Now Where Did Grandmother Go?

OK, this is getting weirder and disconcerting.  Just like her best friend, I have not been able to talk to Grandmother.

The last three or four times I have called long distance and tried to speak with Grandmother in Hong Kong, I was told by the person on the other end of the line (whether it's a family member or a nurse, I can't tell) said she was sleeping.  The last time was Saturday night, where I wanted to call her and wish her a Happy Chinese New Year.  But she was sleeping then, too, at least according to the man I spoke with (maybe it was her son).  I have called when Grandmother has been sleeping, but never three times in a row.  Has there been a downturn in her health?  Are they hiding something from me?

This is what really scares me about trying to keep in touch with someone living halfway around the world.  I want to visit her in case I won't be able to see her ever again, but finding a ticket is expensive.  I am mentally facing other obstacles that may be of my own making.  For example, I haven't spoken about my wishes to visit Grandmother to my parents.  I'm scared that they don't want me to go; despite Grandmother raising them and then raising us, there may be an enmity from them towards her the depths of which I still can't fathom.  I also fear that leaving the country for a while (I spoke with a guy in my meeting who recommends two weeks; I thought about a week, though really, three or four days in HKG would totally be OK with me) gives My Father permission to ask if I'm going back to school or if I am looking for a real job.  I don't want to deal with those stupid questions.  Also, he might start to scrutinize how -- or even if -- I could leave and then come back to a temp job (which they know this is).

In such a case, I would be afraid they could tell I am seeing her because I had time, and that is because I indeed lost my job.  But there has been a complication.  After feverishly going through the online want ads last night, I was told by one of my supervisors here a few hours ago that she wants me to stick around for about a month more ... but part-time.

I took it.  I like working here and I want to show my appreciation of working here (with the eventual hopes of landing a permanent job here ... maybe?) by taking them up on their offer, even though there may be other full-time (though temporary) work that'll bring in bigger paychecks.  Also, it'll alleviate my fears of flailing about for another job.  Now, the paychecks I will get will be half as much as before, so I should cut down on my expenses; no regular mochas or lunch, for example.  Potentially more troubling, this extension now pushes any potential trip I can make to see Grandmother into March, where things get really busy for me.  There are hockey tournament games I want to attend.  There is an alumni event that I have to be here for.  And then there's my birthday.  Finally, although pushing out the date of my trip theoretically means trips will be cheaper, from what I have seen, prices are at its cheapest in February, regardless of when you book.

I did mention my wish to see Grandmother to my supervisor, and she understood.  Nevertheless, I told her I would take this extension.  I really hope I don't regret it.  In the meantime, I have to wish Grandmother a Happy Chinese New Year, so after this seminar at the U. tonight, I will try and call her again.  And I hope to Buddha that I can hear her voice, and she is clear, and cogent, and strong, so I can feel as though I have the time to see her a month later than I initially wanted to.  Please, give me that.