Friday, February 6, 2009

Is It OK To Eat Frozen Yogurt?

Not fro-yo, like Pinkberry, which you still can't get here. But like Yoplait, the store-bought stuff. I saw a bag of it sitting on the kitchen counter. I thought, Oh yeah, yogurt! I need that because it's tasty and it's good for you! My grandmother asked me to eat one, and being the obedient grandson that I am, I did ... but when I grabbed a cup out of the bag, it was icy. Oh shit, she puts cups of yogurt in the deep freezer in our garage to save for a later date, I guess.

"Eat it, it'll make you shit!" she says. She always says that -- "it'll make you shit." Like shitting 18 times a day is a good thing. My grandmother says that for most foods -- bananas, nuts, fruit smoothies, that weird Vietnamese dish she always liked to eat when she was young. I think she just likes saying that.

Look, I understand that yogurt is good for you, but is it good for you if you freeze it? Is it all dependent just on the expiration date? I tried looking at the cup's expiration date; the goddamn thing was printed over the item number. I could be going to the shitter once an hour all weekend because I just ate old bacteria-ridden yogurt. I have a meeting tomorrow, I can't be farting and being scared I'll squeeze out liquit shit into my long underwear.

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