Yeah, this is very late in coming, especially after the Playmate Of The Year was announced two months ago. Many of my blog posts are weeks late. That won't stop me from talking about it now, however, mostly because I am horny.
According to a survey of commenters on chat boards I frequent, the PMOY should have been Pamela Horton, Miss October. I can see the appeal, and make sure you focus on this: She looks like the Girl Next Door, the ideal Playboy founder Hugh Hefner says he always looks for in a centerfold, yet she does not look like the Girl Next Door. Horton has small, natural breasts, pale skin, and wears glasses -- stuff I think is sexy (well, shit, I think a pulse is sexy), but that certainly does not fit the mold of what Playmates usually look like. However, she does a lot of things that are PMOY-worthy. She is very outgoing, has a huge social presence (I believe that the magazine, or at least Hef, is looking for models who will advance Brand Playboy), and in a trend that has come quick but is now inexorable, she is one of many Playmates who confesses to playing video games. So why wasn't Horton picked? Even though people cannot vote for PMOY, general consensus more often than not get the choice right. I don't know why she wasn't picked.
Not to say Raquel Pomplun (April) was considered so heinous she shouldn't have qualified. It's just that I don't remember her pictorial. She's gorgeous as fuck, she is very active on social media (though I notice she's much more active since she won) and it's possible that her ethnicity (she's Latina in some way) may be something the magazine is trying to capitalize on as Latinos are burgeoning as a demographic. For those reasons, Pomplun makes a great case for being PMOY. But again, she did not make an impression on me. Plus, I believe she is married, which is a big fucking downer.
Two things influence my decision for PMOY. First, obviously, are her pictures. But the other thing is gaining more importance: Her use of social media. You may not have noticed this, but some time in the past few months Playboy has started giving out a centerfold's Twitter, facebook and Instagram. And it appears that each girl's Twitter address starts with "Miss," which leads me to believe that the magazine is mandating the feed and, I believe, her use of it. Now, it'd be nice if the Playmate would naturally use it without being ordered; it be even better if she used it as any person would use it, and not just for Playboy-related stuff. But I have seen other women use it, be on it, then suddenly disappear on my feed. (Of course I friend Playmates as soon as I find them!) To me, it's obvious they were only on social media for the publicity, and once it subsided -- or once they learned they would not be Playmate Of The Year and maybe not do any promotional stuff for them -- they decided to quit working for the magazine and go back to their normal lives, one without facebook or Twitter.
Those that use and still use it are aces in my book. In that sense it's actually a good thing for me to have waited till now to announce my PMOY. Those who still use social media are the "real" girls, not the ones doing it to become Playmate Of The Year. And at the very least I am aware of who they are. Those that do aren't automatically my favorites. However, those that don't I can quickly dismiss. Therefore, although I again assert that they are all beautiful, I can eliminate Heather Knox (January), who has not been on any social media I've seen for the past few months, and Amanda Streich (December), who hasn't used her Twitter in over two years and whose facebook is studded with shots of her and other models posing. The Alpha and the Omega of 2012; not a bad way to start culling the field.
And now that I'm researching some more, I don't see too much of Leola Bell, Miss February. She has a Twitter she uses, but she hasn't used it since the 13th, and a Facebook on which she has never posted a message and whose photos are all modeling shots. Yeah, I'm taking her out, too. And after taking another go-round, Shelby Chesnes (July) isn't on as much as the others. She's cute as a button, and I appreciate her using her really last name (c'mon, you don't think someone would use the name "Chesnes" as a stage name, do you?), but I'll have to cut her out as well.
I'm one of those doddering folks who still use facebook a lot. I've read somewhere that teenagers, those cool kids, are fleeing facebook en masse because their parents are on it. They use shit like Twitter and Instagram to communicate with their friends. Facebook is now the social media for old farts. I'll adjust to the times whenever I feel like it. Till then, I filter my choices and order through facebook first, at least from a social media aspect. That means I have to say goodbye to three Playmates who use Twitter a lot more than facebook: Lisa Seiffert (Miss March), Beth Williams (Miss August), and Britany Nola (Miss November).
In a very sad coincidence, these are the three women who I thought had the sexiest pictorials of the year. Each of them have a striking physical feature that helped their spread stand out. Seiffert, who is Australian, is a tall, very tall, drink of water. Nola showed as much vaginal hair as any PM I've seen in quite some time, even if it was just a landing strip. Moreover, it is dark, compared to the blonde hair she's sporting on her head. Sure, the carpets don't match the drapes. Britany Nola don't give a fuck, and that's what so sexy about her. (Oh, and I appreciate her retweeting tweets outraged at the George Zimmerman acquittal.)
In my opinion, Beth Williams turned in the hottest Playmate spread in 2012. She's damn sexy, but hers appears to be the only one that used peekaboo shots -- you know, clothes that are unbuttoned that show a breast, or a breeze lifting up the end of a blouse to reveal her twat. Well, you see a flash of gash here, and Williams pulling down her chaps to show that she ain't wearin' nuthin' underneath them in the upper photo here. But the best shots of her, in fact the best shots of any PM in many years, are the two where she's wearing an off-green plaid shirt that is tied at the midriff but unbuttoned, and it's loose enough that the sides of the shirt are pulled off to the side justenough to show her breasts, here and especially here. I can picture being outside and seeing a woman wearing a shirt just like that, and if I was lucky enough she would walk in such a way where the side of her body would constrict and boop! a nipple would pop out, just like in those two photos, and I would be such a happy man. Playmate pictorials ages ago were mostly shots of that, teases where you caught a glimpse of the Playmate's nakedness. I don't remember when and I don't know why they got away from hide-and-seek nudity, so I take Beth Williams's fucking wankable spread as a throwback to the magazine's glory days.
I have accounted for nine of the 12. I excuse Amelia Talon (June) next. She updates frequently on both facebook and Twitter (updates appear on both, so she uses them interchangeably), and she too is tall, sexy, and on the right side of the injustice that happened to Trayvon Martin, albeit less stridently than Nola. However, she, like Pamela Horton, is a gamer, and I have not played video games since my brother took his system (was it the Nintendo 64?) with him to college, so I cannot relate. Also, in my time looking through my facebook feeds Talon updates much less than the other two. Don't quite understand it; she updates as much as I do. Guess the times she looks through facebook are not the times I look through it.
So which of the other two would I have as Playmate of the Year? The runner-up is ... Alana Campos, Miss September. If I recall correctly, her pictorial took the place of Danielle Burt, a model who was teased in Playboy's "Next Month" back-of-the-magazine preview. Now I see Burt's facebook updates from time to time and she's hot as hell, and I think she got jerked around by Playboy, who now will not say the names of the models who are next up to be centerfolds. Not to say that Campos is ugly. She is ... well, she has a face that is kind of squat, more horizontal than vertical. I'll just say that. Meanwhile her social media usually is fresh, and I do like the fact that she is a Playmate with actual opinions. As of press time, her last update she uses the word "shit" -- well, "s***," but it's close enough. She complains about traffic, thinks the latest Rolling Stone cover is "disgusting," and hates old people driving. Now that I think about it, I think she's a closet Republican.
Which leaves me (although I don't want to say "leave" because it sounds like I was left with no other choice when in fact there are many affirmative reasons she's my selection) with Nikki Leigh, Miss May. I'll be honest: I don't remember her Playmate spread. But she is sexy as fuck, even though she bares a striking resemblance to a PM from the previous year who is also very active on social media, Ciara Price. I like her best because she gives us a peek into what her life is like -- not just the modeling photos and shoots, although there's a lot of that, but also the stuff she likes to buy and the food she loves to eat. Right now she's in the middle of a Minions kick; you know, the cute yellow drones from Despicable Me. Maybe she's not as deep as I would like, but the candid photos of her, many of them showing off her body (though not her lady parts) more than make up for that. So thank you, Nikki "Leigh," you are Unforgivable Wetness's choice for 2012 Playmate Of The Year!
But, of course, I'd fuck all of them.
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