So why have I busted down this team from 0 last Week when there seemingly is nothing they've done to deserve the bust-down? Well, three of their guys were on Team USA's men's hockey team at the Winter Olympics, and they did lose in the Quarterfinal to Slovakia. Sure, those guys didn't even know they were going to be representing their country in Beijing until, like, MLK Day. But did you hear the Game? They were up 2-1 and choked on the lead, then lost to the Slovaks in a Shootout. There were no pro players (at least from the NHL, since they're playing catch-up with their season) in the Winter Games, so the medals were truly up for grabs. The Americans had a prime chance to podium, if not grab gold, since they entered the medal round as the top seed. Shit, man, they were undefeated! And they pissed down their legs in the first medal-round Match. To fucking Slovakia. And three Goofers were a part of that. So that has to effect this squad's ranking. It would be their performances if I didn't.
One more Game in Happy Valley this/Saturday evening, then the final series of the regular season begins Friday versus Wisconsin at Mariucci.
#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). Completed a home-and-home sweep of St. Cloud St. last Saturday afternoon by crushing the Huskies at Ridder, 5-1, then began a home-and-home series vs. St. Thomas by destroying the Tommies at Inver Grove Heights, 7-1. Again, there is nothing to gain but everything to lose in this quiet end to their regular season, which ends this afternoon at home vs. UST. But at least they're winning. And they have won their last six.
#-3: Gopher baseball (Re-Entry!). The next season of University of Minnesota baseball began last/Friday evening at Boca Raton, Fla., with a 9-1 Win over Florida Atlantic. Great start to the regular season, although most things that happen this season should be a goddamn sight better than last Year, when they finished 6-31. They finish a four-Game series vs. the Owls this weekend, the linger at the Twins' Spring Training site in Fort Myers. On Wednesday they "host" Florida Gul Coast. There was supposed to be an exhibition next weekend between the U. and the Twinks, but because of the MLB Lockout, that Exhibition has been canceled. Instead, they play Northeastern Friday afternoon.
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). I was a the Game against the Charlotte Hornets on Tuesday. When I was at Target Center for their last Game, against the Bulls, and saw that the Hornets were their next opponent, I wanted to go. I just had this, uh, urge to see the Charlotte Hornets. But then I thought one Game per Year was enough. And then I got an e-mail from the organization saying I could get an upper-level ticket for five bucks, and it was as if the universe was telling me to go. So I bought a ticket and went.
Between midway through the First Quarter and midway through the Fourth, the Woofs were garbage. They started out like gangbusters, but the shots didn't drop. (It gets very conspicuous when all you're doing is shooting threes and bricking most of them, as the Dogs were doing.) And then they were missing Free Throws. And then Anthony Edwards sat all of the Second Half because he tweaked his ankle. So all of a sudden, Charlotte was leading early in the Fourth by 13, and even though the Hornets weren't playing great either, the defensive effort those middle 36 Minutes made me think they just didn't have anything left in the tank.
And then ... I don't know, the Timberwolves realized they had talent on their team and Charlotte really only has LaMelo Ball, Mason Plumlee and Miles Bridges. They started hitting their Threes again. They started rebounding again. And then Karl-Anthony Town took over the Game. They tied it and in overtime they outdistanced the Hornets for a 126-120 Win.
Aside: KAT drained a Three that gave the Timberwolves the lead late in the Fourth. It was a momentous moment in a Game that looked lost to the home team, and the crowd was as fired up as, according to many longtime observers, Target Center has been in Years. And all I could notice is what KAT was doing after sinking that jumper. He just walked back to the other side of the court -- not with swagger, not even confidently, just ... distant, even sad. It was if he was sort of, well, ashamed that he hit that jumper. I wonder if anyone in The Media caught that.
Anyway, I'm glad I went then because they hosted Toronto that next night and that was when the T-Wolves ran out of gas, losing 103-91. That was the Loss heel that started with a defeat crown to Chicago Friday, which was followed up by a nine-Point Win in Indiana Sunday. One hopes they could continue to gel and improve, but right now they're still solidly in Play-In position at seventh in the West.
The NBA is in their All-Star Break right now. Three Wolves, however, don't have a respite. Both Edwards (with his flip phone ...?!) and Jaden McDaniels participated in the Rising Stars Challenge last/Friday night. And KAT will at least make a cameo appearance as one of the last players coming off the bench for Sunday's All-Star Game. And then the whole club resumes play with another back-to-backer at Target: Bastard Vancouver Thursday, Bastard Syracuse Nationals Friday.
#-5: Vikings (Re-Entry!). All I can say about the hire of Kevin O'Connell as the new Head Coach of the Viking is that if he can somehow convince Kirk Cousins to stay on the team and take a 50% pay cut, he's a God. And if he can't do that, I'll have to hope new General Manager Kwesi Adofo-Mensah finds a team to which he trades him. And then the Vikes can start over with a brighter future ahead.
#-6: Gopher softball (Last Week: -4). The softballers have gotten busy this screening Week, and seeing their results ... I don't think they're going to have a good season. They went 3-3, and while they beat the likes of somewhat good Fresno St., Longwood, and Texas-El Paso (the last a 10-1 trouncing that got cut short at five Innings), they lost a second time to Georgia (albeit in eight Innings, 5-4), shady for-profit Grand Canyon, and Littlewood Classic host Arizona St., and the Sun Devils kicked their asses, 8-0 that was Mercy-ruled after six. The ceiling is dramatically lowering.
A repeat showdown with the Sun Devils approaches tonight/Saturday night, after a Game against Illinois St. and before tomorrow/Sunday afternoon's tilt versus Cal. And then the program takes its caravan to Charlotte, where they'll participate in the Niner Invitational. They begin that tournament Friday morning against Northern Iowa.
#-7: Wild (Last Week: -6). Yes, I think it's time to panic. A close, hold-on 3-2 Win over The Bastard Hartford Whalers Saturday (followed by a 7-4 ass-kicking of Detroit Valentine's Day), they have dropped two straight and looked bad doing it -- 6-3 at The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers, and then 6-2 to really good Florida at the X. Sure, Matt Dumba was not playing against the Panthers, but he sure isn't four Goals' difference good.
It's starting to look like the Mild are a cut below the real contenders, the Panthers, the Bastard Quebec Nordiques, the Tampa Bay Lightning, etc. They're still making up Games that were delayed due to COVID-19 protocols, but I don't see that spark, the run of victory after victory that makes me think, Yeah, this team has it. A bunch of other Mild fans have drunk the Kool-Aid, but leave it to me, again, to be the sober one.
And now they're in Canada for the next Week -- Edmonton tomorrow/Sunday, Ottawa Tuesday, tough Toronto Thursday.
#-8: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -8). Last Saturday's six-Point home Win over Penn St. was good. But they went on the road since and got drubbed by 25 in Ohio St. and, in a COVID makeup, lost at Penn St. by 21. Penn St.! There are some pro-U. bobos on Twitter that have incessantly cheered on this squad all throughout the Year. They were beating their chests when they began with a hot non-con, but since the losing has set in they're trumpeting the "non-stop effort," and the "culture that's starting to form," blah-blah-blah. This team sucks. It's OK that they suck this Year, because it's Ben Johnson's first Year. But they suck, and trying to deflect toward otherwise is not telling the truth and, frankly, pathetic.
They have a three-Game homestand, their final Home Games of the season. Northwestern this/Saturday afternoon, Wisconsin Wednesday.
#-9: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5). In their only Game of the screening Week, they lost at home to Rutgers by 18. The Scarlet Knights' Head Coach, the legendary Vivian Stringer, is taking the Year off. They were 8-17. And they had only one B1G victory. And they beat the Goofers. On the road. By 18.
This team really sucks. And they don't have the excuse of a Head Coach in her first Year on the job.
At Nebraska tomorrow/Sunday afternoon, then home to Illinois Thursday.
#-10: Whitecaps (Last Week: -2). You know, I think it's only fair for me to spread the scorn in the WMNSS. I don't know if there's been a time in the regular season when I have put the Premier Hockey Federation club last (I have put them last when they lost the Isobel Cup Final), so I am going to place these women down here because they got swept last weekend in Toronto. Therefore, I can now unveil, for real, my insulting name for this team: The Whitecraps. Yes, you all played like crap last week, so I am going to call y'all the Whitecraps. Or the 'Craps.
The Whitecraps play at TRIA versus the Metropolitan Riveters this weekend.
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