Damn You, Sunrise

It's getting to that time of the year where the sun is rising sooner and sooner.  It has gotten to the point of the day where I can see dawn breaking as I head out to work.

And right now, in the morning, all I can think of is, "Damn you, sunrise."

Why is that?  Winter mornings are very, very cold.  Of course I and everyone else don't want to trundle out in the cold to start the car in order to start another day working for the man.  I should be overjoyed that I can finally see the light on the horizon because it augurs warmer (at least not cold) days ahead.  But I'm not.

I can grasp at a couple theories.  For one, my desk, where I work at the Main Department, is oriented so that my back is turned toward the outside windows.  It just so happens that those windows face east, so that when the sun rises, it rises through those windows.  This happens no matter the time of year, but right now I am supremely annoyed that the sun penetrates the windows and bounces off the window that I face when I'm working, which means I can see that reflection and it burns a hole in my retina.  I have been used to not dealing with that problem until later in the morning (and I obviously don't have to when it's cloudy out), but now that dawn breaks early, that problem is foremost in mind ... well, until the sun rises high enough in the sky that its rays doesn't stream through the window, at which point I forget.  (Oh, yeah; we do have blinds to block the sun's rays, but a couple of the vertical slats are missing, and one of them just happens to be right behind me, so I can see the fucking goddamn sun through the outside window and the reflection off of the window I face.)

Another thing: I remember all the times I drive to work on the highway, and I need to drive east.  I don't have to worry about driving into the sun in the middle of morning rush hour.  But pretty soon I'll have that hot globe lighting up my windshield in fire and I'll have no idea where the hell I'm going.  That's beyond annoying; that's dangerous.

What I think my main issue is something more abstract but more fundamental, at least in my mind: As much as I know seasons change, I hate change.  It did kind of suck that I woke up in darkness and, until about Christmas or so, I drove home from work in darkness.  But I got used to it.  Well, I have to admit I like waking up in the dark too -- it was the cold that got to me.  Anyway, it took me, oh, a couple weeks after Daylight Saving Time kicked in for me to adjust, but adjust I did.  And now, after about three or four months, I have to adjust again.  And I don't like that.

Yeah, maybe I'll eventually get used to waking up to driving home in light.  But as much as winter sucks with the cold and the snow, there are some creature comforts with the night that I have an intrinsic affinity with.  And that'll be gone very, very soon.  Sun, I'm sure you'll be a trusted ally.  But not right now.  You need to give me some time and space for me to process you.