I am supposed to be on this call for incoming students to alma mater tomorrow/Wednesday. I still need more information about it -- for example, what questions will the moderator ask me, and maybe more important, what's the fucking Zoom number so I can dial in at the right time? I asked for this information last week, but I haven't received an answer from the liaison who continues not to be on the ball every single time I need her.
So I am torn, because a part of me doesn't want to be a part of this call. Why? Well, there are two parts. One, I know that the questions will somehow be related to the influence my alma mater has had on my career. I don't have a career; I have a McJob. The degree I got ain't got shit to do with my job, and in fact I'm embarrassed to even try and find a link between my time in college and the job I have now. I'll have to fake my way into giving an answer, and I don't have a poker face, so I'm scared all I'll do is make me look like a chump to these students' eyes. The other part is I am still part of a breakaway faction still ticked off at things that are happening at the university. Helping them here without that favor being reciprocated makes me a fool, and I don't want to look like a fool anymore than I want to look like a chump.
Unfortunately, I still feel the need to fulfill my role as alumni club chair for this region, even though that position, and that club, have officially been put down. I still feel as though I need to hold on for this city. Moreover, not participating here may cause blowback once we get through this worldwide pandemic. I still want to organize events that I like to organize, and if I don't demonstrate to the powers-that-be that I was willing to participate in this Zoom, they might have the power to pass me over and undermine me whenever I do want to organize an event I'm passionate about in the future.
My future helping out my alma mater (and I have no idea how motivated I am to do that, to be honest) hinges on being on this call. Of course, I can't get on this call if I don't know where the hell it is. I thought about e-mailing this liaison one last time to see if I can pry that information out of her. But if I am not motivated that much to help ... well, should I ... not e-mail her?
So I am torn, because a part of me doesn't want to be a part of this call. Why? Well, there are two parts. One, I know that the questions will somehow be related to the influence my alma mater has had on my career. I don't have a career; I have a McJob. The degree I got ain't got shit to do with my job, and in fact I'm embarrassed to even try and find a link between my time in college and the job I have now. I'll have to fake my way into giving an answer, and I don't have a poker face, so I'm scared all I'll do is make me look like a chump to these students' eyes. The other part is I am still part of a breakaway faction still ticked off at things that are happening at the university. Helping them here without that favor being reciprocated makes me a fool, and I don't want to look like a fool anymore than I want to look like a chump.
Unfortunately, I still feel the need to fulfill my role as alumni club chair for this region, even though that position, and that club, have officially been put down. I still feel as though I need to hold on for this city. Moreover, not participating here may cause blowback once we get through this worldwide pandemic. I still want to organize events that I like to organize, and if I don't demonstrate to the powers-that-be that I was willing to participate in this Zoom, they might have the power to pass me over and undermine me whenever I do want to organize an event I'm passionate about in the future.
My future helping out my alma mater (and I have no idea how motivated I am to do that, to be honest) hinges on being on this call. Of course, I can't get on this call if I don't know where the hell it is. I thought about e-mailing this liaison one last time to see if I can pry that information out of her. But if I am not motivated that much to help ... well, should I ... not e-mail her?
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