It's starting to get really aggravating at work. Yesterday (Friday) I was told to get back into work for the third time by an immediate supervisor. This time, because it was the third time, I was given a longer talking-to about what is expected of me at work and what the message that sends. Apparently, I have been taking too many breaks, and I should be working if it's not break time or lunch.
Well, Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker, I can't believe that I was lectured to like I'm back in goddamn elementary school, where there are classes you have to be told to sit in your seat until you're told not to. And it feels ridiculous to be condescended to like that because apparently I'm doing my job well. She has told me herself that I am really good. If I am, who cares if I go to the bathroom and get coffee and odd hours of the day? It's not like I'm going to the break room to read the paper for ten minutes, OK? I have just gone to the bathroom and then to get coffee. Well, nearly all of the time. God's honest truth. Frankly, I feel like I'm being singled out as, somehow, the worst offender when it comes to getting up. And I refuse to believe that, especially when I see so many other people in the room getting up to go to the bathroom and get coffee. This hypocrisy is absolutely fucking ridiculous.
Oh, God. I am now bristling at these bullshit standards at my current job. I know at my old job they didn't give a flying fuck if I, say, have to take a shit for 20 minutes. No one bothers me. There aren't such high standards over there. In fact, they don't mind taking a girl who sat beside me and gave her an undeserved promotion even though we trained on the same material at the same goddamn time. There are no standards over there.
It's ironic, don't you think? It's times like this, where I've been treated like I'm some misbehaving child, and when I'm in, like, minute 45 of my 80-minute commute (no joke, it took me that long to get home yesterday) where I'm thinking, "Oh fuck, I so goddamn regret leaving that job for this one!" But then I remember feeling nothing but righteous contempt whenever that chick shook her fine ass on her way to the printer to get an essay to guide me into scoring it correctly, even though we were taught this shit at the same goddamn time!!! And then, begrudgingly, I realize that I still prefer to be at this job I'm at right now.
Also, I'll give her this: My immediate supervisor is at least saying all the right things. She has been encouraging me, telling me I'm doing a good job. She also did offer up alternatives to my needs when I leave -- I should just get up and about inside the room instead of leaving if I need to shake the doldrums out of my head. Finally, I do have to recognize her authority. She actually is a legitimate supervisor who was a supervisor from Day One, and not plucked out of, say, the seat across the aisle from me.
Still, I don't like it. Whatever I've been accused of is overblown, and I don't like that at all. So I'll just do what I usually do in cases where I feel I've been unfairly chastised but not outright insulted: I'll keep my head down, do as they say (to the best of my abilities -- goddamn, sometimes I just have to fucking pee) ... and not be personable to any authority figure at all. If I'm supposed to work, fine, you'll get nothing, nothing, but work from me. I won't even smile. Cordial but aloof, that's the name of the game. Can't afford to get in trouble anymore, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment