Where The Hell Did All My Money Go?

I kind of suspected something when I had to get ready to pull all of Mother's money I got for her from the restaurant she lent money to out of my checking account.  I did the math and the total amount left over was going to be less than three grand.  And I thought, "Shit, shouldn't I have more money?"

Thursday night I finally took a closer look at my account online.  And, yep, combining my checking account with my savings account, I have a working total of $3,000.  Remember that that combines both of my accounts, so if you only count my liquid checking account, I have about $2,600.  This despite being gainfully employed since a bit after Labor Day.

Extrapolating on a total for a pay stub I just looked at from mid-December, I believe that this flu billing job I have had the past five months has paid me $8,100.  I first thought that when I began this job I had a total of three grand, meaning that every single penny I've earned at work I have spent.  But it's not that bad; when I started this job I had only about $2,300.  And I did some shifting around anticipating a $600 credit card bill I paid off in the middle of September; while that was the second week at the flu billing place, around this time I only had two grand in there.  So, technically, I have made money since starting work in the fall.

Nevertheless it's a huge buzzkill to see that I don't really have a nestegg.  Seriously, where the hell did all my money go?  I've had some huge credit card bills, but they don't add up to $8,100.  But I see all the money I've taken out whenever I stopped by an ATM -- $60 sometimes, $100 a lot more often.  Shit, where the hell did I go?  And yeah, I committed a lot of sexual activity with my whores, and I ate out a lot.  You know, I want to say that that can't add up to $8,100, but all of that plus the credit card bills (which consist mostly of phone and Internet bills and gas) probably do.  I believe this would be the cash flow problems of someone who lives by himself, but I don't have rent to worry about.

I think I made up an old saying: You either spend all your time making money, or you have all the time in the world and so you're spending money.  I know that whenever I'm unemployed cash fritters through my hands like a sieve.  I was just hoping that during this job I would be too tired to go out and do anything.  That certainly was not the case.

It's not going to get any better.  Who knows when this job will stop, but it will stop soon.  Starting on Boxing Day, when I spent $100 for a Starbucks gift card for my brother and sister-in-law and anchored by a smartphone I am paying all at once, my impending credit card bill will be huge.  Whatever I make from this from this job until I get let go may or may not pay for that.  And that doesn't include my trip to St. Louis next month.  I had this dream that all my financial worries would be solved with this job, even if it was temporary, and I would be able to put some money in my stocks and replenish my 401(k) and everything.  Goddamn, was I wrong.

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I have to admit: After seeing my meager back account Thursday I got so depressed I got onto VEF to look at some porn.  It was a good excuse to log into VEF for the first time in nine days.  And after seeing Houston sucking off Kieran Lee, I forgot about my problems and was able to whack off for the first time since the surgery.  Felt good, too.

You know ... if I did spend all that money on sexy time with my whores, I don't think I would change a thing.