It looks as though I won't be receiving any new assignments at the old testing place for the rest of the year. And even if I did get one for the night shift, I've tried to drive from the new testing place to over there and it's impossible to do without being late, so it wouldn't have worked, anyway.
Assuming that new night projects began this week -- and that the project I walked away from is still going on, but has not extended their hours way into the night -- I'll be able to get buzzed in and drop off my evaluation without anybody from the room knowing I did it. That's important to me, not to be seen, and I have made other precautions about not totally giving away my identity on this burn book-type eval I've given the project. But then again, I kind of want them know it is me. Hell, the receptionist is going to recognize me anyway as I slip in the evals. Plus I'll be calling the company in August to rehash what I wrote on there.
And boy, did I write a lot. I was taking my time, writing a paragraph here and there. But since this is the last scheduled week of the project, if I handed it in any later it would have absolutely no impact, so my hand is now cramped after writing almost three pages the last two days. Should've realized how much I wanted to write. Now, I was afraid that if I turned it in early people would try to figure out who wrote it. That's why I'm being a little more careful of hiding my identity. I'm trying to find that balance; maybe four days helps me get away with saying what I want to say, yet still having those words give some bite before the project's over.
After giving it a lot of thought, I still am upset that these three people who started off scoring just like us were given battlefield promotions (with pay raises to boot, presumably), handed the power to tell we should score these papers, and allowed to walk anywhere like people with privilege, even though we had no idea that that was going to happen. These impromptu deputizations were undeserved and were thus a decision made in haste and without regard to the feelings of the other test scorers there, including me.
And I'm not going to sugarcoat it; I don't think I'm insulting people, but I'm making my thoughts known without varnish because it's how I feel. I have felt powerless for so long after this stupid decision was made, and I think that dropping this off tonight is a way to reclaim that. I have been advised not to do it, and there is certainly a possibility that this will backfire on me. But I will take that chance after I feel I was treated unfairly by a company I wanted, and want, to work with.
Wish me luck.
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