So because I was feeling self-destructive tonight -- so, someone thinks I shouldn't be president?  Well, maybe I really shouldn't -- I decided to go to a house party last night.  Probably unbecoming, if not firable, to do so, but I no longer gave a shit.  Touched a girl's boobs, opened my fly up for her to see my dick fur, she told me to keep it closed, but when I gave her my money I made sure my dick head was sticking out.  I just hope the guy on the other side of the room didn't see it.

---

Earlier in the hour I was there I was about to go down some stairs when some guy, the host's friend, warned ... no, threatened me not to go down there without a lady.  "You know the rules.  I don't want to have to kick you out."  The creepiest thing about him when he said that, and that just makes me more pissed off, is that when he threatened me, he stood up but didn't look at me.  No, he was facing 90 degrees away from me.  That's just fucking weird.  So he's dead to me, fuck him.  I was trying to give it back to him the rest of the night.

Then it turns out there were a lot of guys just going down the stairs to hang out.  Maybe that's why he decided to get on my case.  However, I never saw him threaten anybody else.  So, I don't appreciate how he threatened me, but there was a reason to get all snippy about it.  And, in retrospect, it may not have been a good idea to yell at and ignore a friend of a stripper.

---

The only good thing to come out what's shaping up to be an incredibly shitty week: I found my house key!  I was looking for something else when it was in one of my bags o' stuff.  I found both things lying next to each other.  Good -- I didn't lose it after all!

---

So after hitting the bed at 11:30 I've been up since just before 5.  There's no reason for me to be up, yet I'm stressing out over the stuff I have to get to.  There's so much shit I still need to do, but I don't know if I can do it.

So, maybe this person who thinks I suck is right.  Maybe I'm not cut out for this job.  This is so overwhelming.

I'm a fraud, a fake, a no-good bastard.  Why would anyone think I could lead anything?  I'm going to make a fool out of myself.

What am I doing?