I just panicked. I wanted to get around to tabulating that, but I got lazy and so I never did, and now that it's been months I don't really know the answer. But I should have. I should have been prepared, but I wasn't. And I should have known he was going to ask me, but I didn't. Wouldn't've mattered if he blindsided if I had the numbers, but I didn't.
So I pulled it out of my ass. And the amount is wrong, wildly wrong, at least twice as much as it actually is. Why? Why did I say that? I don't know, I really don't. I guess I was already not doing a good job, he was asking questions he should be asking, I already felt under the gun, and he deked me out with another question I couldn't handle. So I lied.
The question now becomes: How do I get out of this? I can't continue to lie this guy. Then again, I think he already has a low image of me; confessing will make that even lower, and I don't need that. Maybe it was a mistake. Yeah, I should say that. Or maybe I can lie.
What is fucking wrong with me?
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