Friday, November 23, 2012

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Hope y'all had a Happy Thanksgiving.  Right now I'm eating a second helping of apple pie my brother and sister-in-law bought and brought.  I am not hungry, but something about turkey and/or Thanksgiving and/or eating a lot of food makes me want to eat even more of this tasty pie.  Just saw a photoshopped picture of a joke Louie C.K. apparently has: "I don't stop eating when I'm full.  I stop eating when I hate myself."  I don't help myself.  Yet.  Well, I already hate myself, but not today.  Today I am eating happy.

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I was woken up, again, but My Father doing shit in the morning.  I resolved days ago that I was going to sleep in because it's Thanksgiving, and I want to sleep in, dammit.  At least till 11, when I was going to take a shower.  I thought that would placate My Fucking Father, but after I step out of the shower he badgers me about eating something for lunch and then says, "Why don't you do something?  You sleep too much, and your eyes ... they no good!"

Oh, fuck you, you paranoid dumbfuck.  I so could not stand this that what I planned on doing -- taking a brisk walk outside so I could lose a pound or two and boost my metabolism -- turned into necessary distance from him as he was tooling around doing shit around the house.  I took my tablet, my checkbook, all the deposit and withdrawal slips I haven't recorded in my checkbook, and a greeting card I need to fill out and send to my sister's in-laws (they sent one to my parents), and I decided to walk to the coffeeshop and spend, oh, as much time as I could there until I had to come home for Thanksgiving Dinner.

Let me say this: With all the talk about Black Friday creep, where stores are opening earlier to the point of Thanksgiving evening, virtually everything was closed this afternoon.  The coffeeshop, which I swore was going to be open for at least part of the afternoon, closed up at noon.  Then I thought about the Dairy Queen, which had a TV and maybe I could eat something while watching the Houston Texans-Detroit Lions game (which turned out to be great, which sucks because all I really wanted to do was sit on my ass all day and watch football, and because of My Fucking Father I couldn't do that), but they were closed, too.

So now what?  I thought about my currently piece-of-shit car and a potential future without not only that but with no wheels at all.  I've thought about how I would get around without private transportation, and I decided that there's nothing better than using my own two feet.  There are no complications with engine trouble, no fighting with weird strangers on a bus, and I know that my legs work, at least for now, plus I could always use the exercise.

I live between two fairly busy streets.  Along with the two smaller roads that bracket the street I live on, I am bordered by four intersections that have fast food restaurants and gas stations that I could get by walking if I needed to grab a bite to eat.  This was the perfect time to see if I could get there on my own, and if so, how long.  So from the intersection where the coffeeshop and DQ were, I walked as much as I ever have.

Actually, now that I think about it ... there was a time when I was in preschool, and I was telling my Grandmother (not the one who lived with us, the "fake" one, but Father's mother, who died back in 1985) that I didn't have to go to school that day, but she insisted that I had to, and she took me to walk with her all the way to what I think was the local mall before she tried opening the door to our school and seeing it was locked.  Anyway, I went to the Four Corners Of My Neighborhood, going to the gas station with a Taco Bell in it (also closed), then cutting through to my house where I saw Mother was home because the minivan was parked on the driveway.  Still, there was way too much time, and I hadn't checked the Wendy's over there -- yep, that's closed.

Finally getting to the four places that could sustain me if I had nothing to eat and no car to get me somewhere, I went back to the original corner, the one where the coffee place is.  There is also a local produce store, and thank God that was open till 3.  I wanted to try cheaper places first, but there was no other place where I could just sit and hang out, so I went back there.  This may be the first time I walked to this particular intersection twice in one day.

They had a turkey dinner available to eat.  I didn't want to eat that because I knew I had the same thing waiting for me at home.  But I didn't want the salad either because I knew we would be eating that, too.  So even though the turkey was more expensive, I finally decided to get that because a) all that walking made me think I could handle two huge dinners today and b) I wanted to compare their turkey with the one my folks made.  Verdict on the latter, by the way: Parents win, hands down.  Little good comes from turkey that's been under a heat lamp, even if it is soaked in gravy the whole time.  With Coke it came out to ten bucks, which I didn't want to charge on my credit card, but fuck, I couldn't fucking stay at home!!!

At 5 to 3 I went home.  Good thing, too; the clouds came over the sky, the winds picked up and the temperature dropped while I was eating a pre-Thanksgiving Dinner Thanksgiving Dinner.  And I got home just before the surprise snow showers came.  Too bad I'll now have to scrape snow off my car and hope I don't get into an accident tomorrow morning when I bring my car in.  At least I won't have anywhere to drive; after I dump my car I'm taking the bus all the way to the Mall of America.  Another test to deprive myself of wheels and to test my patience taking public transportation with the great unwashed.  Wish me luck.

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