Wednesday, August 26, 2020

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -1).  Not like it matters since (and I think I've said this before) eight teams from each League are getting into the Pandemic Playoffs this year.  And as of press time they hold the third-best record in Major League baseball (along with the Bay Rays and trailing The Bastard Brooklyn Dodgers and The Bastard Philadelphia-By-Way-Of-Kansas City Athletics).  But the team's 20-11 record disguises a hot start; this past week they only went 4-3.  And so far, Cleveland (behind three members of their rotation that were all picked in the 2016 MLB Draft) and the White Sox (whose Lucas Giolito last/Tuesday night no-hit Pittsburgh) are not fucking around; both clubs are only 1 1/2 Games behind Minnesota.

So it turns out that at least for this vastly-shortened season, the American League Central will be a dogfight.  But maybe it's OK to look at the glass as half-full.  Kenta Maeda has looked really strong as of late.  Rich Hill throws a shitload of pitches per Inning and acts like James McAvoy in Split.  And Taylor Rogers, despite two very conspicuous Blown Saves so far this year, has been mostly a shutdown Closer.  Now, the bullpen's run down now (the reason Cleveland came back to beat the Twins last/Tuesday night), Josh Donaldson's still on the Injured List and Jake Odorizzi went there over the weekend.  With all that fatigue and missed Man-Games, the Twins still are in first, so if and when all those players come back and/or round into form -- hoo-boy (fingers crossed).

Rubber match at Cleveland this/Wednesday evening, then four at Detroit before they come home to begin a crucial three-Game series vs. the Pale Hose Monday.

#-2: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!).  For only the second time in this woebegone franchise's history, the Minnesota Timberwolves won the lottery and hold the #1 pick in the National Basketball Association Draft.  Moreover, it is the first time in the history of the Woofie Dogs that they have moved up from what their record says it should be.  (To clarify, with help from an article by Neil Paine of FiveThirtyEight: Minnesota finished the coronavirus-shortened season with the third-worst record in The Association, behind Golden State and Cleveland.  But, under the new Draft Lottery rules that were put in place a year ago, the squads with the three worst records are all given the same number of chances to win the first pick.  However, if somehow all three teams "lost" the lottery and were not picked for any of the first four picks in the Draft, they would line up fifth through seventh in order of record -- which means Minnesota would fall behind The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors and the Cavaliers.  So, in my mind, they were lined up to pick third.  God, this parenthetical is long.)

That's the great news.  The bad news, and somewhat befitting the damned existence of the Timberwolves (although, yes, the other time they got #1 Karl-Anthony Towns was waiting for them), this draft just so happens to be considered one of the weakest in a long time and one in which there is no clear-cut top prospect, plus all the contenders to be taken first overall have serious deficiencies or is an ill fit with the club.  It seems as if there are two players who have separated themselves from the pack, maybe 2 1/2.  Kevin O'Connor of The Ringer thinks that if the Wolves stay put (and I don't know if they will stay put, although Gersson Rosas probably is looking to trade down, and he should) they will draft Georgia Guard Anthony Edwards, but one of the big knocks on him is his questionable energy, and if he starts dogging it, Wolves fans will see nothing but Andrew Wiggins v.2.0.  LaMelo Bell is considered to be a superior passer, but D'Angelo Russell already runs point on the team, and (like with Edwards) he is questionable when it comes to playing defense, and this is a squad that needs someone paying attention on their side of the court.  (Also, with LaMelo Ball you get Lavar Ball, and I don't know if the Wolves really want that shit.)  The "1/2" is Center James Wiseman, but he plays Center, duplicating KAT's position , and he only played half a season before he got "injured."  So none of these young men are sure things.  Minnesota, as of now, is in line to take a wild stab at superstar first.  This was not a bad year to fall down the draft against expectations, which is what this organization usually does.

But hey, at least they're not the New York Knicks.

#-3: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  First of all, a weird fact.  Minnesota is 6-0 at home and 3-4 on the road, even though the Women's National Basketball Association is playing all league Games in Bradenton, Fla.  In fact, the home team has won more than 60% of this season's contests in the "Wubble" despite not having genuine home-court advantage.  Why is that? Howard Megdal of FiveThirtyEight asks.  The answer?  No one bleepin' knows.

And yet despite a 9-4 record and winning two-of-three Games this screening week, the Lynx sit in fourth place in the ultra-competitive Western Conference.  They beat the two clubs below them in the West, surprisingly-slumping Phoenix and Dallas.  But inexplicably they lost on Sunday to an Atlanta team that won only its third Game of the season.  And the Lynx lost that matchup in uncharacteristic fashion.  Minnesota has been a very good Second-Half team, coming back from huge Halftime deficits to win, sometimes comfortably.  Against the Dream, however, they were spotted an 11-Point lead at the half only to see Atlanta turn the tilt into a 78-75 defeat.

That loss, according to Head Coach Cheryl Reeve, can be attributed to Rebounds.  And who is the all-time rebounder in the WNBA?  Sylvia Fowles, the Lynx Center who is still out due to a bad calf.  The team is still trying to formulate a way to beat good teams without Big Syl, and with Seattle, Los Angeles and Las Vegas all playing really well now, they don't have much margin of error to find a workable Plan B.

This week they have home Games versus the Sparks and the Mercury.  They sandwich a roadie against the Dream.

#-4: United FC (Re-Entry!).  Well, the good news is that they're still second in the Western Conference (tied with Seattle, behind Kansas City).  And it must have been good to finally play their first official match at Allianz Field in 2020 (after five Months and a hastily-arranged in-season tournament), albeit with no fans.  Unfortunately they lost to Sporting Kansas City on Friday by a score of 2-1, each XI gifting the other with Own Goals.  It is technically the first loss of the season for the Loons; that loss in the MLS Is Back Semifinal to Orlando City SC does not count toward the regular-season standings.  And what felt like a team flying high has hit some rough turbulence.

Saturday they visit Dallas.

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