#-1: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!). First of all, I do find it kind of weird that ten of the 15 players on the roster are white. I didn't know that there were 10 white people in the NBA! Just kidding; I know there has to be more because of the Europeans. Still, it is weird to see a majority-white team, the whitest since the Celtics, in that bastion of diversity, Boston, since the Bird-McHale-Johnson eighties.
The racial balance will be a bit more even for at least the next six to eight weeks. That's because the franchise's best player, Kevin Love, is out for that time because he busted up his hand doing knuckle push-ups. God, that sounds like that sucks. Meanwhile, Ricky Rubio is still trying to heal up from his torn ACL; he isn't expected to be back till the New Year or so.
Therefore, the team has to weather the storm without their two best players. Good thing, then, that their season opener was at home against what probably is the worst team in the Western Conference, the rudderless, soon-to-be-ex-Sacramento Kings. They have Tyreke Evans and DeMarcus Cousins, two great talents with temperamental attitudes. They could be great, but they sabotage themselves, and so the Woofie Dogs are so far undefeated in this very young year. Without Love and Rubio, they need to take any victory they can get.
The schedule, obviously, gets harder. But I hope that screening weeks aren't as hectic as the five fucking games this team has to play, which includes back-to-backs that begin and end the week: At Toronto and being the second-ever team to play the Brooklyn Nets; home to the now-sucky Orlando Magic; then a quick-flip of vs. Indiana and at Chicago.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). Should the supposedly-second-best team in the land be losing at home to MSU-Mankato? Well, if they did, like the Goof icers in Saturday's 5-3 defeat to the Mavericks, they won't be #2 any longer.
At least they won the first game in the series Friday, 3-2. And that follows a 1-0 decision over Canisius Sunday. This week they take what I think will be their final trip to Anchorage to play the Alaska-Anchorage Seawolves for a pair. Of the many reasons to like leaving the WCHA for the new Big Ten hockey conference, flying three time zones and a world away has to be one of them.
#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1). A split. They swept last year's runner-up, Illinois, in the annual Williams Arena/cancer fundraiser game, then they went to powerhouse Penn St. and lost. Well, at least they won a set, and they weren't blown away in any of the three sets they lost (for the record, they won 21, 19 and 21 points). They finish their four-game roadtrip this week: Ohio St. today (Sunday), Michigan St. Friday, Michigan Saturday.
#-4: Gopher soccer (Last Week: 0). OK, now I am confused. I thought this team's Rating Percentage Index was the main determinant in whether or not the U. would get into the NCAA Tournament, and they were, to my surprise, a shoe-in.
Um, maybe not. Either I overlooked this or the guy whose site I turned you guys onto last week just plopped down an entire sheaf of new reports, but this team has gone from no chance to certain chance to definitely maybe for the tourney. Crunching the numbers, this guy has spat out several worksheets listing the teams in order of their, uh, RPI and/or chances of reaching the tournament, and the Goofs are one of about 25 teams that could be in, and yet might not be in.
So it didn't help that the lady footballers lost the first game of the Big Ten tournament, 3-2 after penalty kicks, to Illinois. Even though this was a 4/5 matchup, I still consider it an upset, particularly because they had a 2-0 lead on the Illinois with goals -- both by Taylor Uhl, who has to get some recognition for her finishing prowess by the conference -- scored early in the first half 3:04 apart. But the Goofs couldn't hold on, and they lost 3-2 in PK's. That's got to put them squarely on the bubble.
I thought about just ending their year here, this week. But I don't want to announce anything before it is time, especially since I'm utterly confused as to how good their chances are. I'm not holding my breath, but I certainly don't want to pull any team from #-Infinity before their season truly is done. We'll know for sure Monday at 3:30 Central Standard Time, when the field will be announced.
#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -2). Philip Nelson for Heisman? Anyone? He went 13-of-29 for only 142 yards and a touchdown as they got crushed by Michigan (last) Saturday afternoon, 35-13. The Wolverines keep possession of the Little Brown Jug for the 38th year in the last 41. Worst of all, the last time the Goofs have beaten Michigan at home was all the fucking way back in 1977. I was a year old at that time. They have beaten the Wolverines in Michigan more recently they have at home. Un-fucking-believable.
Seriously, what was the point of burning Nelson's redshirt? And this proves that he may not be Senor Hotshit. Regardless, this season has boiled down to whether they can beat Illinois in Champaign next Saturday afternoon. Win that, and they get that "magical" sixth win that puts them in some shit bowl. Lose -- and Illinois has yet win a conference game yet -- and they're losing the rest of the way. Gopher fever: Catch It!!!
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