, and getting a full-time job would have been it.  (The pay wouldn't be great; I looked up how much this position pays on average; my current hourly wage, prorated to 40 hours per week and 52 weeks per year, exceeds that, but hey, I would also get benefits.)  But it is not to be.

I wonder if it was my fault.  Was I too flippant?  Was me not understanding what the company does a red flag?  Did naming a client which actually was no longer a client a bad thing?  Ooh-ooh-ooh, maybe it was getting the name of one of the interviewer's bosses wrong?  That could have been it.  Or, all of it could have been it.  Or, maybe none of it was it.

You know, when one looks back on his life, he can see Janus points, forks on the road, decisions which led you to the life you live now.  Or, the non-life.  I'm not sure where mine was, but I guess there was a time or times where I could have become serious about finding a career.  But back then, I was determined to be a sports announcer, and until then, I would keep my prospects free by temping until I get that chance.  Well, those play-by-play jobs aren't knocking down my door, and I've been temping for two decades now.  I don't have an extensive track record of job to draw from as a result.  I therefore am stained by this peripatetic work lifestyle because I will be defined by it from now on.  And it that's the case, maybe I'll always be a temp.  So why in the fuck do I even bother interviewing for full-time jobs?

I don't know.

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Just to show I have no hard feelings I tried replying to the company on the e-mail address given me.  But it bounced back to me.  Hey, I am just trying to be professional, like all these work experts say I should be.