OK, I'll be honest: My parents have been away on vacation for about a week-and-a-half. With the exception of an e-mail I just checked out from presumably Mother about an hour ago, I have not been in contact with them, at all, since I took them to the airport -- not even a "We are here safe."
And you know what? I have been extraordinarily happy. No worrying about whether Father's going to come down on me if he thinks I didn't clean the house enough, or Mother asking some stupid question of why some thing's on her laptop and she wants it gone, NOW!!! Them not being here means no nagging from either parental unit. And the resulting silence has been bliss, pure bliss.
Since they were in Europe their opportunities to communicate with me have been few and far between. We were in touch the last time they went across the pond, but the guess here is that since there were no incidents then, they didn't feel the need to get to a hotel with wi-fi in order to Skype me. Wait, just realized: I don't have Skype on my computer, and the only one of their laps with Skype is in Las Vegas.
Oh, so that's why they wanted me to download these applications Viber and Tango -- so they could keep in touch with me in case a weird bill comes in or something. I'm still not quite sure what they do because I was never able to use them successfully. I'd wake up in the morning and I'd see on my smartphone that Mother called me using either app, and I guess I slept through my phone ringing. Then I'd try to call back through Viber or Tango (I think they're interchangeable) and she wouldn't pick up. Couldn't she text through either app? Don't know because I never saw one.
So we haven't spoken to each other in over a week. Oh, shucky darn. Guess we'll catch up now. I might ask them how their trip went. And then I may or may not tell them that I was indeed able to eat all the leftovers Mother left for me, or that I had my ATF ***e* come over Wednesday evening in order to clean the house (halfassedly, again) before giving me a handjob. I then may or may not volunteer that I took in the new Planet of the Apes movie late Tuesday night, or that I stayed up surfing the Internet with the TV cranked up loud in the dining room, things I wouldn't dream of doing if they were home. And then I probably won't tell them that I loved being home alone because I don't like talking to them. No, I definitely won't tell them that. I won't have to; they probably know that already and were thinking that while they were in Europe -- "Eh, leave him alone, he doesn't want to talk to us."
Now, will that mean they believe they have a right to make up for all of the silence between us and begin to assail me with questions as soon as I pick them up this (Wednesday) evening? Will they pick a fight with me -- say the house is not clean enough, or ask me why I didn't pay their bills for them? Or will we just be able to get back to living as one family unit without resorting to getting on each other's nerves?
(sigh) I will miss having the house all to myself.
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