Positive Numbers: Wild (Last Week: -6). Remember this Week, Minnesota pro hockey fans. The Wild have stretched their winning streak to five Games after running the table this screening Week, 4-0. Sure, they won all these contests at home. But one of those victories include Tampa Bay. There's also Winnipeg, New Jersey and, well, Arizona, but hey, they won them all, and that's all that counts! Well, that and they lead the Central Division by six Points as of press time. (They're tied with Calgary for fourth-most Points in the NHL, too.) Everything's coming up Milhouse right now ... and in the world of pro hockey, that's a bad thing, because teams with the best records rarely lift Lord Stanley's Cup. Just sayin'.
This Week: They finish a five-Game homestand Saturday vs. Toronto (one of the squads with more Points than Minny), then hop to Edmonton and San Jose.
#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -8). So these players finished with a better kick than I anticipated. They went into Happy Valley and beat Penn St. in four Sets. They then did the same in Maryland to finish the regular season. Thus, their rank in the NCAA Tournament is intact: They grabbed the overall #12 Seed and will host the First and Second Round of the tourney at Maturi Pavilion tonight (Friday night) and tomorrow/Saturday night.
In case you don't know, this tournament still favors a bracket layout that places a priority on cutting down on travel costs. For every four-club "pod" that play in one location for the first two Rounds of the NCAAs, you have the seeded host school and two teams that are bracketed to go to there because they are at least sort-of close to that host. Finally, I think for variety's sake, that fourth club usually comes from far away. Well, the U.'s pod this weekend follows that model. You have Minnesota, of course; Iowa St. and the Golden Gophers' First Round opponent, South Dakota; and then you have, of all teams, Stanford, which comes into this tourney unseeded. The last time I think they were in the Twin Cities, they were the #1 overall Seed and beat Nebraska at Target Center to win the 2018 NCAA Tournament. Here, they're fighting for their tournament lives as they draw the Cyclones in the First. If I were not working a later shift, I as a neutral would have loved to buy a ticket and get to the Sports Pav early to just check out Stanford vs. Iowa St. I mean, damn, you know?
As for the U. ... they're slated to bow out in the Sweet Sixteen. Do better than that. Fuck it -- make the Final Four again. You know, make this season worthwhile.
#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2). I hear it wasn't pretty. But as part of the men's side of the B1G/ACC Challenge, Luke Loewe's putback off a miss by E. J. Stephens with 2.4 Seconds left gave Minnesota a Great Escape-esque 54-53 Win at Pittsburgh. In this mulligan Year, Ben Johnson has his charges at 6-0. Can't say it's more impressive than the two other squads above them, but yes, it's still quite good to go through so many Games undefeated.
Another intriguing showdowns between two BcS schools comes Sunday as Minnesota travels to Starkville, Miss., to play Mississippi St. Have those two programs ever met before? They then begin their first (bumped-up; they'll play three more also-rans afterward) Week of league play Wednesday at Williams Arena against Michigan St.
#-2: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -9). Routed South Dakota St. Sunday afternoon, 27-13. But who cares, it's South Dakota St. They're in Las Vegas doing the Cliff Keen Invitational. And then they have this Northern Iowa Open the following weekend. Since neither is a Dual, I don't know if I'll report on these guys until their first proper Dual -- which is after the New Year.
This Week will be a stiff test -- At Brooklyn, then home to Atlanta and Utah.
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). Split a series in North Dakota. I'm tired and have not much else to say about these guys. They're going to play two this weekend at Michigan, which lately has become a pipeline straight into the NHL.
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -7). Yeah, they went 2-1 this Week. But all three Games they played were at home. They spanked Bradley and Texas-San Antonio easily. But I went to that third contest, the one Wednesday night where they host North Carolina, a school that does not come up here often, as part of the women's side of the Big Ten/ACC Challenge. I saw that Lindsay Whalen's players were going to shoot the three often (8-for-31). Unfortunately, the Gophers had a rough patch in the middle of the Second Quarter to put them down by ten at the Half. They stormed back almost to take the Game into the Fourth tied, except that the U. D allowed Tar Heel Deja Kelly to shoot and sink a heave from between half- and three-quarters court. I swear that was the start of the team's downfall in this one, as they had a horrible start to their Fourth, and while they managed to sort of come back, the Gophs could not string together a long-enough sequence of good plays to take the lead, and they wound up on the bad side of an 82-76 Loss. That's the third defeat in four Games against fellow major schools, so we are fast understanding at what level Minnesota will be playing at this season.
It appears customary that the conference season will start a Week sooner than it traditionally has, even though they'll sneak in one more Week of non-con play. Anyway, they host Nebraska Monday night.
#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). Crushed Mercyhurst in the "Semifinals" of the Smashville Showcase late Friday afternoon, 4-0. Unfortunately, the next afternoon, they played Colgate, a team from whom the Gophers swept two Games on their ice, and the Raiders exacted revenge on the U. with a 2-1 Win. That ends the club's winning streak at 11 -- a streak that includes that road sweep of the Raiders. Man, I hate it when an opponent is able to get one back on you.
And now the biggie: They're in Madison to take on the #1-ranked Wisconsin Badgers for a two-Game series this weekend.
#-7: Vikings (Last Week: 0). Lining up behind a Guard on a critical 4th Down play late in a close tilt in hostile territory isn't going to silence the haters who think you're still dragging down the team, Kirk. In another close Game (where the team, once again, managed to take a lead of at least seven Points, as they have done so every Game this Year), the Vikes fall in San Francisco Sunday, 34-26. The loss of many of their Defensive Linemen showed; the 49ers racked up 208 Yards rushing at a decimated Vikes D-Line. And so they are clinging to the seventh and final playoff spot. Oh, well; at least they travel to play winless Detroit this Sunday. This Game is exactly what the team needs ... right?
#-Infinity: Gopher football (Last Week: -3). The plethora of bowl Games for non-BcS schools that have 6-6 records show that, despite the claims that the sport has always admired excellence, they in fact truly care about trumpeting the mediocre. Not saying the Gophers are mediocre. But they came into Saturday's tilt with Wisconsin at Huntington Bank Stadium knowing already that their scant hopes of winning the B1G Western Division and advancing to the B1G Championship Game were dashed. That's because Iowa held on to defeat Nebraska. So it would be either Iowa winning the division or the Badgers -- provided Bucky Badger beat the U. in Dinkytown.
Ha! Didn't happen! Shit, man, if the U. can't win the division, by jove, Wisconsin sure as shit won't, either! And so, because Minnesota has gotten Paul Bunyan's Axe back for the second time in three Years (and the first time to win this rivalry Game at home since 2003), you rush the field, something many fan bases did on Saturday. Who cares if you only finish 8-4 and have an outside chance at going to a New Year's Eve bowl? You denied the hated Badgers a division crown and you get the Axe back!
Oh, and to reaffirm that college football is the last bastion of outright trolling, you gotta see what the stadium did after the Game:
Oh, man. College football is so fucking toxic and petty. Gotta love it.
It appears as though this program is settling upon a tier whereby they can't beat the really good programs in the Big Ten save one each season, but regularly beat the dregs of the conference save one each season. For the latter, that bugaboo is Illinois; beat them, and ... well, I think Iowa still wins the conference, but the U. would have established itself as a solid mid-major school.
Anyway -- they beat hated Sconnie!! And they got the Axe back!!!
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