Where Did She Go?

Happy Chinese New Year's, everyone.

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Sunday I finally had the time to visit Grandmother's best friend in the nursing home close by me.  I don't see her as often as being in close proximity to her would lend one to think I would.  I could say the same thing about my aunt and uncle, and it is Chinese New Year's, where it would be traditional to visit them, but I only plan on calling and texting.  What I'm saying is I'm an asshole.

Anyway, I walk inbetween the double doors, and I was about to turn on the intercom.  You know, it's one of those things where you look at the board to see the room number of the person you're looking for, and you punch it in.  I have seen her maybe three, four times since she was shipped here, so I never remembered her number.  And I look at the board ... and her name isn't there.

The last time I saw her was, maybe, in the fall.  Or was it in the summer?  Crap, I don't remember.  And as of now I am totally filled with regret for not visiting her more often.

She was the one Grandmother took my brother and I to to get our hair cut when we were young.  She was short and energetic, and she had this really high voice.  Her hair was always coiffed, of course, and she always had make-up on, so even though she was not of stature, she conducted herself well.  I was bored spending time waiting around at her hair salon while she did Grandmother's hair and nails.  She tried bringing in a black-and-white TV, but that didn't work.  So, we just spent time waiting around.  That was OK, I guess, until I got older and started getting my hair cut at other places.

I think their friendship changed as they got older.  She still cut Grandmother's hair for a while, but then their relationship centered around gambling.  Later, when her husband died and her townhome got too big for her, she moved to this nursing home.  It was around this time Grandmother was taken out of the house.  After that, they couldn't speak to each other because Grandmother lived in St. Paul and wasn't given a phone.  When Grandmother was shipped to Hong Kong, I tried to keep in touch with her friend by visiting her on occasion, but I wondered if I should have visited her more often.  We didn't have a whole lot we could talk about, but I wasn't really a respectable kid around her when she did my hair, and I wanted to make it up to her.

But, well, I don't know if I did a good job of making it up to her, since it's been maybe months since she apparently was taken from this home.  Or ... has she died?  She didn't seem to be of failing health the last time I saw her, but if that's the case, I don't know why she would leave there, although she did say that her stepchildren had complained it was kind of expensive for her to live there.

What compounds my guilt is that I haven't yet called anyone there to ask her whereabouts.  I don't think I want to know.