Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Wild (Re-Entry!).  These guys are here mostly by default.  The silly/stupid season in the National Hockey League kicked off Friday with the NHL Draft, and the Mild mostly did well there.  Oh, who am I kidding, I have no fucking idea how well they did.  I just looked at ESPN and they said good things about this Alex Tuch guy, who apparently represents the next in a recent string of guys who are "big," which apparently has replaced "fast" as the attribute that will bring your team Stanley Cups.

See, this is the problem the NHL Draft has with the Major League Baseball Draft; these next big things are nobodies, toiling in places where no media hype finds them, generating no heat behind any anticipatory hopes they'll play for our team because they're not on ESPN, and once they go up on stage, shake hands with the commissioner and don the uniform and hat of the team that just selected them, they go back into the minor leagues black hole from which, if everyone involved is lucky, he'll rocket into success, fame, fortune and idolatry.  Alex Tuch could be the next great Wild player.  All we all know is, well, nothing, and so we can't get excited about a guy most of us didn't even know existed until his name was called.  So I rely on experts who say the organization did a good job.

Free agency, which started overnight Monday/Tuesday, is a different story; at least there you're dealing with players whom hockey fans can at least recognize.  And on Tuesday afternoon they scored the guy many people believed would be a Wild ever since 2014 began: Tomas Vanek.  He may have been the best offensive player on the free agent market, known for his prolific scoring and on-ice vision, two things a team that could still use a lot of scoring pop lacked for parts of last season.  This seems like a hand-in-glove fit, something so perfect you would have wondered what would have happened if Vanek didn't come back to Minnesota.

He does have a huge deficiency -- defense.  That was kind of exposed during the Stanley Cup Playoffs, where his lackadaisical effort off the puck busted his worth several notches in many people's eyes.  But that may have been a blessing for the Wild.  Vanek's still the kind of scorer that could command a huge, long contract.  Minnesota already has two huge, long contracts for Zach Parise and Ryan Suter, and they could not afford a third big one.  But that's where Vanek's poor showing during the playoffs help the club.  Vanek knew his market shrank, and therefore a shorter contract with less-than-max money (it's three years at $19.5 million total) may have been the best he could have gotten, at least from a squad that doesn't suck.  (To be fair, that Vanek is One Of Us helps; even though he's Austrian, he played for the Gophers.)  In turn the Wild get tremendous value for a guy who, assuming his deficiencies in the defensive zone don't outweigh his contributions in the offensive zone, could be the key difference in a division where every single team seemingly upgraded their roster, all on the same fucking day.

There's more work to be done.  First of all, they lost several people.  Defenseman Clayton Stoner is going to Anaheim, and both Matt Moulson and Cody McCormick are going to Buffalo, the team that traded them to the Wild this past year, making the latter two by definition rent-a-players.  They need a D-man, and they need to clear up the goaltender situation, where they have three #1 goalies and therefore have no #1 goalie.  But at least they have a stable of young hands that could produce the next Mikael Granlund or Erik Haula, and just as important, they still have a lot of cap space, something many teams can't say they have.  There isn't a good D or G out in the market anymore, but the opportunity is still available.

#-2: Twins (Two Weeks Ago: -1). A 6-7 screening period has careened them several games below .500, giving Twinks fans a sour taste in their mouths a couple weeks before the All-Star Game that's being held at Target Field.

It was a hell of a ride getting to 6-7.  They started it off by getting swept in Boston by their third consecutive low-scoring, one-run game.  They then returned to Target and swept the White Sox in four games.  They then went out to Orange County and got swept in a three-game series against the Angels.  The Twinks then lost the first two games to Texas before snapping a five-game losing streak (and ten-game road losing streak) Sunday, 3-2 over the Rangers.  And they have split with Kansas City.

In last (Tuesday) night's 10-2 crushing of the Royals, Joe Mauer had to leave the game.  Not to say he'll be too missed, since he's clearly not the man we assumed he would be.  Right now, I doubt he'll be in the All-Star Game unless there's a rash of sudden "hamstring pulls" that force those voted in and selected to sit it out.  It's more likely Glen Perkins and/or Brian Dozier, for the lineup and the starting rotation (save for Phil Hughes) is just scuffling -- and the bullpen has been an outright shitshow.

They finish up with K.C. this (Wednesday) afternoon then host Derek Jeter and the Yankees as their Independence Weekend opponent starting Thursday.  They visit Seattle for a quartet starting Monday.

#-3: Wolves (Re-Entry!).  In the end, the Woofie Dogs remained at 13 in what many believe is The Greatest Draft In The History Of The National Basketball Association.  And they took UCLA Guard Zach LaVine who reacted by saying ...



... "fuck me," right?  Wow, another UCLA player who decides he doesn't want to play in Minnesota??  What are the odds???

First of all, LaVine's agent texted a guy I once worked with saying he was just expressing relief.  We all know that's bullshit, even the agent.  Second of all, why is it only NBA players who openly bitch and moan about where they're drafted?  You don't see NFL players say "fuck me" to themselves when they learn they've been picked by Green Bay, and they actually have to play out in the cold -- basketball players play indoors!  And don't tell me it's the organization.  Yeah, yeah, the Woofs are a goddamn hot mess, but no one I've seen grouses about playing on bad football teams.

Fact is, LaVine doesn't want to play here.  A guy who, in a normal draft, would be a Top 10 (and maybe Top 5) guy gets pushed down to 13th, and instead of at least being grateful for our good fortune, Wolves fans now need to mark the date Levine's rookie contract expires so they'll know exactly when he's going to get the fuck out of town.  On the other hand, I have a friend who wished the Timberwolves selected him and must be over the moon.  Experts say that this is a Hail Mary pick; either he squanders his potential (or decides to dog it because he hates Minnesota so fucking much) or utilizes his prodigious scoring talent to be an excellent, even terrifying, wing that the franchise has lacked for so long.  Oh, and we get Glenn Robinson III, someone I'm familiar with because I'm familiar with seeing his dad and seeing him play for Michigan on the Big Ten Network, but is projected to be a tweener in the Association.  That's just too many question marks for me to see Thursday night as a positive for this club.

Free agency is going to be worse.  The only players Flip Saunders is going to attract onto his bench are guys smarter squads knew would be locker room poison.  This team is going to suck for at least the next three years.  But hey, at least Flip's getting the band back together!  Sam Mitchell and Sidney Lowe, two beloved Timberwolves players that have Head Coaching experience elsewhere, will serve as his Assistant Coaches ... alongside Flip's son, Ryan!  Networking and nepotism are alive and well at Target Center!

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